JustinBuchanan.org

You Have a Story

2012-02-29T09:42:00.002-05:00

Everyone has a story to share. But those who follow Jesus Christ have an amazing story to share. When you read through the Book of Acts, you observe how Paul shared his story. His story, like every follower of Jesus Christ, can be shared with three headings. We begin with our life before Jesus Christ. We are all born in trespasses and sins, separated from God the Father because we all rejected Him as our King. While some spent years without Jesus Christ, other chose to follow Jesus at an early age. Yet all have a time in which they lived without Him.

All believers also can share about the time they came to receive life in Jesus Christ. You may not remember the exact day or what you were wearing. That isn't what is most important. The most important aspect is remembering the time that we, by faith, trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Unless we can remember the time we surrendered to Him, our story isn't much of a redemption story. We are saved by God's grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone. We must share that we came to receive life, abundant life and eternal life in Jesus.

Finally, we as Christians can share about life since following Jesus Christ. Jesus changes our lives. He directs our pursuits and passions. Even though being a Christian does not guarantee an easy life (in fact we know we will have trouble and persecution), when we follow Jesus He sustains and strengthens us in time of trouble. He provides for our needs. He comforts our hearts. He directs our steps. Those who follow Jesus can point to His continual activity and work in our lives. This is an important part to our story.

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you have a story. Your story is a unique and powerful way to communicate the wonderful love and redemption in Jesus Christ. People love to hear stories and you have one of the greatest stories that can ever be told. Are you ready to share? Read Acts 22 and Acts 26 for two accounts of Paul sharing his story.

The Final Word

2012-02-21T15:10:00.002-05:00

Humanity consumes itself, for good and ill, with the opinions of others. If you want to buy a new item these days, we often post on Facebook and ask opinions. Trying to figure out which new restaurant to try demands a tweet to see what responses are provided. This isn't bad. I'm not suggesting it is in the least.

In fact, the Bible teaches the value of godly wisdom from counselors. Proverbs 15:22 says, "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed." Even the Psalmist wrote about the danger of listening to the counsel of the ungodly or sitting in the seat of the scornful (Psalm 1). It is good and right to take godly counsel from others. God speaks always by His Spirit and primarily through His Word. However, He does use others to speak to us and confirm what He is doing in our lives.

Herein lies the caution, though. Who gets the final word? Too many are enamored with the opinions of others, fearful of letting down friends, parents, spouses, coworkers, neighbors, etc. with their decision(s) or action(s). Yet the final word must never go to another person, but to the God who has called us by His own glory and goodness.

The Book of Acts records in chapters 20 forward the journey of the Apostle Paul to Jerusalem. He acknowledges by his own words that the Spirit of God has indicated to him that affliction and suffering await him in Jerusalem (Acts 20:23). Nevertheless, he knows Christ has called him to go to Jerusalem, for the Lord has purpose for him there. Even as he travels on, he finds in two places believers are encouraging him not to go to Jerusalem (Acts 21:4; Acts 21:10-12). Even so, the final word rested with Jesus Christ. Paul continued on, willing to be bound and to die (Acts 21:13), knowing it was the will of God to go. Had Paul listened to the counsel of other believers, others who did love and follow God, he would never have traveled to Jerusalem.

The final word in our lives should come from the Forever King who rules and reigns over our lives. What is He speaking to you? Will you allow anything to dissuade you from accomplishing it for the glory of God?

The Spirit of God

2012-01-16T10:52:00.002-05:00

In his book Forgotten God, Francis Chan writes about the Holy Spirit of God, the third person of the Trinity. Chan is accurate when he says we often talk about the Father and the Son, but we rarely speak or teach about the Holy Spirit. In the opening verses of Acts 19, we find a group of about 12 men who trusted Jesus Christ as the Promised Messiah who came to redeem humanity from sin. As a result, we find that they were baptized with water and baptized with the Holy Spirit.

Paul wrote to the Corinthians in his first letter that all who believe in Jesus Christ receive the Holy Spirit. It is true that outside of the Book of Acts there is no gap between trusting Jesus Christ and receiving the Spirit of God. Yet it still remains that many fail to understand the work and role of the Holy Spirit.

What follows is not an exhaustive look at the Spirit of God's work in our lives or the world. But I pray it lays a foundation for our study of Him and our growth in knowledge of His work.

The Spirit of God Convicts – Jesus stated that the Spirit of God would come after His departure to convict the world of sin. (John 16:8)

The Spirit of God Helps – Jesus called the Spirit of God a helper. In fact, Jesus said when He departed He would ask the Father who would send another helper. Jesus came to help the world by delivering us from sin. The Spirit too has come to help the world in many of the ways we are listing here. (John 14)

The Spirit of God Comforts – Jesus forewarned that believers would face trouble in this world. How amazing that He promised to send the Spirit whom He also called a Comforter. He comforts us in trouble. He comforts us in sadness and difficulty. The God of all Comfort (2 Corinthians 1) has sent the Spirit of comfort to be, live and go with us.

The Spirit of God Guides – Jesus stated that the Spirit of God guides us into all Truth. Everything the believer needs is in the Scriptures. However, God also desires that we know how to walk in greater obedience and walk in His ways perfectly. To do so, we need guidance. We are not always sure. The path is not always clear. His Word will give light as the Spirit of God uses the Word of God to guide us into all truth and obedience. (John 14)

The Spirit of God Empowers – We know from Acts 1:8 that Jesus declared how the Spirit of God would come and empower Jesus’ followers to obey His Word and faithfully proclaim His message. The Spirit of God is our strength and power to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord.

The Spirit of God Prays – Yes! The Spirit of God prays, but not for Himself. He prays for us. Paul writes in Romans 8:26 that he Spirit of God prays on our behalf to the Father with groanings that are too deep that they cannot be expressed with words. So even when we don’t know what to pray, but we go before our Father in heaven with elated or broken hearts, the Spirit prays for us.

The Spirit of God Gives – Paul told the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 12) that the Spirit of God provides a variety of gifts. While there are a variety of gifts, there is but One Spirit who provides those gifts.

The Spirit of God Seals – Redemption begins when we trust in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our sin. However, redemption will be final at the moment in which we are glorified in the presence of Christ in heaven. Until then, we have been sealed for salvation. Ephesians 1:13 states that the Spirit of God has been given to believers as a promise of the ultimate and final redemption.

The Spirit of God Renews – We are the broken but loved creatures of God, created by Him and for Him in His image. Salvation is the means of cleansing and renewing. In Titus 3:5, the Spirit of God is said to renew us having washed us by regeneration and renewing us by the Spirit.

The Spirit of God Testifies – The Spirit testifies to God or Himself. But even more, He testifies to us. The Spirit testifies to our spirit that we are His children. The Spirit testifies to our spirit the truth of God. (Hebrews 10:15)

Believing on the Lord Jesus Christ and thereby receiving the Holy Spirit cannot be overstated in its importance. The only way to receive the baptism of the Spirit is through genuine faith in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sin.

The Spirit of God dwells and works within us to will and to do His good pleasure. May we allow the Spirit of God to dwell in us richly and work in us freely for the glory of God and the blessing of His people.

Thrive

2012-01-11T11:48:00.003-05:00

Jesus Christ came to provide life that thrives, not just survives. He declared that He came to give abundant life. He did not come to merely help us exist.

I have been evaluating my own life over the last few months. Where have I been? Where am I going? What should be the focus?

In part, the answer has been just what I wrote last time. I want to grow in the knowledge and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, making a priority what He prioritizes, valuing what He values, serving as He serves, loving as He loves, giving as He gives. To know and grow in Jesus Christ, I must know and grow in the knowledge of God's written word to me. Therefore, I pledged to use a one-year Bible reading plan that will guide me through all the Scriptures in the next 52 weeks.

As I have been reading, my life is overflowing with the goodness of God's Word. He is teaching me. He is opening my eyes. He has reminded me once again that I was meant to live a life that thrives.

When this week I was reading in Genesis 5, I noted something I hadn't seen before in the list of genealogies. From the beginning down through verse 20, the pattern is the same. A man lived for a number of years, had a son, lived a number of years after that, having more sons and daughters. He then died. The pattern is repeated no less than five times. He lived, he had a son, he lived while having more sons and daughters, and then he died.

But in verse 21 the pattern noticeable changes. Enoch lived 65 years and had a son named Methuselah. Bam! The Scriptures do not then say that Enoch lived. It says he "walked with God" after having Methuselah. And in that moment of reading this remarkable contrast, God reminded me again: There is a great difference between just living and walking with God.

Walking with God goes to the very heart of why we were created. Not to just live. Not to just exist. But to thrive in a personal relationship with God in which we every day walk and live in Him.

I want to know Him more in 2012. I want to grow in Him in 2012. I want to walk with Him every step of the way so that my life thrives instead of just survives.

That I May Grow

2012-01-05T12:12:00.002-05:00

New Year's Resolutions! We make them, we break them. Yet what I have observed in my own life is that I often think of resolutions for a new year that center on my physical body or earthly pursuits.

This year I take inventory of my life. I observe who I am, whose I am, and who God redeemed me to be. In the self-evaluation of my life in the light of God's Word, I recognize there remains much growth that needs to occur.

Peter wrote to believers saying, "but grow in the grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." (2 Peter 3:18).

This stands as my New Year Resolution and my New Year Prayer. Lord, help me to grow.

Notice that Peter encouraged believers to grow in the grace (riches I don't deserve or earn) and knowledge (your thoughts are too deep O Lord) of Jesus Christ. Too often our study of the Scriptures is self-centered. I want to know the Scriptures. I want to be well-versed in the Bible. I want others to admire my knowledge. However, Peter challenges Christians to grow in the grace and knowledge not of God's written Word, but the One of whom the written Word reveals. That I may grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

His word reveals Him. I must know His Word to know and grow in Him. But may my pursuit and study of His word not be for the sake of having more knowledge or parading myself before others. But rather to know more the One by whom and for whom all things were made--including me!

That I may grow...

Come Over and Help Us

2011-10-20T10:53:00.006-04:00

"Come over to Macedonia and help us" (Acts 16:9).

On Paul's second missionary endeavor, he, Silas and Timothy desired to speak the truth of God's word in Asia. Yet the Holy Spirit did not permit them. When they sought to travel to Bithynia, the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to go.

So traveling to the port city of Troas, one night Paul had a vision of a man from Macedonia who appeared to him. Standing up and pleading with Paul, he said, "Come over and help us." From the vision, the mission team, empowered by God's Spirit to be witnesses, concluded desired for them to go and preach the gospel in Macedonia. As a result, the gospel entered Macedonia and then to Europe and finally to the entire Western world.

The call is still going out today. Can we hear them calling? Billions of people live in darkness. Of the 7 billion people on the planet, it is estimated that 1.7 billion have never heard the gospel one time. ONE TIME. Jesus is the light of the world. Because we follow Jesus, He calls us the light of the world. We are called to carry the light of the gospel to the dark places that the Spirit may illuminate their eyes to see the beauty of the gospel.

Like in the vision, the world is standing and begging for help. Perhaps they don't know what help they really need. But the Church is to be the light of the gospel. The Church is the hope of the world. We must speak the gospel and make the gospel visible.

The world is begging us to come and help. Our greatest help resides in the message of the gospel we are called to tell. The Great Commission has always been for Jesus' followers to go. The world is calling us to come. Can we here them? Are we willing to go?

The above is of an elementary age girl in India. Our mission team met her on their recent trip and heard her story. Through the window, the girl sees into a room which is filled with believers who are being taught by our mission team. Because of an infection, this girl is not permitted to come inside. So she patiently stands by the window and listens to what is being taught. Did I mention she stood there for 6 hours? For 6 hours she stood listening, patiently and eagerly, to the teaching of the Scriptures.

This girl puts a face on the need in the world. A need to share the good news. A need to strengthen believers. A need to start new churches. In many ways, I pray the face of this girl serves as a modern-day vision calling us to "Come over and help."

We Need Men; Mighty Men

2011-08-24T15:16:00.002-04:00

E. M. Bounds teaches deeply on the place and power of prayer in the life of Jesus' followers. But when he turns to speak of the need for men, godly and mighty men, men of prayer, his words are convicting and challenging. Our world wants novel teaching and new methods when we can little improve on God's methods and power.

In his work Power Through Prayer, Bounds writes the following words. I pray God will make me a man of God...a mighty man...a man of prayer.

"What the Church needs to-day is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men whom the Holy [Spirit] can use--men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy [Spirit] does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men--men of prayer" (p.7).

One of my professors and mentors, Dr. Alvin Reid, often speaks of the blight in the church when it comes to godly men. In fact, he has often said that too many boys grow old but never grow up. They are, as he calls them, Bans. They are half boy and half man. Until God-called men, like myself, devote themselves to growing in godliness and being mighty in prayer, the message of Christ will lack power. Bounds goes on to pointedly say:

"The man makes the preacher. God must make the man. The messenger is, if possible more than the message. The preacher is more than the sermon. The preacher makes the sermon...The man, the whole man, lies behind the sermon. Preaching is not the performance of an hour. It is the outflow of a life. It takes twenty years to make a sermon, because it takes twenty years to make the man. the true sermon is a thing of life. The sermon grows because the man grows. The sermon is forceful because the man is forceful. The sermon is holy because the man is holy. The sermon is full of divine unction because the man is full of divine unction" (p.8).

May we strive to be God-made men, holy and acceptable to Him. May we strive to be men of prayer. May we strive to lead our boys and young men to be all that God intended by His grace and Spirit.

15% Off through September 15

2011-08-17T08:52:00.003-04:00

The publisher of Guys and Lies is offering an additional 15% off when you use the coupon code AUGUST305 at checkout. This offer lasts only through September 15, 2011. I pray God will use the material to challenge and change lives.

Companion to Guys and Lies

2011-08-16T08:57:00.005-04:00

One main reason for writing Guys and Lies was the inability to find any material like this. Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh wrote the book Lies Young Women Believe which addresses the Deceiver and the deceptive tales he tells to young women. There are a number of books for young men on specific issues or lies (i.e., Every Young Man's Battle). But there was no book that looked at some common lies the enemy tells and the culture perpetuates in the ears of young men.

In spite of that fact, there is a great, and brief, book written for young men that serves as a great companion to Guys and Lies. The title of the work is Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle. In fact, I quote Ryle a number of times in the book. Ryle died in 1900 yet his words in Thoughts for Young Men are amazingly fresh and applicable for today. He last revised this particular book of his when he was 71 years old. He was the father of 5 including three sons.

He writes at one place in the book these words:

"[The Enemy] will tell you at the beginning of your lives, it is too soon to serve God--he will tell you at the end, it is too late. Oh, be not deceived!" (p.14)

I highly recommend this work for young men. Over the years I have bought a number of copies to give to teenager men and young adult men. You can actually find the work online clicking here.

Guys and Lies - Part 2

2011-08-06T16:14:00.003-04:00

Thank you for taking time to stop by and learn more about my first venture in publishing. Work on Guys and Lies began last year out of a heart to help young men expose the lies the enemy tells and the Truth that sets them free.

You can purchase Guys and Lies two different ways: You can download a copy or buy the paperback book. The link to the right will take you to the store where you can purchase either version.

The chapter titles are provided below as you consider buying this book.

You and Me

The Deceiver and the Deceived

Lie #1: I can live for me now. Follow God Later

Lie #2: Humble people are doormats

Lie #3: Image is everything

Lie #4: If it feels good, it must be right

Lie #5: Who your friends are really doesn’t matter

Lie #6: He who dies with the most toys wins

Lie #7: I can worship at Saint Mattress

Lie #8: Freedom from sin is impossible

Lie #9: I’m not big enough to make an impact

Guys and Lies

2011-08-05T22:30:00.003-04:00

There is a great deceiver. He is the father of lies . The Bible calls him Satan.

Recently I completed (with the help of a great team), a work that started last year entitled Guys and Lies. In this book, the great deceiver is exposed along with nine lies he tells young men. In this short book, we discuss the liar, the lies and the Truth that sets us free to live for the glory of God and escape the deception of Satan.

This book could serve in a variety of ways. Originally, the material in the book formed the content for a middle and high school Bible study. However, Guys and Lies makes a great resource for parents of young men or for high school and college guys.

You can purchase the book online at lulu.com. There is a link on this page that redirects you straight to the store to make your purchase. I would love to receive any feedback or hear testimonies of how God uses this resource in your life or the lives of others with whom you choose to share it. However God uses it, to Him be the glory.

What do you expect?

2010-09-27T14:38:00.003-04:00

"A large crowd followed Him, because they saw the signs which He was performing on those who were sick" (John 6:2).

When a woman is pregnant, we often say she is "expecting." That term is properly used, for truly she and the father are expecting that in nine months she will give birth to a baby. And not just any baby, but their baby. They expects that life will forever change. Their expectation includes the emotion of joy and happiness of being parents. In reality, it is all about expectation.

John writes that a large crowd followed Jesus with great expectation. Though they did not accept Him for who He truly is as God's Son, they recognized something supernatural about Him. They followed Him expecting to see miracles. Their expectation was high though their understanding was low.

The irony of this passage in John chapter six is great, as well as convicting. In large part, the unbelieving crowd that Jesus, hoping to see His miraculous work, had greater faith and expectation than Jesus' own followers. They came expecting Jesus to perform miraculous deeds, yet, when Jesus tested His own disciples in regard to feeding the multitude, none of the Twelve responded with expectation that Jesus could and would do great things. John MacArthur sadly notes, "No one responded by affirming the power of Jesus to provide."

What are we expecting? Do we expect anything at all? Jesus' half-brother warned about asking Jesus of anything without faith. James said that the one who asks in doubt (without expectation) should expect to receive nothing from the Lord, being a double-minded man who is unstable in all his ways.

William Carey, who founded the modern mission movement, was moved with compassion for unbelievers around the globe. A shoemaker by trade, Carey began to pursue the passion in his heart to see those without Jesus Christ come to know the redeeming love of Jesus. In 1792 at an association meeting in Nottingham, England, Carey preached a stirring message on missions in which Carey challenged Christians to expect great things from God and attempt great things for God.

We will never attempt great things from God if we do not expect God to do great things. If our God cannot do great things, we have the wrong God. Jesus has the power to work in ways that exceed our need, our asking or our imagination.

What do you expect God to do? What do you expect God to do in your life? What do you expect God to do in your church? What do you expect God to do in your community and your world?

Expect great things from God!

God's Story - God's Call

2010-08-30T08:37:00.001-04:00

God wants to write the story of every individual. On the pages of Scripture we find the account of God’s redemptive plan, as well as the stories of those He graciously chose to be part of that wonderful plan. More than archaic writings of yesteryear, the words of Scripture share the incredible work of an Almighty God, often accomplished through ordinary,sinful, individuals like us.

God began writing my story in June 1996. He had been at work in my life a long time before then. However, it was at that time I came to a conscious, act of the will decision to trust Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. I had heard about God all my life. I heard the children’s church stories and the youth group messages. But not until I was 17 did I truly understand that all of God’s redemptive plan which included His Son being murdered and then being resurrected was for me personally. That June in 1996, my life was forever changed. So began an incredible story God has been writing, a tapestry He’s been weaving, even a symphony He has been composing.

Shortly after God adopted me into His family, God called me to ministry. Having begun college with my own plan of pursuing a degree as a medical doctor, my plans were radically changed the very first semester when I knew God was calling me to ministry. A friend had loaned me an audio message of a man named Ronnie Owens who was sharing about his own testimony. As I listened to that message, God spoke to my heart calling me to full-time Christian service. Thus the story God was composing for my life became even more interesting.

I took my first staff position at 18 years of age working with children Kindergarten through 6th grade. I served in that position nearly 3 ½ years. I left after graduating college to move here to North Carolina to attend Southeastern Seminary. And after a year of working at UPS, God called me to serve as the middle school minister at Bay Leaf Baptist Church.

My first Sunday at Bay Leaf was June 17, 2002. That was over eight years ago. Much has occurred during that time. I got married, had three children, and a lot more. But there has been some interesting moments while serving here. As always, there have been ups and downs; days you really enjoy and days that are extremely difficult. It is interesting to look back and see God’s work through 8 years.

At the beginning of 2006, a church just east of here in Selma, NC, contacted Sarah and I about meeting with them to discuss coming to be the pastor there. We did meet with them, had a great conversation, and left the meeting agreeing to pray for God to make clear His will. Believing God speaks always by His Spirit and primarily through His word, I prayed and read Scripture. One morning, I read 1 Timothy 1:3 and God spoke to me saying, “Stay where you are. I’m not finished with you.” It didn’t make a lot of sense for me then. But as often the case, we walk by faith and trust Jesus even when it doesn’t make sense.

Sometime later, Sarah and I were reading with our children (Isaac and Ethan at the time) before bed. We decided to read through Judges. That night as we read, God spoke once again. We read Judges 2:10 which spoke of a generation rising in Israel who did not know the Lord or what He had done in and for Israel. I knew in that moment God was speaking. I remember saying to Sarah after a long pause, “I perceive that God isn’t finished with us in working with students.” Again, that didn’t make sense except to believe that we were going to remain working with middle school students for an indefinite time into the future. But as often the case, we walk by faith and trust Jesus even when it doesn’t make sense.

A short while after that night, our high school minister at the time resigned. I was preparing to leave on a mission trip when in a meeting I was asked about assuming a position as student pastor here, overseeing both middle and high school. That began in the Fall of 2006, roughly 4 years ago.
Now all of this is past tense of how God has spoken to me and to Sarah in writing His story in our lives.

Recently God spoke again. One morning as I was reading Acts 23, God spoke to me. I came to verse 11 and God basically said, “You have been my faithful witness at Bay Leaf, you will be faithful where I send you.” Over 10 years ago, Bay Leaf began a church campus in the northern part of Raleigh to reach the expanding neighborhoods of the North Raleigh and Wake Forest area. Originally called Bay Leaf North Campus, that church is now known as Wakefield Baptist Church. In March of this year, Wakefield’s pastor resigned. The church, and its Transition Team, began to pray for God’s wisdom in discerning who the new pastor should be. In July of this summer, the Transition Team called me to ask if I would meet with them to discuss the possibility of being the next pastor. That morning when God spoke to me from His word in Acts 23, I knew He was calling me to Wakefield to serve as their pastor. While Wakefield has not yet voted to affirm this decision (for the vote will occur on September 12, it is my belief that God has called my family there and therefore I will be leaving as student pastor at Bay Leaf. Therefore, I wanted to share this with you today so that you did not hear it from anyone but me. I love you! And I wanted to share this exciting, and yet sad, news with you personally.

Today I stand here with mixed emotion. I am overjoyed at God’s work and His calling and that He has called me to a new place and a great place. I am excited to see God work, bring people to faith and grow His body at Wakefield. I am sad to leave after 8 years. I am sad to leave students that I have deeply loved, with whom I have spent much time. But I knew when God called me to ministry that such would be the case at times. Bay Leaf is only the second church I have served. I am grateful for each of you.

Has It Been So Long

2010-08-23T21:01:00.003-04:00

It almost feels like an eternity since I last sat down, logged in and posted anything here. Words fail me even at this moment, it seems. How can I even describe how far we've come and all that God has done.

A little over three years ago, an incredible journey began. A journey of sorrow, of desperation, of faith under trial, of hope and of awestruck wonder at the mighty power of God. Sarah and I recently were eating lunch with Micah in Brier Creek, just on the west side of Raleigh. We began to talk about how we often stopped there with Micah to eat on the way home from the Duke Hospital the Spring and Summer before Micah's transplant. So often he would simply lay in the carrier seat sleeping and sick.

I guess it is a good thing that I cannot remember the last time Micah had to be in the hospital. I remember vividly writing almost every week for awhile about another Emergency Department visit or hospitalization. Sarah has certainly enjoyed the wondrous blessing of having all her children at home, healthy and growing physically and in knowing Jesus. Micah shows the most dynamic change.

Today, he's like a different boy. Now three and a half years old, his speech has improved and he's walking, almost running, everywhere he goes. He is smart and energetic. He loves life and takes on life as if there is nothing he cannot do. His brothers are great to him. Though they have their moments of hitting, screaming, crying, fighting (yes, even biting at times), they love Micah and care for him. Oh how great our God who has demonstrated His glorious nature.

Isaac and Ethan are equally the testimony of God's faithfulness and strength. For two boys who often didn't have mom and dad at their sides during large junks of those first two years of Micah's life, it's amazing to see how God has worked in them and continues to grow them. Isaac is preparing to start school next week. I can hardly fathom that I am old enough to be the dad of a kindergarten student. Ethan is growing quickly too, leaving behind those days of babyhood.

Our journey of faith continues. We realize any day could bring a new challenge, a different tragedy or another uncertain situation. But our prayer is that the Lord who has brought us this far will remain the focus of our hearts, minds and faith. After all, He has proved Himself faithful over and over!

Mission Testimony - Thursday

2010-06-25T00:45:00.002-04:00

I didn't really know what to expect on this mission trip. I knew it would be nothing like last year-different people, different tasks. But the one thing that has been similar both years is the love the people have towards us. Last year, we were working with mainly Muslims and they were so kind to us, even though we don't share the same beliefs. This year, however, we are working with The Great Commission Fil-Am church. Everybody, and i mean everybody, is so thankful that we are here. We are the first mission team they have had to come and visit them. They are so generous to us; they've provided us with food, and they even gave my brother a jacket when he was cold. They never struggle to put us first, even when we don't deserve it. They don't have a lot, but they try there hardest to make sure we're happy and we have everything we need plus more. On the other hand, we have a lot, yet sometimes are selfish to give it away. This has really challenged me to try to put others first, and really live it out. I am so thankful for this trip and for everyone we have met!
-Hannah O'Conner

Mission Testimony -Wednesday

2010-06-24T01:52:00.002-04:00

Hey Everyone back home!

I hope you all are doing well! We miss you lots, but we are doing great and the Lord is working in some incredible ways. There is so very much I could talk about and would love to, but sadly there is not a whole lot of time to do that! So, just to highlight....two of my favorite experiences on the trip so far was first the first "official" day that we were here we attended the Filipino Fil-am Church Sunday morning service. The joy of Christ truly overflowed and shone through that church family in a way I had never seen or experienced. It didn't matter that they didn't have but a few people in the bottom floor of church, or that they didn't have the highest tech. equipment, rather they were soo incredibly happy to be praising the Lord and to have us join with them. Pastor Noel, Ryan, Melissa, Faith, Domb, and the list goes on will people I will remember for the rest of my life. They showed me what it truly means to be on fire for Christ and the experience of witnessing it was one I will not soon forget.

My second experience was the night that we went to People's Park in Berkly, CA. People's Park is literally a park that is 100% for the homeless. It is their domain and they are allowed to hang out there, sleep there, and spend their time there. We went two nights ago and handed out ham sandwiches, chips, water, and tracts and came in contact with a wide variety of people. It opened my eyes to see how hard their lives really are. I am saddened of my previous opinion of the poor and homeless and the mindset that I held. However, after talking with many people at the park, I realized that while yes, some were "crazy" and many on drugs, there were people who due to a series of unwise choices had ended up without much more than the clothes on their backs. Deborah (a lady we spoke to) was highly intelligent and told us (when Brandon and I shared we were from Raleigh, NC) that she had always wanted to go and see NC. I responded with saying: "While, I guess we are your "pieces" and encounter with NC!" To which she responded sweetly: "Yes! You are! I can already feel the love and warmth of Southern love!" It was a really convicting night personally for me and I am glad that I now have a different perspective on the poor and homeless. Jesus came not for the healthy, but for the sick. He died and loves them just as much as He loves us.

Well, that is all I have time to write, and we are all super tired and wiped out so bed is calling all of us! :) God bless you all and I look forward to telling you more when we get back!

Love,
Olivia Stoffregen

Mission Testimony - Wednesday

2010-06-24T01:17:00.002-04:00

Heyy everybody! I hope you are all doing well. So for this entire week we have been running a sports camp for kids at a small local church. Today was our third day doing this and we even had a few new kids. What has really excited me is the older kids who I didn't know if they would come back after the first day and they have been here every day, participating in the sports, singing the songs, and most importantly, listening to the Bible stories. And they've even brought friends which was great!
By far, the event that has impacted me the most was when we went to the Peoples' Park in the city of Berkley. This park was specifically designated by the city for the homeless to live in. We brought sandwiches, chips, bottled water, and tracts to the park to pass out. We broke up into groups and went to different areas of the park. My group went to a corner with a particularly rough crowd but they were so grateful for the food and drinks, and many looked at the tracts as we walked away. We got into some good conversations with several intelligent guys. One young man had read the Bible seven times in three different languages. At first he said that Christianity was not really for him but he was impressed by our decision to act out on our faith and come on this trip.
So far this has been a really exciting, challenging, and fun trip. I can't wait to see what else God has planned for us! ~ Kayla

Mission Testimony - Monday

2010-06-22T01:37:00.002-04:00

One thing that was really cool to see was some of the people in the park where the homeless would sleep. One man, DAvid, was a Christian on fire for God. I reminded David that God knew that he would be in the situation that he currently was in. I also said that his current situation was part of the incredible plans that God had for him. he was really encouraged, but his story encouraged me so much more than I encouraged him. His story consisted of hardships that he had gone through during the course of his life but he had continued to stay on fire for God. It's sometimes crazy to see how I assumed that David wouldn't be a Christian, but I was proven wrong. I learned never to assumed someone isn't a Christian until I have evidence that my assumptions are correct. I guess I just assumed that most homeless are in the situations that they are in for drug/alcohol addictions. Today opened my eyes to my ignorance.

Drew Meyer

Mission Testimony - Monday

2010-06-22T01:34:00.003-04:00

So far the first few days of the mission trip to San Francisco has been really good. We have been canvassing for a few different outreaches such as the earthquake preparedness speech and the sports camp which we have been running at The Great Commission Fil-Am Church. The first day of sports camp went great and the kids seem to be really enjoying it and it's a lot of fun. And this afternoon we got to pass out food to homeless people in the People's Park in Berkley. Some fo the have some really good and interesting stories.

Jacob O'Conner

San Francisco Bay Mission Trip 2010

2010-06-22T01:09:00.002-04:00

On Saturday, June 19, our team of 13 arrived in the San Francisco Bay Area for a week of missions. We are partnering with two churches. The Great Commission Fil-Am Church is in Pacifica and we are conducting a sports camp with them each morning. Urban Grace is in Oakland and we are working with them each afternoon to do community outreach and minister to the people of Oakland.

Please pray for our team. As always, pray for boldness, unity and love. Pray specifically for the children who come the sports camp and for those who will attend the free disaster preparation seminar in Oakland.

We look forward to sharing great stories of God's mighty work.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-23T09:04:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas to all! We hope you and your family have a great Christmas. As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, may it remind us of the hope, peace and forgiveness which we have received.

The night before Christmas the world lay in darkness and despair. Hope was in short supply. Sin seemed to abound more than ever. Where was the light, the ray of hope the salvation of God? Oh how quickly things can change. For the very next night when Jesus Christ was born, everything changed! Hope was born, the light of the world came into the world, despair was dashed sin was no match. Jesus Christ, our living hope, had come. The good news of that night was heralded to shepherds who were told, "Behold I bring you good news of great joy which shall be for all people. For born unto you this day in the city of David is a Savior, Christ the Lord."

The news of Christmas is good news and it is for all people. The good news isn't so much about an event as it is a person. Jesus has been born! His birth was the commencement of a mission to offer Himself as the sacrifice for our sin, in essence creating a bridge from humanity to God no longer characterized by enmity and strife, but peace. That good news is still good news for each and every one of us today!

Merry Christmas to you and we pray you will be reminded of the good news of Jesus and what it personally provides to each of us.

A quick glance at the last few months looks something like this:

Sarah is continually the amazing wife and mother. She has been wonderfully managing our crazy family life and schedule. Primarily, she has been working to complete necessary enrollment forms for Isaac as he begins school next Fall. WOW! She has also been assisting me with homework (more on that in a moment).

Isaac is continuing to grow up too fast. I have tried to slow the process but have been a complete failure. He continues to love sports and the PlayStation with a passion. Though I have tried to indoctrinate he, Ethan and Micah to be Tennessee Volunteer fans, he bounces between a number of teams and even a great Tennessee rival--Florida! He even got his Nene to buy him a Florida Gators sweatsuit. Of course, grandparents seem to buy whatever their grandchildren desire. I just hope I can undue the damage that's been done. Just kidding. I always say to him and Ethan, whatever you do and wherever you go (whatever team you play for), I just want you to love and follow Jesus.

Ethan started preschool this year and appears to be an old pro. He too is growing up. He has become quite animated and able to make everyone laugh. His favorite team is the Tarheels it seems, but that can also change about as quickly as Isaac changes. Ethan is a great help to his mommy. He loves to work in the kitchen, baking, cooking and so on. What I most enjoy seeing in Ethan is his determination (though it can be used in some very sinful ways). But when we play football in the yard, Ethan usually is the smallest one on the field, though you would never know it. He runs, tackles and engages like everybody else. I pray he will live so determined in his life as a follower of Christ.

Micah is doing well right now. No major or excessively long hospital stays in the last few months. We have had one back in September, but it wasn't too long. He has begun to use his walker more and more over the last several months. He was fitted for and received his braces for his legs to help with the muscle strength. Recently he began to take his first steps by himself. On Monday, December 21, he actually walked all around the house by himself. It is amazing to see! He has also begun to eat table food exclusively (no more bottled nutrition). His favorite--Chicken! And not just any chicken...it has to be breaded chicken. His vocabulary has improved greatly where he is almost or right at the level with kids his own age. Just last week, Sarah and I took him and his brothers to a Day Camp at our church where Micah stayed the entire time. He did wonderfully. We were thrilled to see how far he has come and how well he is doing.

As for me, I continue to enjoy playing with my kids and trying to model Christ for my family. I continue to serve at Bay Leaf. One new thing in my life is going back to school. This Fall I finished the application process and entrance exam for the Ph.D. program at Southeastern Seminary. I was accepted and quickly began work for classes in January. It's a lot of reading and writing. Sarah has been helping with the reading and editing. I enjoy the challenge, the material and growing.

With all that said and shared, we praise the Lord for all that He is and all He has done! Merry Christmas to you and to all!

Chicken and Lasagna

2009-09-22T21:54:00.003-04:00

It almost feels like it has been half a year since Micah was last in the hospital. In reality, it's been 9 weeks (or close to it). Micah has had his longest stretch of time at home without a hospital stay and the longest time without a doctor visit (we got to get labs drawn from home for about 4 weeks).

Yesterday I met Sarah, Ethan and Micah at Chick-fil-a for lunch. Normally Micah eats nothing but what most would call "junk food." His diet consists of mostly Pop-Tarts, Cheetos, Pretzels, Chips, and so forth. His favorite...M & Ms. But the chocolate will keep him awake all night if he eats too many. Yesterday at lunch, Micah looked at my chicken and said, "I bite, Daddy." Usually, if he does say that, once you place it up to his mouth he pulls away and will often gag. Yesterday, he took a bite...followed by another...then another...and another... We were thrilled. One of our prayers recently was that God would increase his appetite and help Micah to begin eating more foods and better foods.

Tonight at dinner, he did the same thing. Sarah was serving lasagna to Isaac, Ethan and me when Micah said, "I want some, Mommy." She placed some on his plate (as he sternly called for his Elmo spoon) and I cut it up for him. He took a bite...followed by another...then another...then another. It was incredible. We stopped to pray, again (because you cannot pray too much), to give thanks for God's mighty work in what many would consider such a small (often overlooked) thing.

Isaac and Ethan continue to do well. Ethan started preschool this year and seems like an old pro at it. Isaac is in a 5-year old transitions class and loves it. Sarah seems more rested than ever before, though I do not want to imply she is in any way lazy nor not fatigued easily with caring for our wild bunch that stays on the go. She is my great helper whom I greatly love.

Thank you for continuing to pray. Thank you to those who are actually reading this since you apparently come by to check much more often than I have been updating. Thank you! And may what the Lord has been doing in our lives and in Micah's life specifically encourage you and lead you to give praise to the Lord today.

San Francisco Bay Mission Team Testimony - Hannah O' Conner, Lydia Rooth, Corey Freeman, Jacob O' Conner & Jacob Sampson

2009-08-07T01:17:00.011-04:00

Coming on this trip has been an awesome and very eye opening opportunity. We have been able to share God's love in many unique and fun ways. We have passed out water bottles, tracks, and Bibles in Afghan languages. We have also had the opportunity to go into many Afghan homes and see how hospitable and kind they are. Also, they are very open about their Islamic faith and culture. It has really challenged me to try to be more open with my own faith to complete strangers, like they have for us. I continue to look forward to how God continues to move and bless all of our lives. And, of course, it has been a lot of fun! (:

~ Hannah O'Conner

Ok, so...... you are seriously missing out if you didn't come on this trip!! It has been so much fun, and I've learned so much! I've really enjoyed learning about the Afghan culture and Islam religion. I especially enjoyed being able to go into the Afghan houses and meet their families. It surprised me how inviting they are even though they know we have different cultures and religions. I thought they would not want to be around us, but they really do. I can tell that they are not ashamed of being Afghan and Muslim. They really enjoy telling us about their culture and religion. And, yeah....... that's all i got. So..... the advice I've got for someone who kinda wants to go on a mission trip is, GO ON THE MISSION TRIP!!!!! ITS SOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!

~Lydia Lee :)

Hey this is jacob o'conner. I went on the san francisco mission trip. This has been a very fun trip and a great experience. I got to see the west coast and get to talk to people about Jesus. I was moved by Osman's house and how they allowed us into their home and how they opened up to us and hew they allowed us to talk to them openly about our religion. I was also moved by the people at the Page Street Center. Some of the people had very little money or were stuck on the streets and they still were cracking jokes and helping each other out and having a good time. They were very nice people. I was also surprised about how at Oshman they openly displayed their religion and it was fun to get to ball it up in a couple pick up games of basketball and I hoped that we were able to display Jesus' love to them and their family. And it was cool to visit the Cique and Buddhist temples. Even though they are very different religions from Christianity they were very cool places. It was really cool at the Sikh temple because you were allowed to have a free meal for breakfast lunch and dinner. Also you were allowed to sleep at the temple. I have had a very fun trip in san francisco and i hope that we were able to display God's love in the people that we meant.

~ Jacob O' Conner

There have been so many opportunities on this trip its been awesome. On Sunday I got to help out with a vbs at a church and play the part of Peter. I did the part for about 8 kids from the grades 3rd to 6th. After I did the part I had some free time so I asked if the kids had questions about anything. They asked me different questions about North Carolina and about Jesus. I was very surprised because they didn't know as much as I thought they would......... actually they knew basically nothing! I got to share about Jesus with these kids and how he has soooo much love for us that he came down to this earth and died on the cross for every single one of us! the kids were very interested and at the end I got to pray for them. I pray that God moves in there lives and that you will prey for that classroom of kids. This trip has had so many opportunities i cant wait to share them all with you!!!!!

~ Corey Freeman

Through the duration of this trip I was able to learn a lot. This is a great experience that i think every Christan should experience. It helps us all understand what the people of this time and country and other countries believe and do. It also helps us to be less prejudice to others that we think we know so well. I am grateful for this experience and hope to do it again.

~ Jacob Sampson

San Francisco Bay Mission Team Testimony - Marianna Brewer & Lauren Scott

2009-08-06T02:22:00.005-04:00

I came on this trip without many expectations, however, I have been shocked everyday so far by what I have seen God doing. We have spent a good amount of time with the Afghans here, and I have really enjoyed getting to know them. I have seen how welcoming they are, and how proud of their culture they are and that has really encouraged me to be less judgmental of the new people I meet. I have also really enjoyed meeting other people here in Fremont as well. God has provided me with some great conversations with people in the park. One conversation in particular with a man named Chip stood out to me. After offering him some water, he began asking us about what we were doing here and a few other things. While answering the questions, we had the chance to share some of our testimonies, and I really feel like their were some great seeds planted for the Lord. Please pray for chip and his wife Heather, who is currently undergoing treatment for cancer.

~ Marianna

During the past couple of days I have learned a lot about the afghan culture and how different we are but how a like we are at the same time. I have gotten to spend a lot of time with a couple of different families and realized that we should love some because of their belief. I came on this mission trip not knowing what to expect, but I am blown away about how much their family loves and cares about each other so much and how they are so welcoming to people that they have never met. I hope to bring this back to Raleigh with me. Also today, we went around to different stores and started asking questions about the afghan culture and my group got to talk to Omar. This was exciting because not only we got to show God's love to someone, but he brought up God before we got a chance to and although I may not believe the same things that he does I feel that today we got him asking some questions.

~ Lauren

San Francisco Bay Mission Team Testimony - Lara Funke

2009-08-04T00:34:00.004-04:00

I experienced God's will today in a park in Fremont. We bought water bottles at Target to distribute to the people we encountered at the park. After an AMAZING game of ultimate Frisbee, we split up to distribute water bottles and start conversations with park folk. Marianna, Hannah, and I had a deep discussion with a man watching his daughter play soccer. He was very interested in our Mission Project and why we wanted to help the community. We got to share our testimonies, give him a tract, and pray with him. We will continue to pray that he seeks and accepts the truth of Christ's love.

San Francisco Bay Mission Team Testimony - Tyler Kidd

2009-08-03T12:12:00.003-04:00

It's day 3 and a lot of things have happened. I have seen God do amazing things not only through me but other people in our group. Yesterday I really got to connect with the Afghans. We went to a soccer field to pass out book bags for the kids that are starting school. As we were playing soccer I learned not to be so judgmental against other people especially the Afghans. This trip has already impacted my life and we still have 5 days left.

-Tyler Kidd (August 3 - 9:30 AM)

San Francisco Bay Mission Team - August 2

2009-08-03T01:33:00.002-04:00

"But you will be My witnesses..." (Acts 1:8).

Our San Francisco Bay Mission Team arrived on Saturday and got settled. We have gone non-stop from the time we got here.

Yesterday we arrived, ate lunch, checked into the motel and then met Tim Fortescue, the church planter we are working with this week. We spent the next few hours assembling pack backs for an Afghan outreach in the park. The back packs were filled with school supplies for children for school this next year.

Today our day began with some time at Osman and Marina's home. Osman is an Afghan man who came to follow Jesus through Tim's interaction and witness to him. His wife is still not a believer. However, we had some great time in their home this morning.

The young ladies on our team interacted a good bit with the two children: Sabrina (almost 6) and Habib (4). The young men assisted Osman with some yard work (pruning trees, trimming grass, sweeping, picking lemons and prunes). Sarah had an incredible opportunity to connect with Marina who is about our age and not a believer. Tim actually indicated that today was one of the first times Marina had actually connected with any of the groups or individuals who have worked with him and interacted with this family.

After lunch we attended a Karen Worship Service in San Leandro. This is a people group from Burma who have come here as a result of religious persecution. Some of our students had the opportunity to work with the children teaching Bible verses and songs in English. Following this church service, we traveled back to Fremont to a park for the Afghan outreach.

At the park, our team played soccer, ultimate Frisbee and tug-of-war with the Afghan teenagers and young adults. We also ate with them and distributed the back packs we had assembled yesterday.

It has been busy. But as always, we have been blessed. And what a privilege to be able to be witnesses of Jesus Christ.

We'll try to keep you updated daily...as well as have some of the students share their experiences and how God is working in and through them. Until next time...

Father's Day

2009-06-21T10:37:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day is special and gets a great deal of attention. I'm not here to argue against that in any way. I have a wonderful mother and I am married to a great wife who is the best mother to our three boys.

But unfortunately, Father's Day can almost be a "toke" day. We celebrate it in name, but not in deed. We celebrate the fact we are demonstrating equality, but we miss really expressing gratitude for our fathers and the significance of their presence (and absence for that matter) in our lives.

Today in the PARADE Magazine, our president, Barack Obama, wrote about the profound impact his father's absence in his life had upon him. Sadly, too many children today are being influenced and impacted for a lifetime by fathers who aren't there. Some are physically there and yet are still checked out.

With all that said, today I say 'Happy Father's Day' to my dad. He wasn't just there in body, he was THERE! He was there to talk, he was there to listen, he was there to correct. He was there. He would agree he wasn't perfect. I affirm that...and the fact that I too am imperfect as a father. But he was and is the best God-given dad for me and I appreciate him beyond what words can express!

Recapping for a Month

2009-05-17T08:44:00.002-04:00

I find it increasingly difficult these days to blog. Oftentimes it is not for lack of thought or desire, but time. Either there is no time or the time I have available draws me to want to take a moment of rest. Furthermore, my heart these days is increasingly desirous to begin writing in a different direction. Writing family updates is important and I hope to in some small way continue to do so, for that is the reason and purpose this blog began in the first place. Therefore, do not be surprised if in the days to come a directional change takes place.

In the meantime, I am left needing to recap for the last month. The blog may have been quiet, but our house and lives have not been completely so. Our boys are growing up. Isaac is about to finish his first year of preschool. Ethan continues to grow, help his mom, try to take care of Micah and play ball. Micah is still continuing physical therapy. We hope to begin speech therapy in the near future.

There have been a few hospitalizations in the last month. The most recent was this past week when Micah had a fever and excessive coughing. Doctors believe he has pneumonia. He is at home now and we pray for that to be where he stays. Because of the fevers, the test to insure the bile duct repair surgery was as successful as it appears and hoped was postponed this last Thursday to another date.

Micah continues to have respiratory issues that were present before the pneumonia. He will at times cough until he throws up. It started last May (YES LAST MAY). I realize it hasn't been the most pressing issue. But the fact that it has persisted for a year now frustrates me. I'm ready to get some answers and pray once again God will grant wisdom to the doctors to know what it is and how to treat it.

All in all, things are all right. We aren't where we've been, but we aren't where we hope to eventually be. But praise God for bringing us through what has been, to be here, with the hope in Jesus Christ of pressing forward.

Here We Are

2009-04-16T21:39:00.002-04:00

Here we are at home again! Micah was discharged this afternoon from the hospital. We remain cautiously optimistic that whatever he had is gone. Dr. Berman believes Micah had a virus that led to the onset of something called intussusception . Basically, a part of the bowels telescopes over another part causing extreme pain, vomiting, diarrhea and many other things not so fine and pleasant.

Micah has done well being home this afternoon. He even showed that sinful temper which is probably a whole lot like his daddy as opposed to his mommy. He enjoyed swinging and playing basketball with Isaac and Ethan.

We are not scheduled to go back until Monday. I hope Micah, all the illnesses and complications know what the schedule is. Thank you for praying. Please continue as often as God brings our family to mind.

????????

2009-04-13T22:30:00.004-04:00

Life around our house can be about like a West Virginia road (no offense to you Mountaineers). A lot of twists and turns, sometimes altogether unexpected and unanticipated, creep up on us when everything seemed to be running and riding so smooth. Such are the events of the last 4 days.

On Thursday night, Micah began vomiting and having diarrhea. Fearing dehydration, I took him to the Emergency Department for fluids, blood tests, etc. to get the jump on the things. There was no fever, just the other two lovely companions. We stayed all night but Micah seemed to be better Friday morning and so we were discharged.

The rest of Friday, all day Saturday and all day Sunday were great. We enjoyed the Spring Festival hosted by our church as a family on Saturday, as well as enjoyed Easter together on Sunday. Micah did great. I cannot report the number of times on Sunday morning that individuals commented on "how good he look[ed]." Then Sunday night arrived. As happened on Thursday night, the vomiting and diarrhea began again. No fever. Just those two.

We were already scheduled for a clinic visit this morning which we made as scheduled. The labs revealed Micah was drier than he needed to be. But Dr. Berman was more concerned that this thing (whatever it is) isn't just a normal or typical bug (virus, infection, etc.). His concern is that something could be going on with the bowels either related to surgery or completely coincidental in timing with his recent surgery. All that to say, they are in the process of trying to determine what it is that is going on. This evening Micah not only had more vomiting and diarrhea, but he also had a good bit of pain apparently in his abdomen area.

After abdominal x-rays and two ultrasounds, we still pray for wisdom and answers. Currently, there are none.

More x-rays, a possible CT Scan and additional tests are the plan for tomorrow. For now he is getting fluids since nothing stays down. Our hope had been for a one night hospital stay. I doubt that will be the case.

PLEASE pray for Micah (healing, peace and comfort). Pray for the doctors (wisdom to know the problem and skill to remedy it easily). Pray for our family (Sarah who is staying there tonight and tomorrow, Isaac and Ethan who are once again thrown into the agitation cycle, for all of us as a whole who were so eager to try to reclaim normalcy and begin to move forward beyond the muck and mire of so much that the last two years have contained).

It's a Beautiful Sight

2009-04-05T09:19:00.002-04:00

Micah has been home for almost 5 days now. We were surprised last Tuesday morning when word came that he would be discharged from the hospital. Surprised as we were, we were thankful and excited most of all.

As I write this, Micah is doing well. I qualify my statement only because I have learned that the state of things can change so quickly, sometimes from moment to moment. Yet he is really exceeding what I had even anticipated. I guess I had in mind a very slow recovery; great set backs. However, Micah is crawling, pulling up and almost picking up where he left off. His eating is still not back to his "normal" place. We continue to pray for increased appetite and diversity of foods he eats. Nevertheless, he appears to feel very well.

The surgery also looks to have accomplished its goal. The official result will come in about 4 weeks when a test will be performed to capture images of the flow of bile through and out of the liver into the new passage. Even so, bile is apparently flowing as it should for Micah's bowel movements have normal color. I never realized that brown poop could look so good to a person's eyes.

Thank you for continuing to life Micah before the throne of God. God does so many amazing works, large and small. If you will, please continue to pray for these few things:

Micah to be healthy, sickness and complication free
Micah to continue to develop and grow
Micah to increase in eating and in diverse foods
Our family to have many, many, many days together at home

Great Things

2009-03-26T22:16:00.004-04:00

"Only fear the LORD and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you" ( 1 Samuel 12:24).

When Samuel the prophet and judge of God, for the people of God, neared the end of his days, he gathered the people together. He had faithfully served. He wasn't perfect, but his dealings with the people and reputation with the people was one of goodness and godliness . The people had no charge against him in anything. All the words the Lord gave to Samuel were faithfully spoken to God's people.

"Only fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all your heart," he said. Seeing God for who He is always provides us a good, healthy dose of righteous, reverent and holy fear of the Lord. It also enables us to see our imperfection and need for forgiveness. He is perfect; I am not. He is holy; I am unholy. He is good; my goodness is like filthy rags. When I see my need, I can better see and appreciate the cross. The cross invites me to forgiveness and further fear of the righteous God who made the way of salvation. And I serve Him out of the gratitude of what He has done. But it is more than salvation.

Samuel instructed the people to consider what great things the Lord had done for them. To consider, to ponder, to think upon, to call to mind. God hadn't just done some nice things. God hadn't just done some good things. God hadn't done some things that make you go "Hmm." God had done great things...mighty things...matchless things...things that make you go "Whoa!" He had done great things for His people.

Are we any different? My list would stretch for miles and quite possibly millions of miles. This week, what God has done in our family and in Micah's life, is simply one of many great things God has done. Is it any less great that God brought a wonderful wife into my life who loves God, loves others and loves me (yes, that third one is a difficult one)? Is it any less great that God has given three children to us of whom we are stewards, responsible to God for how we raise them, train them and send them out into the world for His glory? Is it any less great that God gave me breath this morning? Is it any less great that God saves me from myself every day?

No. God does great things. Everything He does is great. Every gift He gives is great. It's all great. I may be less inclined to complain if I would first follow Samuel's instructions to "consider what great things He has done for you." Certainly the "you" there is plural. But it also has such great personal truth as well. God loves me. God takes care of me. God has done great things not just for humanity as a whole (which is true) or my family as a whole (which is true), but He has done great things for me.

Are you grateful? Have you stopped to consider today what great things God has done for you personally? Has God's love become stagnant to you? Do you still stand in awe of the love and greatness of God toward you? I hope not. If so, take a moment today to consider what great things He has done for you. And with every one you think of, remember in that moment, "God did this just for me because He loves me!"

Micah's day was much better than the last two. Last night he was moved from the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit to a step down room. He is eating some, resting fairly well and starting to show a few signs of feeling a little like his normal self. From all indications at this point, the surgery looks successful. However, the doctors will continue to monitor bile output and liver numbers as an indicator. The liver numbers have been trending downward which is good. He is still on some oxygen to assist in breathing. Please continue to pray his eating picks up, his breathing improves to the point oxygen is no longer needed, healing goes well and the surgery was successful and the problem will not return.

Please also remember Sarah who got sick with some stomach virus on Tuesday night. Pray not only that she gets over the virus, flu or whatever she has, but that she will be at peace and comforted while not being able to be with or see Micah. As always, thank you for faithfully reading the updates and praying for our family.

God Did It Again

2009-03-24T16:32:00.003-04:00

"There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like Yours" (Psalm 86:8).

Yesterday was surgery day...and a day filled with numerous prayers directed upward to the throne of God. After a slight delay in surgery time, I finally laid Micah down on the operating table at about 10:00 AM. Then we waited. Dr. Sudan had prepared us that it could be as quick as 3 hours or as many as 6 hours depending on the amount of scar tissue and the difficulty of getting in to where they needed to work.

When it got to be about 4:00 PM and they were "still working," we were concerned. A phone call came shortly thereafter sharing with us that Dr. Sudan was having difficulty pinpointing the blockage. I admit it openly and honestly. In that moment I doubted that the blockage would be corrected. My prayer in that moment was heartfelt and honest.

"Jesus: I understand many things. I understand you are good. I understand you are in control. I understand that you care for my son more than I do. I understand that you know where the blockage is located and that you have the ability to guide doctors' hands to that place. What I don't understand is why you haven't. So I pray again for you to give wisdom to Dr. Sudan to know where the blockage is located and give her the skill to perform the necessary correction."

A number of individuals were gathered in the waiting room who joined hands to pray at that time. And all day there had been faithful friends and followers of God praying for Micah from early in the morning until late in the evening. About an hour after we had received the report that they were having difficulty, word came that they would be closing soon. We didn't know whether they were closing having succeeded or failed. I totally expected more bad news.

When Dr. Sudan came to share with us after surgery, she spoke of the great difficulty they had in cutting and reattaching the bile duct. She said they knew where the previous one had been. But they could not find out where it went inside the liver and they needed to cut into the liver to make the attachment. They tried many methods. She shared that just when it seemed as if they tried everything and they were out of options, Dr. Suhoki (a radiologist who has gotten to know Micah well through procedures and tests) suggested using a different catheter. She did. Believing she had found the direction the duct went in the liver, she cut at that site. And there it was.

Is it coincidence that in the same moment we called on God once again to do a miracle that those doctors who were skillfully working and seeking any option possible found an answer? Are we merely recounting the product of random chance where we pray for the very thing that gets supplied in the same time period? Only those who refuse to believe or cannot see God's great and mighty work would attribute such a miracle to nothing more than a natural event caused solely by the work of man's hands.

God did it again! I saw God at Duke Hospital yesterday. Maybe I didn't see His face. Maybe I didn't literally see His hand. But I saw Him. He was there. He was working. I praise God for faithfully doing what He has done over and over again. I give Him glory for doing only what He and He alone can accomplish. I thank Him for giving those well-educated and greatly skilled surgeons all they needed to enhance the life God created when He created Micah.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate every doctor, nurse, technician and whoever else has a part and hand in the process of Micah's surgery. But I realize they were merely God's instruments and He deserves all the glory and honor and praise. Nevertheless, I say a great, sincere thank you to them. I also cannot fail to thank the multitudes who prayed yesterday, including some who prayed for a boy they have never even met.

Micah is doing well post-surgery. He has a good deal of pain that has been difficult to manage. Sarah was told that the amount of morphine Micah is receiving would be enough in her or my body to cause us to stop breathing. Wow! He is resting fairly well and still in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. We were told to prepare for about a 10 day hospital stay.

I will do my best to give a daily update. Thank you for reading, for praying and for your love for our family. Please offer a prayer of praise to God for their are no works like His, for there is no one like Him.

Still on Schedule

2009-03-21T22:31:00.003-04:00

Micah had another fever this past Thursday morning. The one-eyed ugly monster reared its head once again. Along with it came the joy of heading to Duke to get admitted. As I write this, Micah has already spent 29 days in the hospital just this year. 29 DAYS!

His fever has not returned since he arrived on Thursday. Nothing has shown up in his cultures. At this point it appears as though he simply has some cold virus that was accompanied with a fever. However, Micah remains at Duke through Monday at which time his surgery is still scheduled and we are still on as scheduled.

The surgery will take place Monday morning at 7:30. Dr. Sudan, with the skill, wisdom and guidance by God, will seek to correct the blocked bile duct that has been a problem for Micah twice now (last May and this January). Micah will then spend up to 10 days in the hospital depending on how well the surgery goes and his recovery.

Please pray Micah will continue to be healthy and strong as we approach Monday's surgery. Please pray for wisdom and guidance of doctors and specifically the surgeons. Please pray for our family to rest in God's peace and know He is present with us always.

May God be magnified in our lives and this situation.

Awaiting Confirmation

2009-03-18T10:55:00.003-04:00

Sarah and I met with Dr. Sudan on Monday to discuss Micah's upcoming surgery. The surgery is being scheduled for next week. At this point, Monday is the target date. All the pieces are not in place, but we hope to get confirmation today or tomorrow.

The surgery will involve opening up Micah's abdomen as was done before during transplant to fix the bile duct blockage. The goal is to cut out the blockage and reattach the bile duct. Dr. Sudan indicated there is a 90% chance that this will fix the problem to not recur again.

There are some risks involved with this surgery. First, there is the risk of bile leaking from the site of where the duct is reattached. Second, because Micah's portal vein clotted off some time ago and collateral vessels formed, there is a risk of bleeding because the collateral vessels are in the way and get damaged.

Other risks are present with this surgery. Like there is the risk something would occur that causes the liver function to begin to fail placing Micah in need of another transplant.

But as always, our prayers are for God's shield of protection and His mighty hand of healing to be around and upon Micah. Please be in prayer for Micah and our family. We pray for:

A shield of protection for Micah
God's quick physical healing
No complications with surgery
Wisdom for doctors
Opportunities to show God's love and demonstrate His greatness
Security and Peace for entire family
Isaac and Ethan

On the Mend

2009-03-12T11:17:00.002-04:00

"May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. Selah May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O LORD, save the king! Answer us when we call!" (Psalm 20)

Micah is slowly on the mend. This virus has been one great beast. But the Lord has once again answered us in our distress. He has, by His power of His right hand, healed Micah and strengthened him. Micah is still somewhat weak. The vomiting has ceased, though the diarrhea continues. We are able to ease him back into eating his normal diet. This morning Sarah said he was the most playful and like himself since last Saturday.

As always, we thank you for praying. I encourage you today to seek out those individuals around you who need your prayers; who need God's love. A young boy from our church, only 5 years old, just this last week went into cardiac arrest. He too is on the mend. In just a few short days from now, a man at our church is going to be undergoing another surgery dealing with cancer in his abdomen. Today at the very moment I write this, one of my dad's sisters is having surgery because of stomach cancer.

Oh the scores of individuals around us that we can pray for and show God's love. May our eyes be open, our hearts be sensitive and our spirit be willing. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I am His body...I am His hands and feet...I can be His touch and I can be His representative in all kinds of places and situations.

To the Hospital Again

2009-03-08T23:47:00.002-04:00

I guess it is only fitting since we have a pattern of a hospital stay each week for the last three weeks that we should keep it going for this week. Micah hadn't been feeling very well today. Less active...not eating as well...took an early nap. Then, after his nap he awoke with a fever.

Fevers - The big, ugly one-eyed monster that means you have to go to the hospital. (I know that definition probably isn't one of the options in Webster's Dictionary, but it will be in the dictionary I release.)

It seems as though he may have picked up a virus with diarrhea, vomiting and a nasty fever. Sarah took him to Duke this afternoon at which time he was admitted through the Emergency Department. And we thought this might be a rather calm we as we geared up for his surgery!

I spoke to Sarah at about 9:00 PM and they were settling into a room on the 5300 floor. I pray for a quick recovery and a quick homecoming.

Please pray for Micah's healing. Please pray for Sarah as she is at the hospital caring for him. Pray that we might bring glory to God wherever we are and with whomever we encounter!

Change of Plans

2009-03-04T17:39:00.002-05:00

Plans change. I think I just heard each of you reading this say, "You got that right!" We've learned that in the last two years with our three boys and Micah's medical needs.

This last week has had its share of frustrations, not the least of which included the lack of knowing exactly what the plan was or is for Micah's next surgery to correct the bile blockage. Numerous factors have gone into this decision-making process. Yet here is where it stands.

Currently the pediatric transplant doctor is out of town. Sarah and I decided today that we would prefer to wait for her to get back before having the surgery. Since we are waiting, we were discharged to come home and wait for the surgery some time on or after March 16.

Micah's doing great. God has truly given him the grace he needs to endure all that he has and is facing. The bile drain that had pulled out was reinserted yesterday and working properly. For now we wait to here confirmation as to when the surgery will be. I greatly appreciate your prayers and notes over the last two days.

I'll keep posting when I know more.

The Bile Drain

2009-03-03T10:36:00.003-05:00

Sunday night was filled with more than dreams of snow, sledding and a stay-at-home snow day. Sunday night included Micah's bile drain pulling enough that it ceased draining the bile out of his liver into his external drain bag. Instead, bile began to leak around the tube at the insertion site into his abdomen.

We did get to stay at home Sunday night and throughout the morning on Monday. Our boys loved the snow day and seeing all the snow on the ground. However, that familiar call instructing us to head to Duke came at about noon. So Sarah and Micah spent the night at Duke Monday night.

Today at 3:30 PM Micah is scheduled to be put to sleep so they can reinsert the drain tube. And while we had anticipated the surgery to fix the blockage would come after March 16, apparently the latest twist of events and this drain have created a firestorm of activity to get the surgery done soon--possibly this week.

Right now the goal is to schedule him to have surgery either Thursday or Friday. I'd be lying if I said it didn't discourage us or frustrate us. Needing to have this surgery is discouraging and frustrating in and of itself. Micah doing so well, progressing and developing in great ways makes it all the more this way.

But as is true with all of life, you don't always get what you want. It doesn't always happen like you plan. It is what it is...and how we respond to what is remains the key. So once again, as frustrated and discouraged as this has at times made me, I am reminded that when things are good I will praise the Lord; when things are bad, why should I do anything less?

Thank you for praying for Micah. If we can pray for you or minister to you in any way, please let me know.

1 Day - 3 Posts

2009-02-11T13:25:00.007-05:00

This might be a historical day in my blogging career. Today is the first time I have ever posted three entries on the same day. In the process, I actually passed the 100 posts mark. There is a reason why there have been three in one day, though. First, there was much to say. Second, it has been a while since I said anything via the blog.

If you are reading this entry, please be sure to read the last two, especially the entry entitled What can you give?

Since Christmas, I have taken an intentional break from blogging. It isn't because I didn't want to write. It isn't because there was nothing to write about. It was because I suffer from what many of you suffer from. Misplaced priorities!

I sometimes become so busy just "doing" stuff that I miss "doing" what is most important. The break I took from blogging has been an attempt to assess the state of my life and priorities and work at putting things in the right order. This guy is a firm believer that we can be so consumed in doing stuff that we do a whole lot, but we do little if any of it very well. When we continue to take responsibility for things upon ourselves that are not a priority or part of our chief responsibility or what God has specifically called us to do, we end up causing a few problems:

We fail to do what we're called to do with excellence

We rob others of doing what they are good at; what they are called to do

We do a lot and yet get little done

We fail to honor God with the best, because we often have to do things giving to it what is left

Presently, I am easing back into blogging (so don't be fooled by or expect more days where there are three entries on just one day). The battle is daily to CHOOSE THE BEST. Do what I have been called to do. Do what matters. Refrain from getting bogged down in the things others can and should do. Delegate when needed and when necessary.

I guess I share this to explain why the silence since December. I guess I also share it because maybe you suffer in the same way.

As I close, I want to remind you of a truth that continues to free me in this area of my life. Most who know me would agree that I want things done well and done with excellence. However, it is often pride that causes us to jump into everything and do everything. After all, it won't get done like it should unless we do it, right? Furthermore, it is often our self-worth that is tied to our doings. We find value as a human being in doing things that people then in turn praise us for doing.

There is a truth that sets us free from both: God has called us to do specific tasks, but not everything. Even so, my worth before the God of the Universe has nothing to do with what I do. It has everything to do with who He is and that He created us in His image. He gives me my worth...not who I am in this world or what I do.

Take time to refocus. Take time to remember what your greatest responsibilities are and should be. Go all out right there!

What can you give?

2009-02-11T12:56:00.002-05:00

The WRAL FM Radiothon for the Duke Children's Hospital and Health Center is ON THE AIR. You can donate by calling this 1-866-684-1015 or online by clicking the image to the right.

Last year at this time Sarah and I were at Duke with Micah during a difficult medical time. Micah was receiving treatment (a mild chemotherapy treatment) for something called PTLD. It was last year (from September 2007 to September 2008) that Micah spent enough days in the hospital at Duke to equal 30+ weeks.

I wrote last year at this time: "Duke is not a perfect place, but it is a good place." The doctors there aren't perfect. They make mistakes. Things are not always smooth. Answers can sometimes be scarce. However, when I consider not having the care for Micah that he has received from there, I rejoice in the Lord that He has placed us close to this medical facility and gifted those medical providers with the skill and wisdom Micah has benefited from.

So I ask you to consider this question: "What can you give?" Sarah and I, even before having children, have given a various times. Maybe you don't have children. Maybe you've never had a need for a facility like the Duke Children's Hospital and Health Center. Even a one time gift of any size would be an incredible blessing to Micah and every other child that receives care there now and will receive care there in the future.

What can you give?

Where Things Have Been and Where They Are At

2009-02-11T12:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I was eating lunch with my friend Chad. Another gentleman I know happened to be eating at the same restaurant. He came over and said, "So how is Micah? I haven't pulled up the blog lately to check."

I quickly responded, "Don't worry. I've not posted a new entry since Christmas time." He laughed and said, "Things that good, huh?"

I wish I could say that things have been that good. Here's where they've been and where they're at.

About a month ago Micah's liver numbers were continuing to climb. Dr. Berman began treating him for rejection. This did not work. Come to find out, there is another blockage in Micah's bile duct (you'll recall he had one last May). Twice Micah has had a procedure to try and open the blockage. Both times have been unsuccessful. He currently has a bile drain that is running out of his abdomen and draining the bile into a bag. He is scheduled to have the procedure again at the end of this month to try again. If that does not work, surgery will likely be required to correct the problem.

In the meantime, he has also had a bacteria that caused him to be very sick and hospitalized. But as of right now, he's doing well. He just crawls around and carries (or drags) his bile drain bag with him. He's even begun to say Isaac's name (add that to the list of "Mom", "Dad", "Ball" and "Pop tart"). It's pretty neat to continue seeing him grow and develop in the midst of all that is happening. As a matter of fact, except for his new bile drain, you would see him and think he's doing great.

Thank you for continuing to pray.

The Gift

2008-12-23T12:47:00.002-05:00

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son..." (John 3:16).

Well, it's that time of year! Yesterday I was jolted back into reality as I took Isaac and Ethan shopping with me (yes, I'm a little bit of a last minute shopper). The mall was packed...the stores were a wreck...people were everywhere and some even frantic...all for the purpose of buying those gifts.

Christmas is quite the gift-giving holiday. Most reports indicate it is the sales at Christmas time that propel most stores through the rest of the year. Everyone is looking for the right gift; the perfect gift. When found, the gift gets placed in a box, wrapped in nice paper and a bow placed on top.

Recently as I was speaking in chapel for the preschool at our church, I talked about gifts. I actually took with me a nicely wrapped package. I asked the children what I held in my hands. Each responded, "It's a present." Then I asked them how they knew it was a present or a gift. The classic answers were given. "Because it is wrapped in paper." "It has a bow!" one boy exclaimed. "Would it still be a gift if it didn't have those things?" I asked. Just about every child said, "No."

And as I shared with them, so I write it here, that the greatest gift ever given was given by God to all of us. Yet when Jesus was born, He didn't look much like a gift. He wasn't in a gift box. He was in a manger. Jesus wasn't wrapped in fancy, flashy Christmas paper. He was wrapped in human flesh. You would not have found a bow upon Him at all. Instead, He wore the humility of a servant who would serve all humanity.

There is one aspect that is very similar about Jesus, God's gift to all humanity. Every gift is given for the joy of the recipient. How many individuals ever give true gifts knowing the person will not like it or enjoy it? So it is with God's gift of His Son. Jesus was given that we might have joy and that our joy might be full. Free from the bonds of sin...free from the destruction of sin...free from the death due us by sin. New life to live...new love to know...new hope to experience. We can have joy unspeakable because of the gift of Jesus. He is The Gift. He is the greatest, costliest, perfect gift man has ever known. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus!

Micah is doing well right now. We're still in the process of regulating rejection medicine and administering antibiotics to treat what is believed to be an infection (which is believed to be the culprit behind both the sinus and lung issue). He's doing much better this week than he has the last three. Hopefully we'll be able to stay out of the hospital for Christmas and many more weeks to come.

The CT Scan did show some issues that are still being discussed and monitored. The spots in his lungs are still present, though apparently are smaller than the previous CT Scan. His abdominal wall is inflamed. This is believed to be a result of the elevated EBV (Epstein Barr Virus) that is elevated in his body. Hopefully reducing the amount of rejection medicine will allow his immune system to fight this back.

All in all, we just continue to be thankful for life--our lives, our children's lives and the life we have in Jesus Christ! Thank you for continuing to pray!

Merry Christmas!

No News is NOT Always Good News

2008-12-15T13:55:00.003-05:00

"Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord" (Luke 2:10-11).

You've heard it said before that "no news must mean good news." We make that statement oftentimes fully realizing it is filled with holes and faulty logic. It could be we say it to reassure ourselves or others. After all, when it comes to good news, it is meant to be shared. Otherwise, is it really good news.

I read a story once about a couple name Ole and Helga. The couple met when they were teenagers and married in their late teens. After more than thirty years of marriage, Helga comes to Ole one day and says, "I want a divorce. You don't love me anymore and I want a divorce." Ole, a bit stunned and taken back, responded by saying, "But I have taken care of you, provided for you...I've spent the last thirty years right by your side." Undeterred, Helga retorted, "You don't love me anymore. In thirty years, I don't ever remember you saying those three simple words: 'I Love You.'" Ole's answer was classic. He said with sincerity and tenderness to his wife, "Helga, I said 'I Love You' on the day we were married. If I ever change my mind, I'll let you know."

Ole loved his wife, but never shared that news with his wife. It may have been true. But the lack of good news left Helga to fill in the gaps with bad news.

Christmas time reminds us that while the world is filled with bad news, there is good news to every human being. Not only does God's word tell of the good news (that Jesus Christ is born the Savior of all), Jesus Christ brought the good news. Just think of it as God's Show and Tell. It wasn't just enough for God to tell us of His love; He showed it. On that first Christmas night when Jesus was born, the promise of God was fulfilled and good news came to all. Angels declared that good news to shepherds who were watching their sheep under the night's cloak of darkness.

The angels told of good news. But it was more than just a message of good news. The message spoke of the birth of Savior; a Deliverer. There was even the mention of a sign. The shepherds could know without a doubt that this good news was to be true. For they would find the baby, the Savior, wrapped in cloths and lying in the manger. The good news was confirmed for every shepherd who went to find the baby lying in the manger.

After departing from the presence of Jesus, the shepherds left proclaiming the good news which they had heard, and had now seen.

But imagine if God has sent His Son to be the Redeemer of all mankind, but told no one. What if shepherds had not been summoned, wise men drawn by the star? What if the prophets had not been inspired to pen the words of God's promise? What if the Apostles and the writers of the New Testament had never passed along the good news either verbally or in written form? No news wouldn't have meant good news, but rather a continuance of more bad, hopeless news.

Consider the person who may have told you for the first time of God's love and forgiveness available because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What if their mouth had been silent? What if the good news that he or she possessed was kept bottled up? Where might you be? Good news is meant to be shared. The message of God's great love and forgiveness is meant to be spoken and demonstrated to others. Oh that we would take a perfect opportunity, celebrating Christmas, to share the good news with others.

It has been almost a month since I last wrote a blog. I wish that no news meant complete good news for our family. We have had several really great days. Maybe even a couple great weeks. Through Thanksgiving, Micah did incredibly well. In the last two weeks, however, our family has been fighting sickness upon sickness. Micah's had a fever and vomiting the Friday after Thanksgiving. Micah and Ethan are currently both dealing with colds and fevers. Isaac, while struggling with the remnants of a cold, is the best of all three. Yesterday I began to apparently get the cold of Ethan and Micah. Today it is Sarah's turn to start that journey.

Because Micah is still not better and consistently running fevers, he will begin two antibiotics today that will be given every 8 hours. Dr. Berman wants him to have a CT Scan tomorrow of his head and chest. But if he cannot get the CT Scan tomorrow, Dr. Berman wants him admitted into the hospital. We've made just over three months without a hospital admission or all night stay in the emergency department. Though I am thankful for what we've had, I don't wish it to come to an end now. Especially, I'd like to not spend this Christmas in the hospital as we did last Christmas.

Please pray for the general health and well being of our family. Pray for renewed strength and to get well soon. Also pray for a protective shield from future illnesses of any sort. Please pray for God to give wisdom to doctors regarding Micah's current illness and how best to care for him. Please pray for Sarah. But as always, pray most of all that through us God would be glorified.

Update - November 18

2008-11-18T09:04:00.002-05:00

Sarah just returned with Isaac, Ethan and Micah from a few days in Virginia. It was a good time for them being able to visit family and get-a-way. They might have stayed longer except Micah's liver numbers have been elevated for the last 10 to 14 days and Micah is returning to Duke for some blood tests today to see what the latest results say.

Doctors believe it is a rejection episode which should subside with the introduction of the large doses of steroid. There is also communication between Dr. Berman and other pulmonary doctors regarding Micah's lungs and whether to proceed with a lung biopsy at this time. While I doubt that there will be any further discussion today that settles that question or confirms a time to do the procedure.

Please continue to pray for Micah and our family and for doctors to be given the wisdom of God. Micah has been doing fairly well. There have been sicknesses as of late, the elevation of liver enzymes and so forth. Yet even in the midst of it, Micah is making developmental improvement. Though it isn't traditional crawling, Micah has begun to be mobile with what I call the "inch worm crawl." We are so grateful for God's sustaining power and perfect peace in all things.

Show and then Tell

2008-11-01T21:28:00.004-04:00

"Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth" (1 John 3:18).

Some things are worth talking about. But some things need to be talked about. Many of you who have stopped by my blog at this moment to read were looking for an update on Micah. That's worth talking about. Yet there is something I just need to talk about. Bear with me for just a moment, especially if you are not familiar with our student ministry and the students to whom I have the privilege to minister as part of this ministry. I do promise, though, you will be blessed if you read through all the "stuff" I have to write to get to the meat.

At the beginning of September 2007, we launched some aggressive and major changes in our student ministry. Some worked well...others not as well as anticipated. Some were received well...others have been criticized. One change was our Wednesday nights. Reaching Raleigh was launched in place of Wednesday night Bible study. The goal: Reach Raleigh with the love of Jesus Christ.

Last year, in large part, this took place by going to highly populated areas (like a mall) and engaging people in conversation through spiritual questionnaires. This produced a number of great experiences, conversations and even professions of faith. But as is true with most cold turkey conversations like those, there was a good deal of discouragement and disappointing moments. Our numbers for this year were affected, which could be the compilation of the difficulty of those conversations, the busyness of our schedules and the negative statements made by individuals about Reaching Raleigh.

Nevertheless, this September we continued our efforts. We began our first few times of going into Raleigh to share the love of Jesus Christ by seeking to find middle and high school students and hand them an invite card to our worship gathering on Sunday nights. But about three weeks ago, God really impressed upon my heart to move in a different direction. I sum it up in the phrase Show and Then Tell.

For the past two Wednesday nights, our students have been heading into the mall with gift bags (which includes a copy of The Passion of the Christ, The Invitation CD, He Did This Just For You book, a tract and a candy bar). Our students have targeted the store workers. They walk in, introduce themselves and then say, "We want to give you this gift and we want you to know that God loves you."

I've encouraged them to engage individuals in conversation if possible. Ask for prayer needs. See if they have a church home. Inquire about how we can help them. With a gift bag totaling no more than $10.00, you would be amazed at how wide it has opened the door into the lives of individuals there.

The last two weeks hold testimonies too numerous for me to mention. There's the gentleman who received the gift and the later our students saw him in the store reading the evangelistic book by Max Lucado He Did This Just For You. There's the woman whose car had just broke down and she said to the students that she was having a "really bad day." But then she said, "This has made my day. Can I give you a hug?" Or how about the woman whose husband has had a stroke? She is working trying to pay the bills. Taking care of him and trying to make it by are just difficult right now. Her request: A Turkey! She just wanted a food basket if we could provide one.

Then there is Terry. A couple of our students spent 30 to 40 minutes sharing the gospel with him in the store because he took the conversation there. All because these students, front line, courageous, dynamic, Christ-following students, made it a PRIORITY to not just tell people that God loved them, but to SHOW THEM GOD LOVES THEM! The gift isn't a large sum of money. It isn't a huge gift. This gift bag is a small gift which shares about the greatest gift. Yet it is a small gift in the eyes of the world. Oh but I have seen, and heard, and witnessed how such a small gift helps people see, hear, smell, taste, touch and be embraced by the love of Jesus Christ.

Now that is worth writing about. Even more, that is something that needs to be written! Not too long ago I had a parent send me an email telling me how we ought to not do Reaching Raleigh. You know how it is! I was discouraged because I've heard more negative than positive about sharing the love of Jesus Christ through Reaching Raleigh.

The last two weeks have refueled my passion and my commitment to make Wednesdays a mainstay in order that people might know they are loved more than they ever thought was possible. Now the only question is how we're going to continue to fund the gift bags. In two weeks time, we have distributed 100 or more bags. I am praying now for God to provide. Maybe you who have faithfully prayed for Micah and our family would pray for God to provide the needed funds to reach our city with the love of Jesus Christ. I believe our students are going to do it!

And by the way...Micah is doing well. A slight cold right now, but doing well. Each day could hold something new or turn in the oppsoite direction. For now, Praise the Lord for Micah's health!

Out on a Limb

2008-10-22T15:07:00.007-04:00

"When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan" (Proverbs 29:2).

Taking a break from the normal tenor of my blog, I am going to step out on a limb. Let me begin first by telling you what limb that is and why I'm stepping out there.

We are only days away from another election in our country, where we will elect not only a new president, but other governing authorities as well. While I am not writing here to endorse any political candidate, I am writing to endorse the biblical necessity of exercising our responsibility to vote and the necessity to vote in accordance with the truth, values and principles of Scripture.

I do so not because I like picking a fight. I do not do so because I am looking to offend or make anyone angry. The purpose here is not to tell you how to vote because you have been unable to figure it out. Better still, I do not write this because I think I am smarter or wiser than anyone reading this. Here's why: My heart has grown heavy with the individuals claiming to be followers of Jesus Christ, who have expressed their reasons for voting, and yet most often there is no credence given to what the word of God says. As a matter of fact, I recently had an individual, a minister, who stated plainly to me that he understood what God's word said about a particular issue, but was rather choosing to vote based on the health care and economic ideology of his chosen political candidate.

You won't hear (or rather read) my endorsement of Barack Obama or John McCain. I am not writing to try to trash one or build up another. If I were completely honest about it, I would really like to vote for option "C". Just this week an individual asked me if I were voting for Obama or McCain. I said to him, "I'd like to vote for option C." He said, "I didn't think there was one." "You are exactly right," I said.

Neither candidate in this year's presidential election represents me on all the values that I hold significant and dear. I don't think either completely rest upon the biblical framework when it comes to some keys issues. And for heaven's sake, it is about time Christians understand that God is not a Republican or Democrat. For that matter, I don't know WWJV (Who Would Jesus Vote). What I do know is that if Scripture is the unveiling of God, His character, His story and His will to humankind, and if it is the absolute truth and standard by which we are to live (and I believe it is all these things), then there are some clear things I must be thinking about now, when I am walking in to cast my vote and when I cast that vote.

Solomon, with wisdom filling him so full it oozed out all around him, wrote "When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan." No leader is perfect. No senator, representative, governor or president. But there is a difference in being imperfect and being intentionally sinful and wicked. When Moses was growing weary in leading the people and hearing every complaint, his wise father-in-law Jethro gave him good, sound advice. He told Moses to choose, "men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain" to oversee and lead over smaller groups.

I want to vote my values. I want to vote not based on economic gain, health care, national security, pork spending or any of those items. Those are important. Those items do matter. But for me, they are insignificant when it comes to solid, biblical teachings that relate to morality, life, sacred institutions such as marriage and so forth. Maybe one plan for health care is better than another. But both pale in comparison to a decision to change God's definition of marriage or whether an unborn child with no voice will be killed.

I realized both of these are sensitive and polarizing issues. Yet I cannot waiver on them though the waves of culture seem to grow increasingly larger, when the word of God stands eternally secure. If I boil it all down when it comes to this election year, it somewhat goes like this.

I have the right as an American to vote. As a Christian, I have a responsibility to vote to insure that leaders who fear God and continue to lead the United States of America to hold to the moral principles of God's word are placed in office. Now a parent of three, I have three reasons to vote. I want my children and my grandchildren to inherit a country where Truth and morality did not fall to the wayside because my vote was based on my bank account and not on Scripture. My vote should be a vote of faith--believing the vote I cast is the one by which God would be most pleased and glorified. To vote based on anything else, means I voted for me. To cast a vote that is not rooted in faith in Jesus Christ, is to dishonor God (Romans 14:23).

He may or may not be right, but Richard Land, the president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, wrote, "Ultimately, our loyalty belongs not to any political party or candidate but to God Almighty. And when the time comes, I believe God may ask each of us about how we voted and why."

I pray as we enter these final days that you will do your homework and vote your values. And on November 5, regardless of the outcome of the election, I would encourage you to "Pray...for kings and all others who are in authority, so that we can live in peace and quietness, in godliness and dignity" (1 Timothy 2:2).

The Calm and the Storm

2008-10-15T13:35:00.002-04:00

"The LORD hurled a great wind on the sea and there was a great storm on the sea so that the ship was about to break up" (Jonah 1:4).

I have recently been studying and preaching through the Book of Jonah. It has been about six years since I have done so. Jonah may be my favorite Old Testament book. There's just so much in the book. Studying and preaching through it again has reminded me Scripture is alive and always relevant. I have learned so much reading, studying and preaching through it for a second time.

As I was preparing last week, I was reading a commentary on Jonah by James Boice. There was one incredible statement he made that resounded with me. He wrote, "The Lord who can calm the troubled waters of your life is the same Lord who can stir them up to a great frenzy." He was referencing the contrast between Jonah 1:4 and Matthew 8:26-27. For with Jonah, the disobedient, runaway prophet, Scripture teaches that God literally hurled a storm upon the sea to prevent him from continuing his plan of running from God's presence. The storm served as God's agent to prevent Jonah from running any further away for that which God had called him to do. But a different scene takes place in Matthew's account of the life of Jesus Christ.

There in Matthew chapter eight, Jesus is in the boat with His disciples heading to the other side. Like Jonah, Jesus had gone below and fallen fast asleep. Just like in Jonah, a storm came upon the sea. In both instances, the boat was endangered and the sailors, experienced seamen, feared for their lives. While the specific cause of the storm may differ, there was still a major storm. And in the latter situation, God's power was seen differently. James Boice points this out in his statement. God is the One who is able to stir up or calm down the waters of the sea. He is also the One who can stir up or calm down the waters of our lives.

As I read those words in my study of God's word, I was deeply encouraged. Lately I've felt as though the waters have been somewhat stirred to a frenzy. While I believe it isn't a result of my disobedience (as was the issue with Jonah), nonetheless the waters have seemed turbulent. Being reminded that the God who stirred them up in an effort to bring Jonah back to Himself is also able to calm them with a simple, "Peace, be still," reassured and comforted my heart. I believe God once again spoke to me by His word, for which I am always grateful.

The turbulent waters seem a bit calmer at this moment. Micah did come home Monday afternoon. Yesterday, we were able to celebrate Ethan's 3rd birthday, but only after Micah took a trip to Duke last evening because his central line (yes, once again) got a hole in it. It was able to be repaired and he, Sarah and Sarah's mom arrived back home around 8:00 PM when we finally celebrated, officially, Ethan's birthday.

Micah seems to be feeling much better. He continues to get three separate antibiotics (2 by IV and 1 in the form of ear drops). We are not certain as to what the plan may be regarding the lung biopsy. For now it has just been postponed indefinitely.

Thank you for praying for Micah and our family. May God richly bless you for your incredible love for us and prayers on our behalf.

Today's Update

2008-10-13T13:06:00.003-04:00

After being admitted to the hospital Saturday night, Micah has been receiving antibiotics to treat the mastoiditis. Doctors ruled out the need for surgery to drain the infection from the mastoid bone. Micah will be coming home today and continue IV antibiotics at home.

The lung biopsy that had been scheduled for today was postponed. We are not certain at this time when it will be rescheduled. Please continue to pray for Micah's healing, health and pending surgical procedure. Also, if you would pray for doctors to have wisdom and for God to continue to be displayed from our lives as we walk hospital hallways, engage in conversation, interact with doctors and patients and families, and as we continue to run this marathon race.

There You Are

2008-10-12T08:43:00.004-04:00

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there" (Psalm 139:7-8).

This passage is often used to warn individuals who choose the path of disobedience of the impossibility of running away from God. While this is true and a proper application, I am not sure that was the immediate thought of the psalmist. The point, however, is precisely accurate: God is everywhere! Furthermore, He is present when we are lifted high to the heavens or brought low, to the very depths of Sheol. Matthew Henry writes, "In the most distant corners of the world, in heaven, or in hell, I cannot go out of thy reach."

That we cannot go to a place--a physical place, emotional place, mental place--where God is not present provides great comfort and encouragement. This became so real for me when I compare two days in our family from this past week. Friday and Saturday of this week, back to back days, were like opposites. On Friday, Micah was probably the best he's been in months. He was fever-free, smiling, laughing and even ate baby food. I know, we give thanks to God for him eating baby food. It is a big deal for him. And while I am guilty of not giving thanks and praise in the moment, on Friday when we ascended to the heavens, or to the mountain top, the presence of God was there.

Then came Saturday (yesterday). Saturday was a not so good day. In our house, we expect that these days. So often people will ask me how Micah is doing. I answer in the present. However, I believe individuals often misunderstand how day-to-day it really is for him and us. Friday was incredible; Saturday was not. Micah woke up during the night with another high fever. When he got up Saturday morning, he continued to run a high fever. Just behind his left ear, it looked red and swollen. This progressively worsened and eventually made his ear stick out. So we took that familiar trip that is more familiar to us than we'd like to even discuss.

Doctors believe Micah to have mastoiditis. In short, an ear infection moves to the mastoid bone just behind the ear. In most cases, this can be treated with antibiotics. In some cases, surgery is required to drain the infection from the mastoid bone. At this point as it concerns Micah, the doctors believe the antibiotics should sufficiently work to clear it. However, nothing is so straight forward especially for an immune-compromised individual.

All of this has occurred as we waited for Monday morning and the lung biopsy. Because the last bronchoscopy did not produce clear answers as to the months long issue related to Micah's lungs, Dr. Berman decided it best to press forward with the lung biopsy to get tissue to test. However, in light of the infection, the biopsy which was supposed to be Monday morning will be rescheduled.

So this is where we are on this day, October 12. It has been hard seeing him so healthy on Friday and so lethargic, uncomfortable and in pain on Saturday. We ascended high on Friday and low on Saturday. But we did find that the Lord was present in both places. Sometimes the only thing you may find in those moments is God's presence. Yet this is the greatest need of every hour of every day.

I Carried You

2008-10-05T21:15:00.000-04:00

"...I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself" (Exodus 19:4).

If we could see what God sees, how many days would we see that He carried us? I wonder how many days He carried us and we failed to even recognize it. Here in Exodus, God reminds His people of what He did in Egypt. It was His great power that was demonstrated and His work to set them free. And as they came through that difficult enslavement and traveled away from Egypt, God reminds them of how He carried them on eagles' wings and brought them to Himself. What a beautiful picture...what a beautiful reminder.

You've likely read the poem Footprints in the Sand. In that poem, the child of God notices that there are times along his or her journey where only one set of footprints appear, not two. Immediately the child of God accuses God of forsaking him. Why did you leave me? Yet God responds with love and patience that it was in those times, when only one set of footprints appear, He carried her. So many adversities come our way. So many valleys attend our way. The way grows difficult and the climb is uphill. Yet we are carried by God. And why should that surprise us? Why should we think Him unable? After all, He carried the cross and all its weight of sin and death, surely He can carry us!

When each new day can bring a different set of circumstances, I've known and know the heart-level struggle. One day is lived on the mountain peak only to wake up the next morning to find yourself standing in the valley straining to see that peak. I'm still learning that not only is being a follower of Jesus Christ a marathon and not a sprint, but the delicate journey of Micah's health is the same. Thankfully, when my legs grow weary and my heart wants to grow faint, there is one whose arms are able, whose strength prevails and who carries me to Himself. He carries me to Himself for there I find rest.

Micah is currently in the hospital. He was hospitalized on Friday, October 3 after having a fever daily for about three weeks. It progressively became more frequent and higher. On Friday it was pushing 104 and above. There are no clear answers at this point as to why the fever or what to do about it. He is receiving an antibiotic and undergoing testing. Friday he had a CT Scan and tomorrow he will have another bronchoscopy. If the bronchoscopy doesn't have a clear result, the next step will be to remove some tissue from his lungs to test.

The CT Scan showed a spot on his lung and a spot on his spleen. Radiology believes these spots to be more infectious like than tumor like. However, there is no explanation for what these spots are and the treatment needed. Ever since May he's had difficulty with his lungs. Whatever the problem, it does not seem to be new; just not detected or known yet.

This cycle of moving forward to only have the shepherd's hook pull you back grows tiring. Having issues arise that have no answers or no easy answers is hard. But the promise of God remains: "I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself."

Whoa!

2008-09-13T23:00:00.000-04:00

A lot has transpired this past week that has made me inwardly or outwardly say, "Whoa!" To start with, the number of individuals who came to celebrate with us last Sunday night for the one year anniversary of Micah's liver transplant made me say a big "Whoa!" Thank you to each of you who attended and celebrated the greatness of God with us. As best we can count, there were approximately 300 in attendance.

Most who were present last Sunday night are aware that Micah had not been feeling all that well. He's actually been treated for pneumonia and an infection over the past three weeks. On Sunday night, Micah was about three days into his medication for the infection. However, when we arrived home Sunday night, we received a phone call stating that the infection he had was resistant to the antibiotic he was taking. Then came the punch. We were then informed that he needed to come to the emergency room for the night to receive a new medicine until they could get the home infusion group to deliver the new medicine to our house. Can you say "Whoa!"?

So Micah and I loaded up to head to Duke. We arrived around 11:30 PM on Sunday night. You know how emergency rooms are and the Duke Emergency Department is no different. We love Duke. Don't get me wrong. But if I never have to go to the Emergency Department again, you won't see any tears.

As Micah and I traveled to the emergency room, though, I was on the phone with Priceline.com, US Airways, Delta, and then back to US Airways. See, Sarah and I were scheduled to attend a StudentLIFE Refuge Conference in Birmingham, AL Monday and Tuesday. We were scheduled, tickets in hand, to fly out Monday morning at 9:50 AM. Knowing that was probably not going to happen at that time, we were trying to change our flight time. In short, to change our departing flight, it was going to cost a minimum of $512.00 with the change penalty and difference of the new ticket. Another "Whoa."

At that point, I was content to lose what we had already paid instead of paying 1 1/2 times what what we had already paid on top of what we had already paid. So I figured that was dead.

The night came and went. The doctors came by and decided to discharge us. We left the hospital around 10:00 AM. On the way home, I met Sarah, my dad and Sarah's mom. My dad drove Sarah and I to the airport while Sarah's mom took Micah to our house. We went to see if the actual Delta ticket counter might prove to be better help to us. We arrived there, explained the situation and I even provided a "doctor's excuse." I joked with the ticket counter worker that I felt like I was at the Principal's Office. To condense the story, he told us that we could change to a later departure flight for $50.00 per ticket if the seats were available. I jumped at that if they were available. After all, $100.00 is much better than $500.00+. Then he found us a flight. But when he handed us the new boarding passes and itinerary, he said, "We're not going to charge you." "Whoa!" Thank you God.

I'd have to admit at this point that I had serious questions as to whether we were even supposed to go to this Refuge Conference. Isn't it amazing how when things are difficult we immediately jump in our thinking to question whether we should or should not do whatever it is? How come we rarely do that when things are so easy? Hmmm... Maybe Jonah should have stopped when he found things so easy to go away from the presence of the Lord. And good thing Joshua didn't change course when things were difficult when the people of God came up against Jericho, the mighty fortified city.

We did arrive in Birmingham, got our rental car and made our way to the motel. We got to the motel with just enough time to turn around, make it to the first session and were only 10 minutes late. My head is spinning at this point. It doesn't even seem possible I have left North Carolina. Another moment where I thought to myself....I'll spare saying this time!

15 minutes. It didn't take more than 15 minutes at the Refuge Conference for me to know, without a doubt, I was supposed to be there. God had purposed for me to be there. I could be long and drawn out explaining that point. But let me see if I can make it pithy, if you really have any interest to know.

In route to Birmingham, I picked up a book in the airport that I have hear several individuals speak about having ready. The Shack. I won't give it away. But one key theme in the book is the main character's struggle with his past and how he's missed accurately understanding who God is and how much God loves him. I had begun reading this on our journey to Refuge.

Then we arrived at the conference. During the opening time of worship through music, the emphasis upon God's love for us and His demonstration of His love for us continued. As if God thought my head were too thick to get the message, when God's word was opened and taught...you guessed it! The grace of God that led Him to make Christ our sin that we might be the righteousness of God was the thrust. I needed the reminded of God's love and forgiveness of sin. I needed to know that even though there is sin in my past (sin he has forgiven), He loves me. Even though there is great hurt in my life from the past, He can work through it, even though he did not purpose it. With some hurts, I have struggled for years...and I mean years. Some sin goes back over the same number of years. And I know it is forgiven. And I know, mentally, God loves me. But practically, we can live so contrary. And losing sight of God's love creates a bitterness and sharpness in every area of our life and with others around us.

So there we were in Birmingham, AL and I knew it was where God had purposed for us to be in spite of all that it had taken to get there. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

It's been quite a week. But that's not where it ends.

Since May Micah has had difficulty with a lung condition. It is like he has congestion all the time. Nothing has cleared it up. There are no answers at this moment. Lately it has caused more difficulty for him. So this Monday, doctors are going to perform a procedure to extract some fluid from his lungs to test. Hopefully this will produce some answers and clarity in how to correct or treat what is occurring. It is supposed to be just a day procedure. We hope that turns out to be accurate.

With all that said...and I know it is a long blog...please continue to pray for Micah especially this Monday. Pray this week is calmer than last week. Pray for continual strength and endurance. We appreciate you.

Our Story - You're Invited!

2008-08-24T22:29:00.005-04:00

September 7 will mark the one year anniversary of Micah's liver transplant. To celebrate, we're throwing a party. And if you are reading this, then you are invited!

Sarah and I desire to celebrate God's grace, goodness and glory in the life of Micah and our entire family each year on this date. We want to share our story. Not because our story is about how great we are, but because our story is one of a multitude of stories from individuals that displays God's greatness.

Therefore, on Sunday evening, September 7, we will celebrate the greatness of God we have experienced over the course of the last year. We want Our Story to tell the greatness of Our God.

If you are able to attend, please drop us an email. You can email us at js_buchanan@bellsouth.net. Again, all are welcome. The details of the celebration are listed below.

When: September 7, 2008

Where: Bay Leaf Baptist Church (Family Life Center)
12200 Bayleaf Church Road
Raleigh, NC 27614

Time: 6:00 to 8:00 PM

We certainly hope you will join us in this night of celebration.

The Streak Continues

2008-08-16T23:50:00.001-04:00

Friday morning I was at work when Sarah called. Micah had another fever. There are two kinds of fever. The "Not so bad - We can take some Tylenol and wait" fever and the "Big Bad Ugly - Gotta go to Duke" fever. Micah hit the second one unfortunately. With that said, Micah was able to come home on Friday after getting some labs done, a chest x-ray and being examined by Dr. Berman. So the streak continues. We are currently enjoying the longest run of being home without having any hospitalizations.

They did start Micah on one oral antibiotic and one antibiotic by his central line. The chest x-ray from Friday showed more consolidation of stuff in Micah's lungs. So while it isn't completely certain what the nature of his ailment is, there is speculation that Micah may have either a virus or some type of pneumonia.

He seems to be feeling some better today, but not quite himself. He will go back on Monday morning to have various labs done again and to see his progress with whatever he's battling.

At this moment, we are just grateful he's still home and doing well. Hopefully his body will fight off whatever it is or the medicines he is taking will knock it out.

But the streak continues...Praise the Lord!

Could I Please Explain

2008-07-22T21:30:00.000-04:00

"But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22).

Just this past Friday night, I returned from a mission trip in the San Francisco Bay area in California. The stories of how God worked and moved are too numerous to probably share. Our team, 20 students and 5 adults, did an amazing job as they were partnered with church planters in the SF Bay area.

Trips like this grow you in numerous ways. For our team, we had some unique growing experiences that stemmed from our time interacting with other student ministries and churches who had gathered to participate in the same mission trip with us. While I HOPE and PRAY that each of my students learned great truths from these situations, I for one was challenged.

Without giving too many details or sharing names, I want to share one situation that arose. A few of our students were gathered outside one of the buildings of the church in which we were staying. One of them had a pen that looked like a cigarette. Now we could debate whether it was wise to have it in the first place, but we won't because we're just dealing with the facts. So as they stood outside the building with it, I am guessing that they were playing as though it were real. A few students from another church believed them to be really smoking a cigarette. After they told their leader, their leader told the project coordinator and the project coordinator confronted me.

Believing that behavior to be out of character for my students, I defended them and then stated I would inquire. That I did. And so I found out that this pen existed. I share that not to publicly criticize my students. Instead, I share it because it was a teaching moment so many of us need.

I wondered to myself how many times I had engaged in real or unreal behavior that was or gave the appearance of evil to others. And just how many times did they make conclusions and I never had the opportunity to clarify. I never had the chance to explain. Had it not been that the other students went to their leader, my students may have always, at least in the hearts and minds of the others, been engaging in questionable behavior.

In addressing this issue with my students, I referenced the above verse. After all, we are suppose to run from every appearance or form of evil. This means we must take responsibility for our actions. Though others shouldn't quickly assume or judge, I am guilty if I give the appearance or evidence of sinful or shady living. This made me introspectively review my own life. I asked myself, "Am I living a life that is holy, blameless and beyond reproach?" Sadly, I couldn't answer with resounding affirmation in regard to every area of my life.

Yet there was something else that stemmed out of this and even bled over into other areas. I, along with some of my students, were faced with our tendency to want to pass responsibility to others. We like taking responsibility when it suits us or makes us look good. We dislike taking responsibility when it infringes upon us or puts us in a bad light. It is so easy to start pointing at others, accusing them or saying it is their fault. It is so easy to say that they are just as guilty if not more. The simple fact is that even if they are as guilty if not more, we ourselves are still guilty and must take responsibility.

And so once again I had to look to my own life. I can be guilty of trying to "weed someone else's garden" while my is almost overgrown. I asked myself whether or not I accepted responsibility, good or bad, when it was mine to bear.

I guess when it all boils down, I was convicted from God's word and my experiences. For having been reading in Colossians, Paul tells us that we were once engaged in evil deeds but we are now reconciled to God through Jesus to live holy, blameless and above reproach. When I allow Jesus Christ to live through me and I take responsibility how I live, this will certainly happen. In so doing, I will abstain from every appearance of evil.

Now there is a lot more to talk about from San Francisco and I will likely spend a few days blogging about it in the days to come. But God's inward work on my life was so much so that I felt compelled to share.

Micah has been a little under the weather lately. He has had a cold and has been throwing up some over the past couple days. He returns to Duke tomorrow for another appointment to check labs and so forth. We're hoping he stays well so we can possibly get away for a few days in the near future for a family vacation. He has done well over the last few weeks as Sarah has been able to travel to Virginia to see her parents and family and to Tennessee to see my parents and family while I have been going a little bit of everywhere.

Please continue to pray for Micah's strength and health. Please pray he beats this cold and whatever else he may be fighting. When he is throwing up, we fear dehydration and hospitalization. We give thanks to the Lord for Micah's last month of being home without any hospital stays. Isaac and Ethan are continuing to do well as you can see from the new pictures added. And as always, thank you for praying and remembering our family before the Father!

Comfort

2008-07-11T22:37:00.002-04:00

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3).

In this world, you will have trouble. Those are sobering words for Jesus Christ to share with His disciples. Those are sobering words He shares with us. After all, who really likes trouble? Most people avoid it and have their own coping mechanisms to deal with it. But what is amazing is that the God who promises His followers that they will experience trouble in this world is the same God of mercy and God of all comfort.

When circumstances and situations seem to be volatile and lack peace, there is a peace that belongs to those who are His because he is the God of comfort. He comforts our emotions when we hurt. He comforts are bodies when they are broken. He comforts our minds when they are strained and perplexed. He comforts our soul when the enemy is prowling and hurling his attacks. But whatever the situation, God gives comfort. And certainly there are times in this world when there is peace both in the world and in God. But to Him we give the honor and glory for it all is from and by His hand.

These last two weeks have been a great comfort from the Lord. After Micah's week long hospital stay in mid-June, he has been well. Doctor's visits have been positive. Lab results have been as they should be. Fluid on his abdomen has moved off and remained off for the large part. He's been sitting up some. His disposition has been the best since he came home right after transplant. While he currently is battling a cold and congestion, we are so thankful for the Lord's comfort of Micah's body and our whole family for the few weeks of relative peace and quiet.

Micah's good health allowed Sarah to travel with the boys to see family about two weeks ago while I was on a mission trip in Baltimore, MD. Micah did extremely well, as did Isaac and Ethan. And for Sarah it was a great refreshing time. No hospital visits. No doctor's appointments. No great concern for Micah's health. A time to spend with family in a fairly normal setting.

We celebrated Isaac's fourth birthday while there. It's hard to believe, but he's growing up. These past two weeks have been encouraging as we see each of our boys growing and developing.

Micah will return to Duke for a doctor's appointment at the end of this coming week. As you pray for us, please pray a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving for what the Lord has and is doing and the comfort and mercy He gives and has given to us. Also, please continue to pray for Micah's continued health and our entire family's continued health. As always, thank you for praying!

Shall We

2008-06-21T16:30:00.001-04:00

"Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" (Job 2:10).

When life is, by our definition, good, we typically respond in two ways. Either we forget God has allowed for a season of peace and goodness, therefore having no gratitude and giving no thanks to God, or we remember that "every good and perfect gift is from above" from God. When life is, by our definition, bad, we typically respond in two ways as well. Either we grow cold and angry toward God for allowing such calamity or hardship, or we give thanks to God, "counting it all joy when we encounter various tests and trials" because we know they lead us to spiritual maturity.

When Job was stricken with hardship, he had a choice to make. He lost his children, his possessions and eventually his health. When the dust had settled, we also find that he had lost a supportive wife. She encouraged her husband, the ever-devoted follower of God, to simply curse God and die. But Job's response is probing and convicting. He asked, "Shall we accept good from God but not adversity?" Certainly we all are guilty of this. Things go well so God is swell. Things get sad and God is bad.

Shall we be so superficial and immature? Shall we gladly receive the good and then gripe, bellyache and complain when God allows challenges to come our way to grow us up, grow us strong and to grow us to be like Him? It's so easy to raise our hands and worship God when things are good (though many times we fail to do so thinking we have no need of God). But Job, regardless of all the bad news and bad days he had experienced, refused to allow His response to God be any different in the bad times, when all was lost, as his response had been during the good days, when God had blessed him immensely.

I was reading the Book of Job in the last week. Over the past 4 weeks or so, Micah has been home and doing well (in large part). I gladly accepted and welcomed the good that God had brought. However, on Monday of this past week, I left home just before 7:00 AM to go with some of our students for our summer camp in Hilton Head, SC. Sarah departed the house at about 9:00 AM to take Micah for a check-up at Duke. Little did we realize that both of us would spend the entire week away from home.

While we knew there were some issues going on with Micah, we didn't quite expect a week long stay in the hospital. And I struggled with being away and Micah and Sarah being in the hospital. I almost became angry that after such a good span of being home and doing quite well that Micah was back at Duke. While I know it is to be expected, seeing progress obliterated in moments, because of sickness and hospitalizations, that took weeks to develop frustrated me. I was frustrated that we were going to regress again. Then this passage I had recently read came to mind. (You know, the Lord has a great way of helping us recall His word at very significant and needed times.) I was reminded that my response to God should be the same regardless of time or trouble. Should I accept only the good He gives?

When Micah arrived on Monday at Duke, the initial concern and problem was Micah's returning fever of about 104 degrees. This proved to be the result of an infection in Micah's central line. Yet there are other issues at play for which doctors aren't certain as to the cause or if there is a problem. Micah had a CT Scan on Thursday and then an endoscopy on Friday. The results of these tests and biopsies (of some samples collected from his bowels during the endoscopy) have not shown any problems. Mainly, the doctors are seeking to address the infection and the fluid that has been collecting and enlarging his abdomen.

In spite of it all, Micah is doing pretty good. Of course, when the fevers strike, he feels pretty rotten. Nevertheless, he is probably the happiest he's been in quite a long time. He and Sarah arrived home about an hour after I arrived home on Friday. He is able to sit up by himself occasionally. As a matter of fact, even today when we were running errands and ate out, it was the first time Micah has ever been able to sit in a high chair at the table with us. I was so grateful for such a small (yet HUGE) thing.

I know several of you have been faithfully checking here for a recent update. When everyone is home, it seems time gets away so easily and I am so busy that I fail to write an entry. For some of you, news that Micah was hospitalized this past week may be new for you. I am sorry that I did not have an opportunity to update while gone. I did not take my computer with me. To those of you who knew and prayed, thank you so much.

Micah will return on Monday for a check up. I'll do my best to update at the first of the week.

Thank you!

What's New?

2008-06-05T17:57:00.000-04:00

Micah returned to Duke on Tuesday for a checkup. Based on his labs the previous Friday, we were anticipating that he would receive a blood transfusion. When his labs were done on Tuesday morning, his blood levels had risen and he did not need a transfusion. His hematocrit and hemoglobin are still hovering kind of low, but not at the point of needing the transfusion. Hopefully they will continue to trend upwards and he will not need the transfusions so frequently or at all. Micah also had an ultrasound done on his liver to see how his bile duct looked. Everything looked good. So now the plan is for Dr. Suhoki to go in through vascular radiology to see if the duct is actually opened on its own, or if the stint alone is keeping it open. If the duct is opened completely independent of the stint, he plans to remove the stint and the bile drain. The exact date for this to take place is not yet set, but it should be next week.

Micah is doing very well. He seems to feel the best he has felt since last fall, shortly after his transplant. It is such an encouragement to our hearts to see him smiling and laughing all the time.

This morning we awoke to find that Micah's biliary drain tube had come unstitched from his skin and he had pulled it about six to eight inches out (though some remained inside of him). We called Patti, Dr. Berman's faithful nurse, who contacted Dr. Suhoki. In the end, Patti came by our house (yes, by our house and we paid her with a bag of chicken! just kidding) and removed the drain tube.

Micah did have a fever this afternoon and will start antibiotics at home today. We're not certain the reason for the fever, but we are glad that at least for now it doesn't demand that we go to Duke and start a new hospitilization.

Thank you for your continual prayers. Thank you for bearing with me as I have been delayed in updating the site.

Update a Little Late

2008-05-21T15:47:00.002-04:00

This update comes a little late. Micah has been home for several days now and is doing good. He had a blood transfusion this past Monday which has certainly made his color improve. His liver enzyme levels are back in normal range and we continue to await the clamping off of the biliary drain.

The blood clot is still present and, barring the miraculous work of God, will persist. With that present, fluid collection in the abdomen has continued and this is being managed through medicines which cause the body to mobilize that fluid out of the body.

Isaac and Ethan are doing fairly well. They continue to make me laugh. Last night, Isaac and Ethan were in bed and I had gone downstairs. Ethan came out into the hallway calling for me. After I went back upstairs, picked him up and took him back into his room to put him in his bed, Isaac asked me why I went downstairs. I explained I had gone down to take some clothes, trash, etc. He then asked, "But what did you get in the recliner for?" To which I stated that I was sitting down for a minute to see if there was any news on television.

Isaac said, "There's no news on. It was one right before I went to bed. It's suppose to be a little warmer tomorrow, daddy."

Ethan seems to talk more each day. He's a constant source of words and communication. Of course, nothing consumes his focus and affection any more than whatever type of ball you can give him or show him. Soccer ball...basketball...football...baseball..golf ball.

Please continue to pray the Lord will keep all members of the family healthy AND out of the hospital. And give praise the Lord for His mercy and goodness and grace that daily sustains us

Family Feud

2008-05-12T14:40:00.000-04:00

"Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering" (Matthew 5:23-24).

Yesterday, as with most Sundays, I gathered with other believers in Jesus Christ to worship the Lord, learn more of who He is and to hopefully encourage others. Yesterday I also had the humbling experience of being clearly confronted with this teaching by my Lord and Savior.

This past Saturday I was spending time with Isaac and Ethan. We were doing all sorts of things from errands to playing. As with all children, Isaac and Ethan were having a difficult time obeying dad's words. I had already corrected and instructed them a few times. Then Isaac and Ethan did something else. You, if you are a parent, know how it is. In hindsight it wasn't a huge deal. But the culmination of the little things that raised your frustration level (coupled with whatever frustrating situations or circumstances from other areas of your life that continue to pile on top of you) lead you to snap harshly. Isaac caught the brunt of it and not Ethan. Truthfully, I don't even think Isaac knew what he did was wrong. He may have even though he was helping.

I snapped. My voice was inflected. My tone was unkind. My words more scathing than soothing. When I spoke, Isaac did listen. But he listened in fear. Not a reverent fear, but a scared fear. His facial expression spoke volumes. He looked scared, shocked and crushed all in the same look. As any upset parent may, I didn't even pay much attention because I was "upset."

Yesterday, however, I came to lay my offering of worship on the altar before the Lord. Instead of seeing the beauty of my worship of the Magnificent One placed clearly on the altar, in my mind's eye I saw Isaac's face--scared, shocked and crushed. And what didn't matter in that moment was whether Isaac was right or wrong in what he did. What mattered was how I responded to him. I often tell students (and adults) that I try to live in such a way that I do what is right regardless of what others do. Perfect? No way. Always do what is right? Give me a break.

In that moment as I stood with God reminding me of how I had responded to Isaac, I was crushed. I want my children to reverently and respectfully view me, but not fear me because they suspect severe wrath will be unleashed at a blink of the eye.

It is humbling to go to your not quite four year old to seek forgiveness. For me, it was also needful and uplifting. It was short, but sweet. I actually think Isaac thought he was in trouble. I sat him on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of him on the floor. I explained that the day before I had spoken unkind words to him and was wrong. And then I asked Isaac if he would forgive me.

We're sinful people who from time to time do sinful and hurtful things to one another. Sometimes it was intentional as we acted out in the sinful flesh. At other times it is unintentional but the harm and hurt is nonetheless real. Unfortunately, as the family of God, we can often fail to address these situations biblically and a family feud ensues. The Bible is clear on this issue.

The first step, whether you were offended or you where the offender, is to go to the other person alone to make things right. If this is successful in restoring peace and harmony, the successive steps are never needed. In the world in which we live today where people appear to look more for opportunities to get offended than to be obliged, some individuals simply thrive on getting and being upset. As the family of the Living God, brothers and sisters united under the common bond and blood of Jesus Christ, may we cease to do battle with one another as those who are outside of faith in Jesus Christ, and begin to follow the pattern in Scripture to address situations quickly, biblically, lovingly and with peace, harmony and reconciliation as the goal.

If there is something between you and someone else, there is one simple word to follow: GO!

Micah continues to make his address Duke University Medical Center in Durham, NC. However, we are hoping that he will be discharged this afternoon. All glory and praise to God! Barring any complications or concerns, this is the current plan as of this writing. There is some concern with his liver numbers as they have elevated in a sharp manner over a short period of time. The doctors are uncertain as to the reason for this recent change as his liver function and levels have been pristine for so long (even through all the recent problems).

Micah's eating has picked up. We are so grateful to see his appetite so he can hopefully regain the weight he lost through his 10 days of little to no nutrition. The blood clot remains with no plans to address it unless it should begin to impose other problems.

We continue to ask for your prayers for Micah and our family. Thank you to the scores of you who have done so over the last year and the last week with great fervency. God is working and has answered in so many ways, so many times. May He be lifted high in all His glory!

He is Our Help

2008-05-04T03:00:00.000-04:00

"Trust in the LORD; He is their help and shield" (Psalm 115:10).

The Bible is replete with individuals who trusted in the Lord. Abraham trusted the Lord so much he was willing to put his own son to death. Rahab trusted God and she and her household were the only ones spared from the destruction that came upon Jericho by God's mighty hand. David trusted God when an overgrown bully some nine feet tall taunted him and all of God's army. Moses trusted the Lord to use him to speak to Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of the grueling slavery they were experienced in Egypt.

The question one might logically ask is why. Why did they trust the Lord? The psalmist answers it clearly. Because the Lord is their help and their shield.

Life brings situations beyond the control and power of the natural man. To say we need help is an understatement. To say we need a shield from the attack of sin and harm this world can bring goes without saying. But the great news for all is that the Lord is trustworthy and He can give the help needed. He helped David defeat Goliath and the Philistines. He gave Rahab victory over sin and false worship of idols. He helped Moses go before Pharaoh and lead the people as God desired and planned. The list could go on and on.

Lord, forgive us for not, even during routine, average days, trusting You and seeking Your help. How often do the days seem so monotonous and simple, run-of-the-mill and boring that we fail to trust Him and seek His help. After all, I've found I need His help not just when the days are bad. I need His help even on good days to remind me to keep Him in mind and His glory my aim. I need His help to accomplish even the most menial tasks. For it is the Lord who gives life, breath and being. I thank God that even during this difficult week, He has been the One we can trust and the help we need.

Micah is, as I write this, still in the PICU on the ventilator. He's had a fairly rough day. When they tried to reposition the breathing tube as they waited to remove him from the ventilator, he got very agitated and his airway constricted. In the process, his heart rate and blood pressure fell significantly. It goes without saying, but an attempt to take him off the ventilator was postponed.

In addition to this, his right upper lobe of his lung collapsed. The doctors are hoping it will open up (re inflate) soon. His bowels are also "sleeping" and enlarged.

I guess the frustration for us has been that nothing that currently is taking place is why we went to the hospital last Monday. There is still some uncertainty as to whether maybe the clot is causing some of the current issues. But in large part, this is not the case.

Unfortunately, several of the problems Micah is experiencing require him to remain on the ventilator. Other problems are occurring because he is on the ventilator. So whenever it was that I previously wrote about a vicious cycle....I stand by that entry.

But we do not live without hope. Hope for today...hope for tomorrow...hope for eternity. We hope because Jesus Christ is our HOPE! While it has been a long, tiring, difficult week, we continue to trust in the Lord who is our Help.

Your Words

2008-05-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

"Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances" (Proverbs 25:11).

April 26 was the one year mark of Micah's first surgery (the Kasai procedure). What a year it has been! The ups and downs; the elation and discouragement; the miracles of God and the perceived silence of God. But it has been over a year now since we learned of Micah's liver disease and began down this road of sickness and surgery, healing and health.

Throughout this past year, there have been so many individuals who have fulfilled the wisdom and truth of Proverbs 25:11 in the heart and lives of our family. Not just Sarah and me. I mean our entire family. Each time a comment is posted on this blog, I read it. There have been many days where the post I read could not have been spoken at a better time, a more perfect moment. While I realize that is the working of a great and gracious God, it is also the prompt obedience of His people to the leading of His Spirit.

Thank you for the timely words. Thank you for your words of encouraging and truth! I certainly appreciate each of you and your words.

This day has held the same for Micah and our family. More waiting and more minutes of uncertainty regarding a plan for proceeding forward. Micah is still on the ventilator. Later this afternoon we were told they would attempt to take him off tomorrow. For now, he remains in the PICU. He is sedated still and intubated.

Some of the difficulty relates back to his ability to breathe on his own; the fluid putting pressure on his lungs; and the fluid/secretions that have been in his lungs. However, we continue to hope and pray for Micah to come off the ventilator tomorrow and begin to make the transition to the 5300 floor and then home (and soon). In the meantime, we wait as patiently as possible. And we watch to see the Lord at work. Thank you for praying!

Unable

2008-05-01T13:00:00.000-04:00

"We were unable to gain access into the portal vein." Those were the words the doctor spoke to Sarah and me on Tuesday evening after another long day of attempting the surgical procedure. It is a reminder that in a world of advancements in technology and medicine there are things which man, in all his wisdom and skill, still cannot do.

I applaud the work of Dr. Suhocki. Over two days he spent nearly 10 hours attempting to gain access into the portal vein to the site of the clot in order to deliver the potent medicine to break it up. I am certain he was frustrated. So were we.

After two days of attempts and failure, the transplant surgeon who performed the liver transplant on Micah was consulted. His recommendation was to stop. Stop attempting. Stop any further procedures. Stop the Heparin. And do not proceed with surgery to try to remove the clot.

Apparently the clot is located in the portal vein inside the liver. Therefore, to surgically seek to get to the clot the surgeons would have to go inside the liver. That's just not the best idea or plan considering the delicacy of Micah's situation. Furthermore, so long as Micah's liver continues to function well, as it is, he can do all right with the portal vein being occluded. His body will likely create what doctors call "collateral vessels" which will form to allow flow to bypass the clotted area.

Regardless of whether Micah can live with the clotted off portal vein or not, it has just been a frustrating kind of week. Certainly it is difficult for us to consider that this is thrown on top of his already disadvantaged physical situation. Yet we also know that Lord can still work and choose to remove the clot to the shock and amazement of everyone...including me who seems to be of little faith this week.

Currently Micah is still in the PICU. Last night they tried to take him off the ventilator but he was having too difficult a time breathing on his own. So they intubated him again and are going to try to take him off again this morning at a slower pace.

Hopefully before the weekend is over, Micah will return home again. Please continue to pray for his strength and health.

On an update note from the previous entry, as of yesterday Hayleigh was doing fair. She was still fighting and holding her own. Please continue to lift her and her family to the Lord.

Try, Try Again

2008-04-29T02:35:00.000-04:00

This update will be fairly brief. Besides the fact that we spent all day at the hospital, it's almost 11:30 PM, I am tired, and tomorrow we will start all over again. I hope you don't mind if I skip some details.

Today Micah was scheduled for a surgical procedure to place a catheter right at the site of the clot in the portal vein. After about 4 hours, the procedure was not finished. It ended up that the doctor tried for 2 hours to get into the portal vein and could not. At that time, he believed it would be dangerous to continue trying for today. There then arose the question as to whether the obstruction of blood flow was related to a blood clot or whether it might be related to the actual mechanics of the vein (i.e., the connection at this site from transplant or possibly that the vein had twisted and caused the occlusion).

A CT Scan was performed that seems to definitively reaffirm that it is in fact a blood clot. Therefore, the decision was made to try again tomorrow. At some time in the morning, possibly between 8:00 and 9:00 AM, Micah will be taken to try this procedure again. Our hope and prayer is that the doctor is able to place the catheter and the medicine breaks up the blood clot with no complications.

In the meantime, Micah is still sedated and intubated. He was resting in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit when Sarah and I left at about 10:00 PM. If you are reading this on Tuesday, we certainly ask for your fervent prayer that the Lord will allow what needs to happen to happen. Please lift up Micah that he will do well and the doctors that God will guide them and give wisdom to them.

I also want to ask for you to pray for a young couple and their daughter whom Sarah and I met today and prayed with a couple different times during the day. Haley is a 10 day old baby girl who was born with heart problems. Surgery was done to try to correct the problems with the valves of her heart. However, tonight, just before we left, Keith and Stephanie were told that their daughter was being put back on the heart and lung machine(s). The surgeon had been called in to do some emergency procedures to hopefully help Haley. But Keith and Stephanie were told Haley had a 50/50 chance. PLEASE pray for them as well.

Thank you for praying. I hope to update tomorrow with good news regarding Micah's procedure.

Tearing Flesh

2008-04-23T02:23:00.000-04:00

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing" (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

The last six months have burned upon my heart a greater desire to do what Paul praises these believers for doing. Take a moment and just listen to conversations around you. Better yet, stop the next time you are talking and think about what you have just said. Chances are, considering the culture and the nature of our speech and interaction with others, you were as guilty as I often am at doing anything but encouraging and building up one another.

Whether the secular workplace or the full-time ministry, this snare dons the pathway of both places. Encouraging words have been replaced with sarcasm and crass words. We often criticize what we call "young people" for speaking so unkindly to one another. They get scolded for being demeaning and derogatory, yet the tree trunk is hanging out of our own eye (and theirs has merely a speck in it). And while we fail to really ponder the truth of this statement, those who come after us typically exhibit behavior patterned after that which was modeled for them.

Out of all the conversations that take place in a given week, I wonder how many of mine (and yours) are truly uplifting, God-glorifying and build the other individual up to be better than they were before they entered the conversation. While often we simply outright tear people down and drive knives into their heart and soul, sarcasm seems to be the main weapon of choice today.

The word sarcasm appeared in the English language in 1579. It comes from the Greek word sarkazo which literally means "to tear flesh." I know I use sarcasm at times when it is really innocent. However, we tend to use it a lot when it isn't so innocent; when we are angry or upset. We use it when we want to exalt ourselves while tearing them down by sarcasm.

I believe everyone, even the hardest of individuals, want the same things: Love, acceptance and to be encouraged. Yet even among followers of Jesus Christ, we fail on a daily basis to love, accept and encourage those around us. The Thessalonians were encouraging and building up. Paul wasn't correcting them; he was praising them. And in doing so encouraging more of the same from them. Maybe you are a Barnabas in this world. You encourage others. I certainly love having those individuals around me. They make me want to be more encouraging to others.

But it seems too many of us are jaded, cynical, hypercritical, super derogatory, majorly demeaning, and filled with sarcasm. I want to be different. As Adrian Rogers once said, "Man has only three problems--sin, sorrow and death." You never know when someone is struggling with either of the three. My fear is that my words would cause them sorrow and pain in addition to whatever else may be taking place in his or her life.

So let's clean up the airwaves. Forget the filthy radio stations or TV channels. Let's begin first with the pollutants spewing forth from our mouths. That in itself will do wonders and cause a watching world to see living proof of a loving God through us!

Micah continues to spend time at home which we love. However, Thursday afternoon at 2:00 PM he will undergo a procedure to try to pinpoint the size of the blood clot and the reason his abdomen continues to enlarge (especially if the clot is shrinking in size as the ultrasound leads us to believe even though it is occurring ever so slowly).

He will spend the night on Thursday for sure. Hopefully he'll return home on Friday. As for the blockage where the bile duct and intestines, Micah continues to have the drain which drains the bile into an external bag. This may be checked on Thursday to see what things look like at that site. But there seem to be no plans at this time to internalize that drain.

Isaac and Ethan are doing well. Ethan returned to the dentist last Thursday concerning his tooth. His tooth is slowly emerging from the gum and should come back into place. It does have a little chip out of it, but at least he'll have the tooth. They both are enjoying their little brother being home. They still mention at various times how they don't want Micah to have to go back to the hospital. Nevertheless, God has faithfully strengthened and sustained both of them and we pray for that to continue.

As far as items for prayer, please pray for Thursday's procedure and that Micah can return home soon. We pray for no complications or issues to arise out of what is done Thursday. As always, we pray that once again God will be exalted and glorified in the way we live, speak and respond in all circumstances.

A Good Report

2008-04-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

"Good news puts fat on the bones" (Proverbs 15:30).

I know there will come a day when the metabolism will change with this body in which I live. But as it is, I am often teased about being skinny. However, if this verse is true in a literal sense, I guess I'll be gaining some weight this week. Now I may not end up being a chunky monkey or anything, but the weight may certainly increase.

Micah was able to (once again) come home on Tuesday night. Today he returned to Duke for a check up and the report was good. Levels were either up or down where they should be.

We continue to give the shots at home to keep his blood thin and hopefully allow the clot to continue to dissipate. As of right now, the bile drain and whether the blockage has opened is a back burner issue. I'm not really sure when we'll start to address this again and potentially close off the drain to see if the bile flows as it should. We continue to pray that just as God has caused the blood clot to shrink, He will also allow for the blockage to be completely gone.

I hope you'll pray specifically for continued good health and good reports. Also, please pray the blood clot is gone soon and the bile blockage is no longer obstructing the flow. But most of all, I would just ask that you give thanks to the Lord for what He has done for us, for you and for others and that you praise Him for always being a God who is worthy of our praise.

Hope to see you soon.

Keep it in Context

2008-04-05T00:42:00.000-04:00

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

Before you stop reading because you think you know what I am going to say, I urge you to read on.

I wish we could just admit, to ourselves and to the world, that we are often terrible students of God's word. You see, good Bible students study God's word to insure he or she is "accurately handling the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15). A good student takes great care to know and understand a verse or passage in its immediate context (the verses which surround it), as well as the context of the book in which it is written. For the Bible, this means understanding the verse or passage in light of the immediate book (for example, Philippians) and interpreting it within the context of the entire book (the Bible).

Yet there are verses thrown around in Christian circles today that have been completely removed from their context. In the New Testament, I believe this one ranks at the top of the list. In the Old Testament, I believe Jeremiah 29:11 would stand alone. I may write the next entry about that verse.

Whether it be adults or students, I frequently hear individuals quote this verse. Sometimes accurately applying it and claiming its promise for a given circumstance, and other times completely missing the mark on what Paul was really saying.

Paul was suffering. He was a prisoner in Rome suffering for his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. To the disappointment of many, he was not preparing to pole vault at 19 feet 8 inches. Nor was he seeking to break 7 cinder blocks with his bare hand. And within the context of what he writes to the Philippians, he sets it up by first stating that he has learned in whatever circumstances of life to be content.

He had been in want. He had lived with an abundance. But in all things he had learned contentment. And he had learned that regardless the circumstances of life, hard or easy, plenty or want, he could do all things through Christ who gave him the strength to persevere.

Too often this verse becomes a mantra for individuals to stamp God's approval upon their actions which He may or may not truly give approval. Or it could be used, or should I say misused, to claim God's blessing and strength for an act or activity that Jesus Christ may or may not really have great concern.

I know God knows everything. He knows who will win the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. But does it really rank up there as a priority for God? If the Memphis Tigers ripped the Tarheels to shreds, will God go into depression? Is this a major concern for the Trinity? I argue a clear NO! But you possibly could hear believers using Philippians 4:13 to cheer on their favorite team.

Now on the other hand, what about missions? What about a Christian who knows the heart of God is to see the nations worship Him? That Christian grew up in Rural Retreat, VA and senses a call to go to the Hmong Tribe in China. Worlds will collide...languages stand at opposite ends of the spectrum...customs could be like night and day. And yet he or she claims that whether easy or hard, prosperous or poor, they can do it not by their own strength, but through Christ who gives them strength.

We cannot endure difficulty, hardship, destitution or the roadblocks of life on our own. It is because we are in Christ (John 15) and His strength through us that we are able.

If I could name it and claim it, that I could do all things through Christ who gives me strength, I would have healed Micah, prayed him to health or removed the sicknesses, sorrows or other sufferings. Yet God in His divine sovereignty has chosen this for us. It is for our good and His glory. And I can endure this only because of Jesus Christ.

Paul's words were not a blank check we could carry around to use to gain anything and everything we desired for ourselves. Unfortunately we'll quote this verse when we want to buy a new $75,000 car though our budget looks tighter than a tick on a hound dog, and yet miss Paul's words just prior about contentment.

Maybe you don't see the point of what I'm saying. Maybe you think I'm wrong. Regardless, may we be good students of God's word in order that we never take a passage or verse, rip it from its context and misapply it to what God never intended.

After all, how many people do you know who claim the less ideal promises? "All who live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution" (2 Timothy 3:12). No there's a promise we don't hear too many claiming for themselves.

One Thing I Ask

2008-03-31T17:45:00.000-04:00

"...he prayed earnestly..." (James 5:17).

The men and women in history who devoted themselves to prayer witnessed the incredible power of God. They stand as examples of how God works through prayer only after they stood among their peers living a life of faith and prayer. When James writes about prayer, he speaks about a man of faith and prayer. Elijah prayed earnestly. While James references a specific time and need in the life of Elijah in which he prayed earnestly, I believe this is a characteristic statement concerning the life of Elijah.

So often we think about prayer. We talk about prayer. We may even desire to more fervently pray. Yet little changes in our lives in this area.

Through this blog, I have sought to do multiple things. First, to allow Jesus Christ to be lifted high even through the most difficult of days and circumstances. Second, to share information with those who want to journey, as much as is possible, with our family. Third, to give individuals who are committed to earnestly pray for us the most recent needs (as I know them, yet I don't always know for what or how to pray).

It's for that third reason I write now, though I pray the Lord will be glorified as I share information.

Micah spent 9 days in the hospital coming home this past Saturday afternoon. A joy and a relief to have everyone ONCE AGAIN in the same house and to not have to be in the hospital. However, Micah returned to Duke today for a follow-up and is currently being admitted.

During Micah's hospital stay, his abdomen became distended. The explanation for this remained a mystery. There was no fluid collection that showed up on the ultrasound or x-rays. But even through yesterday and today it remained as large if not larger. Today when Sarah took him to Duke, the ultrasound revealed that the portal vein, the main vein drains blood from the liver is clotted. The explanation for the problem. We praise the Lord for revealing this to the doctors.

The solution is one of two things: Micah goes on a heparin drip for a day or two to hopefully dissolve the clot or the doctors will have to go in to try to open it up. If the first does not work tomorrow or Wednesday, Micah will be scheduled for the surgical procedure. He will then spend three days in the PICU where he will be kept asleep to minimize the risk of bleeding.

I use to say I love riding roller-coasters. Then I began to say I love roller-coasters except when it is through life's circumstances. I'm almost ready to scrap anything with "roller-coaster" in it.

It seems we remain in this cycle. We day up; one day down. And you never know from day to day where you are heading.

So one thing I ask is for you not to talk about praying for us and Micah. But I ask for you, if just for 30 seconds, to PLEASE, PLEASE pray the Lord will remove the clot, allow the blockage of the bile duct to be gone and for Micah to have a plethora of good, healthy days minus the hospitalizations in which he can develop and grow.

On Saturday night as we read the Bible story for the evening and got ready to pray Isaac said, "Momma. I don't want Micah to go back to the hospital." It's hard. It's just hard. And I know God is at work and He will be glorified and He certainly is shaping me. But it's hard.

One thing I ask: Please pray!

My Hope

2008-03-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

"For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth" (Psalm 71:5).

Hope is a great possession to have. Lose it and life seems to have all its energy drained. Forget to hold on to hope and the planet suddenly appears to have all the oxygen evacuated. But cling to hope and the darkest days, the most trying times, the deepest hurts or the greatest fears can be endured.

Yet hope does not spring from just any source. A car will breakdown. A job may end. A relationship with another human could be severed. A dream could be shattered. But hope in the One True God--Maker of the Universe, the One who never changes--never disappoints. He is the anchor of our soul. He is the foundation of our life. He is the life of our very being. He is our HOPE. Dark days, bad days, sad days, troubling days...you name it kind of days cannot extinguish the hope rooted in the love of God, the strength of His character or the power of His mighty hand.

Hope. I once again return to think of my hope when the hospital stay I hoped would be short seems to be not so short. A week may not seem like a huge deal. But from the first of December until now, 10 weeks have been spent in the hospital. Many of those days were uncertain. Uncertain diagnosis. Uncertain treatment. Uncertain future. And to some degree, we've returned to a place of the uncertain and unknown. While we know a few pieces of the puzzle and where they fit at this moment, there are elements that remain a mystery. The Lord knows, as always, but we await the revelation of those details to the doctors.

Micah continues to be fair. He isn't terribly bad off. He isn't kicking and laughing ready to run out of the hospital. He's fair.

I wish I could give you a lot of details. I can't. I simply ask for your continual prayer for Micah and our family.

A Short Stay?

2008-03-23T00:11:00.000-04:00

"Do not be amazed; you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who has been crucified He has risen; He is not here; behold, here is the place where they laid Him" (Mark 16:6).

Tomorrow the Christian community will celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Because of the Resurrection, there is a Living Savior. Because of the Resurrection, we know Jesus is alive and in control. Because of the Resurrection, we have hope. Hope when the world seems too far gone. Hope when circumstances seem too bad off. Hope when all the street signs in your life point you to Hopelessville.

It is the hope that is only found in Jesus Christ that constantly sustains me and lifts my spirit in difficult times. I pray on this Resurrection Day Eve that you know and claim that hope.

On Thursday night, I drove the familiar route to Duke Hospital with Micah in the back seat. Few cars, deafening silence and an achy heart along the way. A fever had spiked. Earlier in the day Micah had been to Duke for have blood tests done. A couple counts, including his white blood cell count, was low. That, coupled with the fever, caused the doctor to instruct us to take him.

Blood cultures and other tests have been done to try to pinpoint why the fever and why he hasn't rebounded from the apparent virus of last week. He seems to be losing electrolytes which the doctor believes are exiting through the bile draining out of his body. Here again we face one of those situations where you remove one problem to create another. But the drain is necessary at this point.

Today Micah received a blood transfusion because his hemoglobin and hematacrit were both very low. He still isn't feeling very well.

Beyond this, there isn't much I can pass along. He's spending his third night at Duke. The word from the doctor is that he won't come home before Monday. I guess we're just trying to hit all the holidays and special days (Christmas, Birthday, Valentines, Easter, etc.).

Please just be praying that Micah's strength and health will turn. The Lord knows exactly what is going on and can at any moment bring the healing needed. We also pray for a short stay and a quick home going.

May you and your family have a wonderful day celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

Sunday is Coming

2008-03-18T12:52:00.000-04:00

"...Christ died for our sins...was buried and raised on the third day according to the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).

That Jesus Christ died is a historical fact. The Bible speaks to the death of Jesus Christ. But so does the historical documents outside the Bible. Jesus died. Better yet, Jesus was murdered.

Yet what the historical documents do not tell is the why of Jesus' death. Certainly there are some which try to explain the reason for His death. Some would say He died a victim of tragic circumstances. Some would say He died because of mistaken identity. Others would argue that Jesus Christ died simply as a result of the fear of others and the religious leaders. However, the Bible gives the why. Plain. Simple. To the point.

In what may be the most succinct description or account of Jesus Christ's death, the Apostle Paul pens these words to the believers who live in Corinth. To them he writes that Jesus died (historical fact) for our sins (biblical fact). It wasn't because Jesus had some fatalistic dream of dying at the ripe "old" age of 33. He died for our sins. But for the reader who knew the Old Testament's teaching, this was no surprise. Hundreds of years earlier Isaiah the prophet said:

"But He was pierced through for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him" (Isaiah 53:5-6).

When Jesus died, He fulfilled this prophecy that He would die for our sin, our iniquity, our transgression. Everything that we had done against God was laid upon Him. He paid for every last sin and then from the cross declared "IT IS FINISHED." Shortly thereafter, Jesus died.

The devil probably threw a party thinking Jesus was finished. The religious leaders exhaled with deep relief saying "I'm glad that's over." The disciples of Jesus scattered about with many of them returning to their former occupations. But Jesus wasn't finished. Sunday is coming.

When Sunday arrived, it would have been no surprise to anyone that the tomb was empty. Jesus Himself in Matthew 12:40 stated that just as Jonah had been three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so He would be three days in the heart of the earth before He emerged...and victorious at that. Sunday came. The women arrived. The tomb was empty. Jesus is ALIVE.

Scores are the numbers of individuals who have sought to discount the resurrection. Every erroneous theory has fallen short. The main reason is that Jesus is alive. The resurrection is essential to Christianity. Remove the resurrection and you remove the hope that it extends to all who believe. Say it doesn't matter and you at once create uncertainty with the believers as to what will become of us if even Jesus Christ was not raised.

Jesus is alive. Sure He died and He died for our sins. But Sunday is coming and that grave was not strong enough to hold the Son of God. Happy Easter!

Last week Micah apparently had a virus. From Tuesday to Thursday he was throwing up and weak. We spent a long time Thursday at Duke for him to get fluids and have his levels checked in order to help keep him hydrated as well as keep him (and us) out of the hospital. Friday was another visit to Duke to check his blood levels again.

His liver levels, on the other hand, look great right now. And they did even last week. He still hasn't rebounded fully yet. His eating of table food is increasing though his formula intake is up and down right now. We continue to pray for him to increase in strength and health.

The doctors are continuing to wait for another few weeks to perform the CT scan to look at the bile duct and the cavity of fluid. At that time, if there is not change, the surgery to repair it will be scheduled.

This past Sunday we had another incident in our household. I guess with three boys you ought to expect there will always be something. Ethan had climbed on the kitchen counter (following his older brother's lead) in order to get a peanut (yes, a peanut). As he reached to grab one out of the bag from the top of the refrigerator, he slipped. And great was his fall. He hit one of this front teeth forcing it back up into his gum. Yesterday we took a trip to the dentist. Ethan did great opening his mouth for the dentist to see. He even sat still in my lap for them to take the x-ray of his teeth. At this point, we are waiting to see if the tooth emerges on its own. This is what we hope for and pray will happen. If it does not, then the dentist will have to extract it.

Apart from all this, today (at least as I departed this morning) is a good and calm day. No blood. No screaming. No emotional breakdowns.

Please pray for Micah's continued health and strength. Please also pray for Ethan that hopefully his tooth will come back down into place. And as always, thank you for praying. And as always, pray that our Great God would be glorified in and through our lives.

It was, is and always will be

2008-03-12T15:40:00.000-04:00

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for all who believe..." (Romans 1:16).

This past weekend was like taking a deep, fresh breath of air. To see the power and work of God so clearly and wonderfully has been refreshing.

This past Friday we had a student ministry event called March Madness. The event included a mechanical bull, bungee run, obstacle course, food and video games. It was all free of charge. We also gave away a Nintendo Wii during the night, along with some other smaller items. The entire purpose of the event was to reach students who might not otherwise be reached.

It is easy to get stuck. Stuck in our programs. Stuck in our church buildings. Stuck spending all our time, money and energy on the 99 while forgetting the 1 lost sheep who is outside the flock. Outside the flock...all alone...in danger. So our goal was to reach students in the Greater Raleigh Area with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

During the evening, we shared the message of salvation. After all, we made everything free so we could then share the greatest FREE gift of all time. It was an interesting night. For one thing, Friday was March 7. It was exactly 6 months to the day of when Micah and I had surgery. What a fitting time to use that as an illustration. The event was free and that in itself was a nice and valuable gift. Giving away a free Nintendo Wii was considered by most a pretty sweet gift and highly valuable. But on September 7, 2007, I gave my son Micah 33% of my liver. I still get asked about it as people marvel at the thought. And as valuable a gift as that might be, it still doesn't compare.

Jesus Christ has given to all the world the greatest gift...and it's FREE. I gave 33% of my liver so my son might continue to have life. Jesus gave His life in order that I might have life.

When students were given the opportunity to respond on Friday, two students made decisions to trust Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. It wasn't me. It wasn't my persuasiveness. It wasn't the lights, the music or the games. It was and is and always will be the power of God through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Add to that the student who on Sunday night at The Gathering came to talk with me about salvation and prayed to trust Jesus as Savior and Lord and I would say it was a great, refreshing and powerful weekend.

Micah is still home. The past couple days he has not seemed to feel as well as the majority of time he's been home. His eating has been down a bit. He certainly doesn't seem to have the flare of a few days ago. But with all the colds and stuff that have been floating around, including the ones in our house, it could be he has picked something up.

We will return tomorrow to Duke for his weekly check-up. They will draw blood to check his levels and to insure everything appears to be going well. Micah still has his bile drain and bag. Sometime in the near future the doctors are going to do another scan to look at the collection of fluid and the site where the bile duct attaches to the intestines to see if there has been any change with the blockage and "communication" between that connection and the fluid cavity.

I know it may not sound "urgent." But I certainly want to ask for your fervent prayer. Seeing Micah not feeling well the past two days has reminded me of his downward spiral back at the end of November. It could be nothing. But certainly we pray the Lord continues to place His hand on Micah, healing him and sustaining his life and health. We pray there would be no need of this likely surgery. And yet, we realize God already knows. He sees perfectly. He has a plan and purpose. To that, we simply say, "Lord, may we glorify you."

No Place Like Home

2008-03-02T01:38:00.000-05:00

"If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also" (John 14:3).

As you can probably guess from the title of this blog, Micah came home! He arrived home on Friday evening at about 5:30 PM. But more on our arrival home and the coming surgery in just a moment.

There's no place like home. Dorothy stood with her feet on the soil of Oz but her heart longing for Kansas. Though just moments before her hopes of returning home seemed dashed when the Wizard of Oz took flight in his hot air balloon without her in it, there was still hope. So she clicked her heals together and repeated the phrase, "There's no place like home."

There's no place like home. I love being home. Multiple times throughout the day today I caught myself being shocked to see Micah in the house. Not only that, we were all here. Sarah was here...Isaac was here...Ethan was here...we were all here together. Even tonight when Micah was ready for bed and ready to eat, I sat in the recliner in his room to feed him his bottle. I know maybe this is crazy, but I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for that recliner. I thanked God that I could have my shoes off and put my feet on "clean" carpet. After feeding him so many times in the hard, wooden rocker without being really comfortable, I leaned my head back and thanked the Lord.

Micah had a great day at home today. He's rested well. He's smiled and laughed. Micah's also eaten fairly well, even eating some small bites of chicken and mashed potatoes. Even though he still has that bile drain and bag, you wouldn't know it by looking at how well he has done today.

All those days my feet were planted on the floor of Duke hospital never robbed me of my heart's desire to be at home. And as I have thought about that, it reminded me that this isn't my home. I have a far greater home awaiting me now.

My feet may be planted upon the soil of this decaying and sin-ridden earth, but my heart is fixed and longs for my home, my eternal home, in heaven with Jesus Christ. He's promised it to me. He said that so very clearly. He's prepared it for me. That too was clearly spoken. He's planned the grand opening. Oh there is a day, which I do not know, in which the Lord will return for me to gather me home to be with Him. May I never grow so comfortable with this world and this life that my heart's affection is not set upon heaven and being in the presence of Jesus Christ.

There's no place like home. God doesn't know a better place than heaven. He doesn't know a sweeter, more peaceful, more lavish, more permanent, more enthralling place than heaven. The One who created everything, heaven and this world included, invites us to dwell in the place that He has created that is rivaled by no other. Is heaven your home?

Friday evening Sarah and I left Duke Hospital at about 5:00 PM with Micah in the car. We drove home. The joy to see him in the car when we left and when we pulled in the driveway is indescribable. He's doing well at this time. We've come home for an indefinite amount of time. The last procedure revealed some information we had not yet heard.

When on Thursday of this past week the doctors went in to try to open the blockage where the bile duct attaches to the intestines, it was discovered that there was "communication" between that site and the cavity of fluid in that area which had been present since transplant. The test revealed that apparently a small leak at that site is present. In short, another surgery is needed to repair the plumbing (for lack of a better word).

There isn't a rush to fix this, though it will likely be within the next couple months. One goal is to get the doctor who did Micah's transplant, Dr. Desai, who has since moved to Texas, to return to be part of the surgery. When schedules can be coordinated, then the surgery will likely occur. In the meantime, we seek to keep Micah healthy and monitor liver levels and so forth. It had been our hope and prayer that the area where there is blockage could be opened and no surgery be required. The news of another surgery was difficult to hear. But once again, we know God is bigger than all this. We know He is able to do the impossible. And we also know that if surgery comes, God is certainly in control of every detail, big or small.

We simply ask that you continue to pray for us and the doctors throughout the coming weeks. As always, we ask for prayer for divine wisdom and guidance. Please also pray for Micah and our entire family to remain healthy and strong. For a boy from Tennessee who loves snow and hasn't seen much lately, I still long for warmer weather and healthier days devoid of flu scares and other illnesses that can wreak havoc on the body and whole families.

I will certainly update periodically. Micah is scheduled for a follow-up visit Monday this coming week.

In the meantime, we give glory and honor to God who has done an incredible and wonderful healing work in Micah. Lord, thank you for letting us come home! But thank you most of all for my heavenly home which awaits my arrival because Jesus has redeemed me.

Don't Move

2008-02-23T01:38:00.000-05:00

"Keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life" (Jude 21).

Bill Bright was the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ. I love the article he once wrote in which he encouraged believers to "preach the gospel to yourselves every day." It is so easy as Christians to think the gospel is only for those who have not believed. That isn't the case at all.

The gospel is just as important to the believer 30 years after he or she has believed as the day he or she believed. As a Christian, my hope is in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Certainly I know that I have been made right with God through Jesus Christ. Yet salvation is a process. When I believed for the first time, my eternal destination was changed. My standing before God changed. I passed from death into life. Yet I am in the process of being saved. I don't mean I'm working for it. The Spirit of God continues to work in me to make me more like Jesus Christ and less like me. (No Amens or Hallelujahs please!)

Even so, the final part of salvation will not dawn until I get taken up into the presence of Jesus Christ where I will stand perfect, complete, lacking in nothing. I'm in the salvation process even though I possess salvation right now. There is no doubt of where I will spend eternity.

Now back to preaching the gospel to myself every day. Because I stumble and fall, I need the gospel. Every sin--past, present and future--Jesus bore in His body on the cross to death and then rose again. Although I am saved and all my sin has been paid for in full, I'm still imperfect. As a believer, if I lose sight of the gospel for me personally, I lose hope for my spiritual needs. It is by the cross I have received salvation, forgiveness and all spiritual blessings. And it is the gospel which reminds me of this and reminds me that I have the forgiveness I so desperately need day by day.

Therefore, when Jude, the half-brother of Jesus Christ, encourages believers to keep themselves in the love of God, I am reminded of my daily need to keep the gospel in full view. I need God's love. I need to keep myself in the middle of it. If I move out of it, I move into despair. If I move away from it, I move to self-dependence which reminds me I have nothing to offer for my greater need (a Savior). But I must keep in it, not moving, awaiting the mercy of Jesus Christ unto eternal life. As a believer, I need the gospel. And every time I share the gospel, it just reminds me how much more I need it.

Micah is resting well right now. The procedure took about two hours today. The biopsy was not performed, however. The initial test showed that the main bile duct leading out of the liver that connects to the intestines was completely obstructed at the point of connection between it and the intestines. The doctor tried to place a catheter through the blockage in an attempt to open it up. After the second try, the decision was made to stop.

Instead, the doctor placed a bile drain tube that runs out of Micah into a bag. Sometimes in these cases where the bile has backed up, there can be inflammation in the liver and surrounding area, as well as the bile could have infection in it. The goal is to let the bile drain out and repeat the procedure the early part of next week. Often the next try will be successful after the bile has drained and some of the inflammation has gone away.

There is uncertainty as to why the blockage occurred. It could be a result of scar tissue that closed it off or part of the PTLD. The biopsy was not performed since the apparent cause of the enzyme levels and bilirubin increase is the blockage and since there is an increased risk of problems should the bile be infected when the needle is inserted into the liver to draw the tissue sample. A biopsy could still be performed next week when the doctor tries to open the blockage again. We will wait and see. If this method is unsuccessful, the alternative option is surgery to physically go inside and fix the blockage.

In the midst of the ups and downs, the constant reminder of God's love and my need to stay in the middle of His love has proven crucial. I am grateful how the Lord provided for our entire family today. I am thankful He brought Micah through yet another procedure and sedation, as well as strengthened Sarah and me.

Please pray for Micah and the blockage--to be removed with or without the procedure.

He is...and He is...and He is

2008-02-22T15:02:00.000-05:00

"Jesus was going throughout all Galilee...healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people" (Matthew 4:23).

The Bible teaches that Jesus was and is and is to come. He is the same always including yesterday, today and forever. Therefore, when you go back as far into history, Jesus is. When you stand in today, He is. But go as far forward into eternity and you'll still find that Jesus is.

So when we read about Jesus, the Son of God, who walked throughout all Galilee teaching, proclaiming the gospel and healing every size, shape, form or degree of disease or sickness, one truth is for certain. Jesus HAS NOT changed. Oh but we sometimes act as though He has.

I'm guilty. Go ahead and pass the sentence on down. And it is easy to preach the power of Jesus Christ but fail to apply that same power to your own life. Jesus healed every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people. There was nothing outside of His power. There was nothing too difficult. No sickness had such a tight grip that Jesus could not overcome it. No body was so riddled with pain, sores, sickness, disease and the like that He turned away thinking it was a hopeless cause. For He healed every kind.

Now I am not one to claim that you will have healing if you have great enough faith. After all, I don't claim to have great faith. I just have a great God. I don't see Jesus healing people because of "great faith." I see Him heal because they "had faith." Big or small, great or weak, faith is faith. To have faith is to believe that God is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do.

Too often we trust ourselves. Too often we trust the medicine. God may use the medicine. He may use the surgery. But He doesn't have to use those. He could circumvent all of that. He is today what He Matthew writes about His journey throughout all Galilee. We simply need faith to believe He can whether He chooses to do so or not.

Sarah and I have seen God do, without a procedure, a therapy or a medication, just what Jesus did for all the people throughout Galilee. And we've seen God use medicine and surgery to be the agent of healing as well. Whatever the case, whatever the means, our faith is in the Lord and our praise goes to Him.

Today Micah will have two tests to determine why the liver enzyme levels have been elevated and his bilirubin continues to climb. Specifically, the doctors are looking for the possibility of a bile flow problem or blockage, as well as whether the PTLD is still present in the liver. The tests include a liver biopsy and a scan that will look at the flow of bile through the bile ducts. Yesterday was not as good a day for Micah as the day before. It could be not feeling well or not a lot of sleep. We pray it isn't something that has come on that is going to set him back severely again.

Our desire is to know what is occurring so Micah might be treated and the liver to function as it should. We know the Lord could touch His body and His liver before these tests. The doctors may see nothing and the lab results start showing improvement. For this we pray. Regardless, we pray for the Lord to grant wisdom and skill to doctors, should He choose not to heal by the miracle of His touch, in order that they might know what to do and that God might heal by miracle of the medicine. To God be the glory, honor and praise!

Smiles and Laughs

2008-02-20T01:17:00.000-05:00

"For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands" (Psalm 92:4).

This has been a great day! Last night I stayed with Micah at the hospital with Micah so Sarah could get some rest. I stayed today and tonight again so she could get a little "extended leave." After spending almost 6 weeks here this time, it certainly does get long. I though Sarah, who has stayed many more days than I have, needed and deserved that time.

Today was a great day. Micah smiled and laughed throughout the entire day. He seemed to be, for the first time since November, happy and glad to be alive. There have been other good days in the past week, but today was the best of all that I have witnessed. Even now as he sleeps and I write in the dark hospital room, I see his smile which lit up his face so many times today.

I am grateful to the Lord that He has allowed Micah a year of life, to endure the surgeries and treatments and now be enjoying the whole day. I pray for more days like today even though in this whole process I have found that you never know what a day will bring.

The liver levels have come down again today (which is good). The bilirubin level was 2.3 today which is down from 2.5 yesterday. Hopefully all these levels will continue the downward progression. Since these levels have continued to move slowly lower, a liver biopsy has not yet been done. There is still the possibility of that this week, but not as of right now.

At this time the plan is to continue to monitor the liver levels, balance the medicines to insure the rejection is under control and managed as well as the EBV to stay inactive and hopefully then to be able to go home soon. Of course we don't want to go home if it is like last time. The day we went home I knew we would be returning soon. Yet we are eager to get everyone healthy and home and STAY THAT WAY for good long while.

So as I wrap up what may be one of the shortest entries to day, I just want to encourage you in the way Micah encouraged me today: Smile and Laugh. I think just how many reasons this little boy has to not smile and not laugh and yet when he feels when there are multitudes of smiles and laughs. God is certainly good and has performed so many great and mighty works. He's done more than enough to make us glad. So why not be?

Happy Birthday Micah!

2008-02-16T00:41:00.000-05:00

"The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life" (Job 33:4).

Yesterday was a special day. Micah turned ONE! With that came a flood of memories and thoughts. I remembered this time last year. We awaited his birth having sold our home and with nowhere to move. He came on a day in which the world celebrates, primarily, romantic love. Sarah and I celebrated the wonderful, miraculous and beautiful birth of our third precious son. And of course we ate Zaxby's in the hospital room for Valentine's Dinner.

Little did I ever think at this time a year ago that I would not only spend many more days in a hospital, but also spend two Valentine's Days in a row in the hospital. It wasn't Zaxby's this year; we opted for Jason's Deli.

One year ago the biggest issue and concern in our life was knowing where we would move. That seems so small these days. But one thing is for certain one year later--Micah is as precious to us now as he was then. He is as loved now as he was then. As a matter of fact, I think he's more precious, more loved, more beautiful and more miraculous today!

Those words from Job, who certainly endured his great and fair share of difficulty, pain and suffering, are words of affirmation, declaration and encouragement. Without a doubt, Micah was made by the Spirit of God and the breath of the Almighty has given and continues to give him life. When days came that storm clouds circled overheard, the breath of God gave him life. When the next moment was unsure and the hope for him here eluded us, God gave him life.

Micah, as is true of us all, was made by the Spirit of God. He's not a cookie-cutter human. He's not some product of an assembly line. He's unique and special, hand-crafted by the Spirit of God. But God is also the One to give and sustain life by His breath. That he has. For one year and now counting, we bow our hearts in worship of the Living God who has breathed in Micah to give him life.

Yesterday's party wasn't what we had hoped, but it sure what good. Isaac and Ethan (along with Grandmom and Pawpaw), came to the hospital to eat pizza, cake and ice cream. After that, we opened presents (both Valentine's Day and Birthday presents). It seemed like Christmas all over again. When that was finished, it was time for Isaac and Ethan to make their departure. Not having an agenda for a 2- and 3-year-old can be chaotic in a hospital for sure. Our time together was good. Micah had a good day with only a few moments in which he didn't seem to feel all that much like celebrating.

The reports and news have been good as of late. The CT scan was clear, the bone marrow test showed the bone marrow to be good and functioning properly and the EBV test last conducted showed no detection of the virus. So at this point, while we know it is still present, it is not active in his system. The only item of negative sorts, though it was anticipated and expected as some time, was his liver enzyme levels have started to climb again. With the virus now dormant, the immune system may have begun to attack the liver creating a rejection episode.

Doctors have started the anti-rejection medicines again. This demands some great balancing work. We want the immune system to stay low enough to not reject the liver, but not too low that the virus is able to rear its ugly head again (creating problems as it did this time). Micah also had his "last" treatment today to try to eliminate the abnormal B Cells. If the test does not detect any, then he will have completed his last treatment. If not, there is the possibility he will have another one or more in the weeks to come.

Even though we are now completing our fifth week here, there is no talk at this time about when we might get to go home. We look with great fondness toward that day. Yesterday would not be too soon for me. Yet I know we want Micah to be well and stable before returning home. The last thing I desire is to go home just to repeat this all over again. So please continue to pray in concerning these items.

And I have one final note which is somewhat of an aside. While many individuals read this from literally all over, the majority who read it likely live within a fairly close distance to the Raleigh-Durham Area. You may be aware that for 14 years the WRAL Mix 101.5 FM radio station has conducted a radiothon for the Duke's Children's Hospital. In the past 14 years, they have helped raise over 9 million dollars. This year's radiothon ended yesterday which saw a pledge total of over 1 million dollars. I've given in the past, but it has been a couple years. This year I was certain I wanted to give.

Duke isn't a PERFECT place; but it's a GREAT place. The children who are helped and cared vary immensely. But one thing is for sure...They all have a need! So Sarah and I made a one-time pledge. Compared to the gifts of others, it probably wasn't and isn't much. The only place I usually encourage people to give is to the local church, in order that we might see people come to faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. But I must say that I am compelled, not just for my son but for all the other children and their families, to simply ask you if you might be able and willing to make even a one-time pledge. The link to the site where you can pledge is https://www.gifts.duke.edu/dcradio or you can go to www.wralfm.com and click on the link.

I often think about how the Lord kept us close to this place and how our son has benefited from being here. I have also thought about what it would be like if this place were not here. Maybe you have never had a need for a place like Duke Children's Hospital. I still ask you to consider giving. Just look to the right of this entry and see the pictures of Micah. You are not giving to a Faceless Cause. You are giving to help these precious children's lives!

The Answer Came....The Thorn Remained

2008-02-12T01:20:00.000-05:00

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

On this present journey which may continue for many days or years, I often feel like I am stuck in this vicious, unending cycle. Good news comes, but is short lived. Bad news comes and outstays its welcome.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) morning, Micah will have a bone marrow test. His white blood cell count has been low. But one specific type of white blood cell, called neutrophils, has come back either at zero or one for the past four days. These cells migrate quickly toward a site of infection or inflammation to help the body (immune system) attack the infection. The fact that Micah's have been zero or one leave him at risk should he get any type of infection or bacteria. Should that happen, his body would be hard pressed to fight.

The concern is that the PTLD may have gotten into the bone marrow. If so, my understanding is that Micah would have to undergo chemotherapy treatment. The bone marrow test will help determine this by indicating whether the bone marrow is producing these cells as it should.

Once again it is as if the bad news keeps coming (or the possibility of bad news), while the good news is scarce. It is so easy to be discouraged; so easy to become frustrated or angry. At times I feel so weak and depleted. Sarah and I have prayed for the Lord to heal Micah of this. We may have prayed as earnestly as we prayed for God to heal him when we learned of the biliary atresia. Yet God has not chosen to remove this.

The Apostle Paul encountered a situation for which he experienced hurt and pain. While we don't know what his thorn in the flesh was, we know it must have been difficult for Paul to carry. We know this in part because he prayed three times for the Lord to remove it. He didn't just make a request. He begged God. The NASB uses the word implore. While we don't know what the thorn in his flesh was, we also know why it was given and the answer to Paul's request.

The thorn was given to Paul to keep him from becoming arrogant over the vision he had seen of Paradise. And the answer to his request was clear: "No." God refused to remove the thorn in his flesh. I believe the answer was no for several reason. First, if God took it away, Paul could certainly still exalt himself and become conceited. Second, the thorn would always push him to depend not on himself but the Lord. Third, when God works in spite of our visible and obvious weakness, we are unable to take the credit and He gets the entire spotlight. So God left the thorn so He might receive the glory when His work was demonstrated in spite of the weakness of man. And finally, it simply was not within the framework of God's will. Had it been God's will, certainly He would have done so. The answer came and the thorn remained.

But we cannot miss something so incredible here. God didn't just say "no". He promised to give that which would make the thorn bearable--His grace! To Paul, the Lord said, "My grace is sufficient for you..." In other words, "Paul, I'm not taken it away. But I am giving you what you need to live with the thorn." Then, the Lord's power would be demonstrated even in spite of Paul's weakness. It isn't that weakness is a prerequisite for divine power. Rather, it is just that God's divine power is more evident through human weakness. Therefore, the Lord Almighty gets the glory for what happens.

So as I think about the news of negative nature that keeps coming, I must let God's word remind me that in spite of what Micah faces or what we endure, the Lord's grace is sufficient. That means, it does not lack and it will not fail. His grace will strengthen and sustain. I certainly don't know where the road goes from here, but I know the road is paved with God's grace. The bumps, the potholes, the roadblocks and more are bearable when faced with the grace of God. So while we have prayed, the thorn has remained. But the answer has come...and His grace will be sufficient.

We would ask that you continue to pray for the bone marrow test that will take place in the morning. Please pray that we will gain insight and clarity as to whether the bone marrow is producing or not. We certainly pray there is another explanation other than the bone marrow. As soon as we know, it will be posted here. Thank you for praying! God does always answer. He does answer "no" at times just like with Paul. But He always answers! Thank you for praying!

I Forgive You

2008-02-08T21:28:00.000-05:00

"For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins" (Colossians 1:13-14; italics mine).

John Plummer had seen the picture for years. It is a picture with which most of us are familiar. The picture showed a young girl running from an attack during the Vietnam War. For years John had tried to put the picture out of his mind, but it did not work. For most, this picture is used to argue the cruelty of war and the injustice war brings upon the innocent. However, the picture had a greater meaning for John.

You see John was responsible for carrying out those attacks on that little girl's village in 1972. He had received word that the village was clear and that there were no civilians in the area. What he, and apparently others did not know was that this girl's family was hiding in the exact same area John was planning to attack.

As time passed, John learned that this girl was still alive and living in Toronto, Canada. John also discovered that she would be speaking at the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial in Washington, D.C. So he went. When he arrived he sent word to her that he was there. Then he waited. To say he anxiously waited would be an understatement. He little knew what to expect. What happened next probably stunned him.

The now 33-year-old woman embraced John Plummer and repeated these words: "I forgive." Later John came to find out that this woman had placed her faith in Jesus Christ in 1982.

Think about it! To the man who had brought such pain and destruction into her life, this woman embraced John Plummer and said, "I forgive." She didn't say "I'm still trying to forgive." Nor did she say, "I cannot ever forgive what you've done." And while the act carried out, though unintentional, has gripped the hearts of individuals for years now, may we not let our hearts be so cold and callous that we miss an even greater story.

God created. Man sinned. God came to Adam and Eve in the Garden. Sin continued. But God had a plan from before the creation of the world. Jesus Christ was sent. He wasn't just a good man. He wasn't just a good speaker. He wasn't just some miracle worker. He was God's Son. God's only Son. God's Son who had been sent to...die!

What we see at the cross is not a man living out some psychotic episode. We don't see a man at the end of a fatalistic quest. We don't even see a good man come to ruin at the hands of tragic circumstances. What we see is a perfect man. A man suffering in our place. And when He had suffered His last, when He had made payment for every sin, when He was finished with His work of atonement, He died....just for me.

But when He rose again on the third day, you don't see Him say, "You owe me and you will never be able to pay." We don't see Him shaking His finger in our face and say, "I'm trying hard to forgive but I'm not sure I can." With arms opened wide for a mighty embrace (like the ones we give our children), Jesus Christ stands with arms opened wide to embrace us. They were opened while He died...there still open now that He's alive.

I'm grateful that every day I can know the embrace of God and hear His words, "I forgive." I'm not talking about getting "re-saved." I'm talking about Jesus who loves me and died for me who still forgives me day by day. He doesn't pack up camp and move out just because I move into sin. Certainly I don't want to sin, but I am grateful for His embrace.

Someone reading this blog right now may be overdue for that embrace. You may not be a believer in Jesus Christ. But you know what it means to have guilt and regret. Maybe you've lived a life of a drunk, sexual promiscuity, deceit and lying or violent anger. Oh to know that there is an embrace where the God of heaven whispers your name in your ear and says, "You're forgiven."

Still others are believers who struggle with their abuse of the costly grace Jesus Christ offers to each of us. Why would He forgive what you have done as His child? Because you are His child! In our house, I am committed to telling my children every day, multiple times a day, "I love you!" One day Isaac said (with a grin), "I don't love you anymore." Of course I first tickled his armpit until he recanted and stated his undying love for his wonderful father. (Just kidding. I tickled him until he said, "Stop daddy! I love you.") You can guess this has become somewhat of a game for both Isaac and Ethan. So I play along for a few times. After a few times, when they make their statement again I say to them, "Whether you love me or not, I'll always love you." And why do I do that? They are my children.

Jesus died for me. God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ love me. I am part of their family and I have been forgiven. Nothing will ever squelch that love. Every day I need His forgiveness for the fellowship I have with Him to be restored. It has nothing to do with my salvation, but everything to do with the health of my relationship with Him.

I've desperately needed that forgiveness and love lately. I may not be in any more need of it this week as opposed to other weeks. But my awareness of the need has been greater. I've struggled with anger in the last week. There have been times I do believe I had righteous anger. Yet I know without a doubt I have been angry this past week where righteousness would be the last characteristic to define it. What has been so encouraging is to be able to share that anger openly with my Dad who lives in heaven and then to hear in my heart Him say, "You're forgiven."

This week has definitely had its ups and downs. There have been positives and negatives; days of rejoicing and days of weeping. The day after my last blog (Behind the Smile) was a tough day. The fevers have once again been fairly common with Micah. Beyond this, his white blood cell count has dropped. One particular type of white blood cell that helps to fight infection went from 400 on Tuesday to zero the past two days. It went to one today. The immediate concern is whether the bone marrow is producing as it should or if the PTLD has gotten into his bone marrow. There is the possibility, and this is what we hope to be the case, that two of the medicines he is currently receiving have caused the drop. Regardless, the situation is not good in the immediate since it leaves him vulnerable to infection, bacteria, and such that he would be unable to fight. There are two medicines that may be to blame and one has been discontinued. If things do not change, they will discontinue the other and substitute with some other medicine.

There is praise for today. It seems that so much reporting about our time has been negative. But the last blood test in which they checked for the presence of the Epstein Barr Virus showed that it was undetected. We know that EBV stays in the body. However, at this time the EBV is down and undetectable. While we continue to watch the B Cells to insure they are under control and controlled as they need to be, we praise the Lord for His work in bringing the virus under control.

Back to the white blood cell count, however, if there is no improvement on Monday (which the count of that particular white blood cell should be at 1000), a bone marrow test will be done on Tuesday of next week.

Earlier this week there was talk and rumor of going home. But it looks like we'll start our fifth week here. Micah's birthday is next Thursday and I was hoping for everyone's benefit that he'd be home. Even so, we are grateful to the Lord for the care we can receive, for sustaining Micah's life throughout this week and for giving us the strength, peace and comfort we need to persevere. Thank you for praying!

Behind that Smile

2008-02-06T00:30:00.000-05:00

"When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them" (Job 29:24).

The Mona Lisa has generated a lot of conversation over the years. The classic expression on her face has caused art lovers and historians alike to share their particular insights (opinions that is) about the meaning behind it. To most, there is a lot of meaning behind that smile. Our expressions convey so much. Sometimes they accurately convey our attitude, feelings or positions...and sometimes not so much!

My greatest joy today was seeing all my children smile. That, in turn, places a smile upon my lovely wife's face (not that she doesn't smile any other time). I saw smiles light up the face of Isaac and Ethan as we rode to the hospital, talked about the day and spent time together. When I arrived at Duke, it wasn't long before I saw a smile light up the face of Micah. I could scarcely believe it when I say him smile and look so happy to be alive.

We're in our fourth week of this hospital stay. Seeing him smile is a great turn-around from where we started back at the end of November and then again the beginning of January. Micah has certainly endured the treatments well and we continue to hope the Lord touches his body to heal him of the current issues.

Behind that smile tonight appeared a little boy who seems to be making some small steps toward feeling better. I certainly hope we go home soon so he, and we, can celebrate his first birthday at home. Sarah and I continue to pray and wait and thank you for your prayers.

And no in what is a little different about my updates, I want to speak about the two individuals who sometimes get overlooked but who have been impacted in some ways as much as Micah. Isaac and Ethan rarely get any space on this blog devoted to them, except an honorable mention when I speak about how much I love my family, my children and how great a blessing they are to my life. But they are all changing and growing so fast. This blog is often read by individuals who do not get the privilege of seeing our children and the growth that is occurring in all areas of their lives.

Isaac and Ethan have both pretty much potty-trained themselves. Sarah and I are so thrilled about the "big boy underwear" in our house and the absence of diapers. While I don't miss the diapers, the fact that they have outgrown them saddens me. It is a mark that my boys are growing up and often times fast than I would like.

They have both been indoctrinated by their mom about Mexican food. Anyone who knows Sarah well will attest to the fact that Mexican food and fountain Diet Cokes top her list. This has been instilled in Isaac and Ethan with great passion and vigor. A few weeks ago we were eating Mexican food and Ethan ended up eating half my enchilada and none of his cheese quesadilla. So the other day Sarah and I had the opportunity, thanks to her mom and dad staying with Micah, to take the older boys to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I told Ethan were were going to get him an enchilada, but Isaac insisted he still get a cheese quesadilla. As we were eating, Isaac looked at me and said, "Daddy? Why Ethan get a 'quesalada'?"

Ethan is currently in the habit of waking up each night to come crawl in our bed with whoever is at home that night. Both of the boys love jumping on the extra mattresses currently on the floor in Micah's room. Typically each night we go into Micah's room and play "football." It really isn't football, but that is what they call it. Here's the rules: Isaac, Ethan and I have to take off our shirts. Then, we run into each other and tackle. After that, they try to roll me off the mattresses onto the floor. When they do (as I pretend to be fighting to stay on), both of them with childlike laughter giggle and laugh as though I had told the funniest joke in all the world.

There is so much fun we have and so much enjoyment we receive from life. Children, especially ours, make life so interesting, fun and enjoyable. I often ache for Isaac and Ethan. Sure they aren't sick. They don't have to stay in the hospital. But the impact on them is almost as great as it is on Micah. Nevertheless, the Lord has graciously supplied for all of our and their needs. He has given them grace in the moment to deal with all the adversities and difficulties of this situation. Certainly there have been times when they cried for Sarah or me to stay home. At other times they have cried for Micah to come home. Still other times it has been used as a a manipulative weapon. For instance, when Ethan is being disciplined, he likes to tell you to "go to the hospital" so he gets off the hook.

I just wanted to take a day where Isaac and Ethan emerge from the shadows and get space where I write about what's going on with them. I know God has and is using this to grow and shape them even at a young age. I trust the Lord fully with the care of all our children. It still doesn't remove the heartache that comes when you observe the high cost they pay in all this.

So if I could ask for you to pray for them the next time you pray for Micah, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you to those of you who have made visits during these last three or more weeks. We know Duke isn't just on the way to where you are going. You have to make a special trip to come by here. While it may go without saying, we want to say it--Thank you!

Alycia Died Today

2008-02-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

"But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, 'Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these'" (Mark 10:14).

Children hold a special place in the heart of God. This we know...because we read it in His word. Not only do we hear God declare "children are a gift of God," but we also hear and see Jesus elevate children above the cultural view of His day to a place of value and worth.

You've heard it said before, "Children should be seen and not heard." Jesus' disciples were part of a culture that believed and practiced this. Children had their place. They were not to leave their place. So on the day when Jesus was teaching and had so many important things to do, the disciples were not about to let children get in the way. (Boy, that mentality sounds familiar to the one being touted today when individuals make statements that portray children as an obtrusive object on the pathway to where I want to go and what I want to do.) As the children were being brought by parents to be blessed by the Son of God, the disciples begin to forbid them. Get the picture here...

They stand opposing the parents and children. Peter, James and John may have been good linemen for this week's Super Bowl XLII.

They speak to the parents: "Hey. He's teaching right now. He doesn't have time to touch your kids." Some parents try to slide through or skate around the defensive line.

When Jesus saw what His followers were doing, the response in emotion, words and actions convey a big deal. First of all He was indignant. In other words, He wasn't going to say, "Come on now guys. Let's take it easy." He was steamed. His attitude in this situation speaks volumes to those onlookers and the disciples to whom His words of rebuke were about to fall.

For in His indignation, Jesus instructed them to allow the children access to Him. "Permit them to come to Me." He wanted them near because to His heart they were and are dear. But that wasn't all He said. It wasn't just "allow them to come to Me," but it was also "don't you hinder them." Some translations read "and forbid them not." What is clear is that it made Jesus righteously angry to see His followers forbidding the children to be able to come to where He was. It clearly upset the Son of God that His disciples would be the reason they could not come.

And then they came. Those who obstructed the way stepped aside and the children rushed to be near Jesus. The beauty of what Jesus did reaffirms that children are special to Him. He took them in His arms, He placed His hands on them and He blessed them. They are not curses. They are blessings.

Unfortunately the mindset of the first century culture still persists today, though masked in different terms. Children are viewed as a means to an end. They are desired for what they can give us. This is often reflected in our language and speech. Yet our words betray Scripture.

If I had a penny for every time I've had someone make some snide, sarcastic statement about Sarah and I have children so close together or having so many (though I fail to see how three is "too" many), I could help water conservation efforts by taking baths in all my money. Had I listened to popular culture, Micah wouldn't be in this hospital bed next to me, the Lord would have had to work in my life through some other means, we would not have experienced the miraculous and mighty work of God and we wouldn't have a beautiful and precious child whom we love beyond words, for we would have stopped at two.

By the way, you may think I'm being unkind to you because you had two children and stopped. That isn't my heart. I struggle with those who criticize my position, and in essence curse my children who have richly blessed my life, because I didn't choose that route. Lord willing, the Buchanan household will grow even beyond this point in the future.

So maybe you are now thinking to yourself, "Who put the soapbox out for Justin today?" I'll tell you where this comes from. Alycia died today. She was two. She had biliary atresia like Micah. She had also had the Kasai Procedure like Micah. She was on a transplant organ list just like Micah had been listed on last summer. But she got sick and never recovered to a point where she was able to receive a transplant. Today, she died at age 2. And for good reason, I got angry. Because I hate that she died. I hate that she had to die. But I hate how our world often views and speaks of children as if to devalue them. Alycia has just as much value and worth as any other child healthy or sick. But whether the life is one just conceived, one at 33 weeks in the womb, one 5 years old or one 95 years old, because God created and sustains life and created us in His image, we have great value. Because God sent His Son to die on the cross for my mistakes, my mishaps and my moral failures, I have value. And whether the child is the first or the 15th in a family, he or she has as much value as anyone else.

I am saddened by the news of Alycia dying. Certainly there is no guarantee from moment to moment for any of us. Surely there is no guarantee that Micah will overcome the hurdles with which He is currently faced. But that doesn't matter. Whether here with me or in heaven with Christ, Micah is safe in the arms of God. Today's news about Alycia deeply troubled me concerning my own son. Yet I know He is near and dear to the heart of God. He continues to fight...to God be the glory!

Little by Little

2008-01-29T02:00:00.000-05:00

"Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying, 'My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure'" (Isaiah 46:10).

God alone is able to declare the end from the beginning. He alone sees clearly and perfectly everything past, present and future. He is able, because He sees all things and knows all thing, to declare to us from ancient times those things which have yet to come to pass. But in it all, He is certain of the fact that His purpose will be established and that everything He desires to be accomplished will be done.

In leading students at Bay Leaf through the Experiencing God material, we recently discussed how God's will is best and that He knows everything. His commands and His work in our live is to lead us to the best. We never receive God's best by going outside His boundaries or trying to circumvent His commands.

The connection here is simple. God has given His commands because He is able to declare the end from the beginning. He sees all of time and has declared from ancient times those things which have not even dotted human history as I type this. And He has given us His commands. His commands are issued to us out of His great love and desire for us to know and follow Him. These commands were given by God for us in order that we might find the fullest and most abundant life.

Furthermore, His commands were given to guide us through this world filled with pain, hurt, sin, death and destruction. Because He sees clearly and perfectly all things and knows all things, His commands help guide our life to avoid the pitfalls of sin and the pain and suffering which eventually accompany it.

Sometimes as we follow God's commands, we still experience pain. I like to think that is our situation. We certainly were seeking to follow God's commands and live for His glory when this all begin with Micah's health. While it is hard to see sometimes exactly God's purpose and plan, I realize that even in this His "purpose will be established and [He] will accomplish all [His] good pleasure."

Today was another reminder that God has given to us a ministry here to touch others' lives in which we normally might not have the opportunity to minister. Several weeks ago we got the opportunity to minister to a family whose newborn son had heart defects. Last week we were able to pray with and minister to a family whose 14 year old son had tragically tried to commit suicide. This week there is a young girl Micah's age who has tumors which are believed to be malignant. Today she had surgery. Sarah and I had the opportunity to stop by briefly this evening to see them and speak with them.

While I still wonder at times what the full scope of God's intent is with all this, how He has worked in our family, in our lives and through us to be able to minister and serve others reminds me that His purpose will be established and He will accomplish all His good pleasure.

Little by little Micah makes small (maybe even very small) steps of improvement. Tonight is the first time I am aware of that he has not lost weight. He actually was up from 6.8 kilos to 6.9 (about 15 lbs.). While he is still in obvious pain at times, he is somewhat more comfortable throughout the day. He did have a fever today. However, Dr. Berman stated that this could be the virus (Epstein Barr) or it could be where the B Cells are dying from the treatment (by the medicine or the slow rise of Micah's immune system or both).

There are no large reports to issue. But the fact that Micah is stable, weight may have stopped dropping off and that he shows little signs of positive improvement is an encouragement. We know that this is by the Lord's hand and we thank Him for His grace. We thank you for your prayers.

WrestleMania

2008-01-25T18:26:00.000-05:00

"Do not let your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me" (John 14:1).

Unless you read yesterday's blog entry, the title of this one won't make much sense. If yesterday in any way was a day of wrestling with God in the midst of the situation in which we found ourselves, today escalated to WrestleMania fervor. But once again, I hear the words of the Lord and Savior of my life which He speaks to me.

Jesus' disciples wrestled. Down in the mouth. Heavy hearts over what their "leader" had stated about the future and those things which were to come. And knowing their hearts were troubled, Jesus spoke these words to them. His instruction: "Don't be." Though all the world may be troubled about the economic situation and the fact the DOW is down, let it not be true of you who are followers of me. When calamity and crisis strikes like a bolt of lightning that seemingly came from nowhere to scorch the ground only to retreat as quickly as it came, may your heart not be choppy like the seas caught in a Category 5 Hurricane. Instead, don't be troubled; don't be unsettled; don't be caught in the frenzy of emotions like those who live without hope.

Why? Your hope is in God. You believe in Him. Better still, believe in the One He sent. Believe in Me, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the manifestation of the Father in flesh and blood. Let your heart be fixed steadfast upon Me. And why is your hope in Me? Because I AM trustworthy. I AM truth. I AM faithful. I AM!

Is that easier said than done for you? Good! Me too. We're probably in the group with Thomas. For when Jesus spoke these words and promised He would return to receive them, Thomas was still troubled. So he addressed Jesus. "Where are you going and how can we know the way?" Obviously a man troubled in his heart about the situation in which he found himself. He wrestled with the concept that the one whom he followed for so long would soon be gone; out of sight and off the scene (physically that is). It is much easier to say we should trust God and not be troubled than to carry that out in flesh and blood in every day routines and situations.

We wrestle with our troubled hearts and fail to find confidence and refuge in Him. But this word is timely for all of us. He is the Lord our God and He is trustworthy. So when life is riddled with uncertainty and pain, let the last thing be the uprooting of our hearts which are fixed on Him.

Today the report of Micah's biopsies returned. I'll try to write in plain English and in brief form. I feel a bit like the Pastor who returned from vacation to be met by the Chairman of the Deacons. The Deacon said, "I have good news and bad news." The pastor said, "So what's the good news." The Deacon responded, "The good news is that while you were gone 15 people made decisions to trust Christ, 12 people moved their membership to our church and the offering was up by almost $2,000 more than usual." A bit stunned, the pastor scratched his head and asked, "So what's the bad news?" "The bad news is," said the deacon, "we voted to fire you and hire the man who filled in for you while you were gone."

Good news: We know what has been plaguing Micah for what seems like months (which it has been two).
Bad news: We know what it is.

Micah has what is called Post-Transplant Lymphoproliferation Disorder. According to one website regarding this disorder, "The disease is an uncontrolled proliferation of B cell lymphocytes following infection with Epstein-Barr Virus." The proliferation of the B cell lymphocytes occurs because the Suppressor T Cells which control this is inhibited by the anti-rejection medication Micah takes. The B cell lymphocytes, because of the immune system's confusion, have been attacking the tissue and/or organs. Micah's sores in the small intestines are a result of this attack. The treatment for Micah is two-fold. First, reduce the amount of suppression so that his immune system (and the Suppressor T Cells) can hopefully reverse this process. Second, he will receive an infusion of a potent medicine (called a chemotherapeutic medicine) once a week for four weeks.

The concern is that if the B Cell Lymphocytes continue this rapid proliferation that it can result in malignancies. In short, it can lead to lymphoma. According to Dr. Berman, if that happens, it will be bad. However, Dr. Berman has great optimism and confidence that this aggressive approach will reverse this occurrence and that we will see Micah improve, though it may be slow (possibly seeing the greatest results after the last infusion).

It is hard to battle something post-transplant that is or can be as severe or dangerous as the liver disease itself. However, we face this as we have the other difficulties over the last year. We are rooted in the truth of Scripture that God is in control. We know He loves and cares for us and Micah. We place our faith in Him day by day.

Please pray for Micah's continued health. Specifically, pray his immune system will begin to fight the EBV instead of attacking the tissues and organs; for the treatment plan and medicine to successfully reverse the proliferation of the B cell lymphocytes; for there to be no development of malignancies from this; most of all, for the Lord to be high and exalted throughout this time.

Thank you, as always, for praying for Micah and our entire family.

Wrestling and Walking

2008-01-25T02:59:00.000-05:00

"When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him" (Genesis 32:25).

Several, if not most, conservative scholars will point to this passage as a theophany. A theophany is a manifestation of God in the Bible which is tangible to the human senses. In other words, it is the visible appearance of God to man in the Old Testament, though not always in human form. While most translations refer to a man or Angel with whom Jacob wrestled, I believe it was God with whom Jacob wrestled. Even more than this, I believe what we see here may be more than a theophany. This is in my estimation a Christophany; an appearance of the second person of the Trinity, Jesus Christ, in a pre-incarnate state.

For sure, it is a theophany, for Jacob himself called that place Peniel which means face of God. So why spend so much time speaking about this? Because as I read through Genesis recently, this passage challenged me. And it continues to as God has once again returned it to my mind.

It was a dark night for Jacob. He was alone and afraid. The time period is that in which Jacob is returning to meet his brother Esau whom he stole the birthright out from under by deceiving their father. During that dark night in which Jacob spread his fears and himself out before the Lord, Jacob had a close encounter with God (or if you are persuaded as I am, with Jesus Christ). A struggled ensued. The two wrestled all night, even until daybreak. When the Angel of the Lord saw that He had not prevailed, He requested for Jacob to let Him go only after having touched Jacob's thigh dislocating the socket of the hip area. But Jacob refused to let go until the Angel blessed him. And thus he received a blessing and a name change.

While this passage contains so much, I specifically keyed in on two things. I first looked at how Jacob wrestled with God. His night was dark. His fears were great. His future was uncertain. So before the Lord He spread Himself out. He spent more than an hour...more than two...he spent the whole night. And God never reprimands this man for wrestling with Him. God is big and can handle it when we come and wrestle with Him concerning our present circumstances. I don't mean an irreverent approach or a caustic attitude. Rather, to come before the Lord and wrestle with Him as we struggle with our circumstances, hurts and problems which we do not understand.

There are still days I think I wrestle with God concerning Micah's health and situation. I'd like to be able to project a bit more of a super-spiritual front as though I have it altogether. Yet the frustration sometimes runs high. The uncertainty can take its toll. The bitterness bangs on the door wanting to come inside. Because God never intended that we should have to walk this road, I think He understands the struggle. Because the Lord made us perfect and desired that we should never sin but live in perfect harmony and peace with Him, I believe He expects there will be times we come and wrestle. But most of all, because Jesus Christ became flesh and blood walking this earth for 33 years, I know God understands. Matthew 26 may be the equivalent to Genesis 32.

Jesus had a dark night. Jesus had a night where the future to come was certain and it created great anguish in His soul. Three times He prayed that if possible the Father would allow the cup to pass from Him. Three times He prayed that the Father's will would be done. I believe in this scene we see the Son of God wrestling. He was wrestling, but He was fully obedient and submitted to His father.

I seek to do the same. Though I wrestle, I pray my heart is attune to my Lord and Savior and that I will be obedient to His will and submitted to His authority.

But I also see in Jacob that His wrestling changed Him. He faced a dark night. He faced a onslaught of fears. He faced a foggy future. He wrestled with the Lord and the Lord touched the thigh and dislocated the thigh from the socket of the hip. In spite of the difficult situation he faced, God did a work. He touched Jacob in the midst of his hard time and Jacob never walked the same again.

Let me take this beyond the physical to the spiritual. Recently I had a dear friend of mine come to speak with me following a worship service at our church. With tears flooding his eyes he said, "This isn't going to be wasted. God's going to use it for His glory." I pray that all of the tough times, the dark nights and the intimate moments of wrestling with God aren't wasted. I hope the Lord uses them for my good and His glory. I pray God touches my life, and the life of all my family, so that we walk different after having been through all of this.

I hope you, whoever you are and wherever you live and however you got to this blog, will by reading the account of our journey through this be touched by Jesus Christ to never walk the same again. That may mean you need to trust Him alone for salvation for the very first time. In doing so, He'll touch your life and you'll never walk the same again. Or maybe it means you need that touch of a Father to draw you near again as you have drifted away from Him. Even so, He can extend His loving hand to touch your heart to where you never walk the same again.

I may continue to wrestle with God, but I will continue to rest in confidence that He is in control regardless of what may come. As I journey along, I believe the Potter has His hands upon this old lump of clay molding my life such that I shall never walk in the same way in which I did before.

Micah is sleeping as I write. I guess he should be since it is almost midnight. But he has only been asleep for the last hour to hour and a half. He received some morphine for pain and he's finally calmed enough to sleep in peace. We still await the final pathology of the biopsies. Heaven only knows right now why it has taken so long. But hopefully tomorrow we shall know the results and better where to go from here.

Micah moved to a regular room from step-down two days ago. No word on when we'll go home or what the hope would be either. We have seen some small signs of improved health. He's smiled a few times. But clearly he has a little ways to go before getting back to his previous place of health and development.

Certainly we ask for your continued prayers. The road has been filled with twists and turns we didn't necessarily count on. Yet we know this, comparatively speaking, isn't as bad as it could be. So please continue to pray for our family; for Micah's restoration of health, God's wisdom and knowledge to be revealed to doctors and the Lord to be magnified in all things.

In the Course of a Day

2008-01-19T16:00:00.000-05:00

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth" (Proverbs 27:1).

Years ago I remember laughing when someone asked me, "Do you know what a redneck's last words are?" I responded, "No." "Watch this!," the person proceeded to tell me.

My last words on this blog were those spoken to us by the doctor. "He's no longer critical; he's now stable." Not more than 6 hours after I wrote those words, everything seemed to come undone. Stable would not be the word to describe the course of the last 24 to 36 hours.

I arrived Thursday evening to stay at the hospital. Sarah informed me that the bleeding at the site of the liver biopsy had stopped. I was also told he had been given morphine and should therefore sleep well. Both were to the contrary. I awoke in the wee hours of Friday morning to the sound of doctors (maybe 4 doctors) as they huddled around Micah's bed and talked about his blood counts. The question of what to do was being batted back and forth like a table tennis ball. As a result, the platelets were stopped in favor of giving blood. They gave the blood and then resumed with platelets. This was over about three hours. During this time, the bleeding from the site of Micah's liver biopsy had started again. From about 3:00 AM, Micah and I did not sleep much if at all.

About 7:00 AM, the doctors on the 5300 floor rounded. They came, talked about Micah's last blood counts and then left. Micah continued to be discomforted. When he did not go back to sleep, I decided to check his diaper to see if it needed to be changed (which always seems to make him a bit grumpy). I can't see that I blame him. As I went to change his diaper, I noticed a fairly large area on the sheet under him that was soaked with blood. Micah was bleeding a good amount. He was also passing straight blood in his bowel movements. I thought for a moment: "He's stable? He's going to sleep well tonight?" In the course of a day, everything seemed to have certainly changed.

As a result of the bleeding, yesterday doctors went through his groin area with a catheter to go and repair the blood vessel that had been hit during the biopsy. This procedure lasted about 3 hours but in the end was, or at least at the moment I write this, successful. The bleeding has stopped both from the site and internally. He still has blood being passed in his bowel movements. However, it seems that now he may truly be stable.

But what about those biopsies? That had been my focus for yesterday up until the chaos of the night. Nevertheless, the initial pathology report for the biopsies reveal that there is no rejection taking place at this time in the liver. While the liver numbers earlier in the week revealed that likelihood, it is believed that the high steroid dose reversed that episode to where there is no rejection at this time. Both the biopsy of the liver and the sores in the bowel indicate inflammation. This inflammation may be as a result of the virus (EBV) Micah is already known to have. Dr. Berman leans heavily at this time, barring additional information coming from the pathology report, to a immunilogical cause. Typically, the treatment of this is two-fold. First, immune suppression is brought to the lowest point possible in order to allow his immune system to fight on its own. Second, different medications for immune suppression are implemented to best treat the occurrence. Knowing which medications and what doses seems to be the key which is not so cut and dry.

Yesterday at this time, Micah was in surgery to repair the vessel. Today, he lays in Sarah's arms sleeping. Yesterday, there was urgency and danger and Micah was critical, as the bleeding piled on top of everything else that was taking place. Today, the urgency has subsided, the immediate danger appears to have abated and the hope of a turnaround for him grows brighter.

Isn't it so true what the wisdom of that proverb says? Boasting about a day to come which we have no power nor control over is futile. We do not know what a day may bring forth. It may bring great joy or great pain...great wealth or great poverty...sickness or health...friends or enemies...or the day to come may bring the return of Jesus Christ.

Though I may not know what the future holds, as one person once accurately noted, I know who holds the future. In the midst of it all, this is where our hope is fixed. How do you endure such great trials and adversities? By having One greater than you carry you through them. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and knowing He holds all things in His power, including me, is solely the reason I can endure.

I ask once again for you to pray Micah will make a turn and progress in health. Pray for wisdom on the part of the doctors and for the Lord's healing whether by medicine or the miracle. As Sarah and I have been reminded in the last few days, we have opportunity here to love people and share the hope of knowing Jesus. Pray for those opportunities and that we would have the specific words to speak. Most of all, as always, pray for God to be glorified. He is worthy...to Him be all glory, honor and praise!

The Itinerary

2008-01-17T23:48:00.000-05:00

"He Himself gives life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need there is" (Acts 17:25).

Max Lucado's book entitled Come Thirsty is my current selection. In the book, he shares the following story:

Sometime ago I went to the Indianapolis airport to catch a return flight to San Antonio. Upon reaching the terminal, I realized I had lost my itinerary. But that was okay, because I knew which airline would carry me home. Continental. Having flown from San Antonio on Continental, I would return on Continental. Right? But the Continental counter was closed. The lights were off. No ticket agent was in sight. With the clock ticking toward my 7:40 p.m. departure, I called for help. "Hello? Anyone back there? I'm here for the 7:40 flight."

From within the catacombs emerged a Continental baggage handler. He looked at me and said, "We don't have a 7:40 flight."

I replied, "Yes, you do. I flew Continental here, and I need to fly it home."

He shrugged. "We don't have another flight tonight."

I turned to the automated ticket machine, entered my information, and requested a boarding pass... It informed me that there was no sigh thing. Wouldn't you know it? Even the machine was wrong!

The employee, much to his credit, bore with me. Scratching his bald head, he offered a solution. "You know, Northwest Airlines has a 7:40 flight. Maybe you should check with them."

Sure enough, they did. And I had to admit that the airline's schedule ranked higher than my opinion. Their authority check-mated mine. I could have stood in front of the Continental counter all night, stamping my feet and demanding my way. But what good would it have done? Eventually I had to submit to the truth of the itinerary.

Every so often in life, we find ourselves standing before God's counter, thinking we know the itinerary. Good health, a job promotion, a pregnancy. Many times God checks the itinerary he created and says yes. But there are times when he says, "No. That isn't the journey I have planned for you. I have you routed through the city of Struggle."

As I read those words today, I was once again reminded of the Sovereignty of Jesus Christ. He knows all things. He alone gives life and breath and being. He supplies for every need there is or every will be in this world. Certainly I have been guilty of going to the Lord with my own itinerary and seeking for Him to issue me the boarding pass according to what I have planned. Yet this isn't the way God works or the way He desires for us to live. Not only is God strong enough to govern everything and control all things, He cares intimately for each of us too. His will is best.

I'm not saying it is wrong to want to live a comfortable life. It is wrong when we let anything to the contrary cause us to stand at odds with God. I'm not saying it is wrong for parents to desire their children be healthy, wealthy and happy. But what if God's will for them, and for me, is an itinerary through the city of Struggle? Struggling is a part of life. Difficulties stretch us, grow us and lead us to maturity, especially spiritual maturity.

My parents have probably prayed for those things for my life. However, I praise God He saw fit to let me struggle and grow in Him over the last 11 months. I hurt to see my son struggle so. I ache to observe the impact of all of the struggle, hospital stays, surgeries and so forth upon Sarah, Isaac, Ethan and Micah. Nevertheless, the Sovereign God has a plan for each of us and Micah's itinerary, for the glory of God, is routed through immense pain and suffering.

For the first time today, Dr. Berman finally said, "He's not critical any longer. He's finally stable." It has been intense to say the least. Micah has not gotten better or shown great signs of improvement. However, he does not show to be declining as before. Currently, as I write this, he sleeps in his hospital bed. He is receiving platelets continuously. The liver biopsy was performed earlier today and the results should be known tomorrow. He also had an endoscopy which revealed a sore or sores in the small bowel. Until the biopsy from this is known, the cause is nothing more than speculation.

After yesterday's high liver levels, Micah received a potent steroid dose which apparently helped. His liver numbers were back down near normal. This may indicate the problem was an episode of rejection. There is additional concern that Micah's immune system could be the culprit behind the last several weeks. There have been cases where children have received transplants and their immune system began not to attack just the transplanted organ but their own organs as well. At this time, Dr. Berman believes this could be the case, but is waiting for the pathology report from the biopsies before making any medicinal changes. Micah also had a tube replaced in the right ear which had closed off from dried blood after his ear continued to bleed following last Friday's surgery.

While we do not have an abundance of new information, we do have the possibility of some information to help us toward understanding what is and has been taking place with Micah. We praise the Lord for revealing the sores today. These likely explain the reason for his decreased appetite, pain in eating and pain when having a bowel movement.

Again, as always we thank you for praying. We continue to ask for your prayers for Micah and our family. We give glory to God that Micah is stable and no longer critical. Prayerfully, tomorrow's update will contain new praiseworthy information which will aid him in being restored in health.

Reach Out and Touch...Him

2008-01-17T01:15:00.000-05:00

"And a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak; for she was saying to herself, 'If I only touch His garment, I will get well'" (Matthew 9:20-21).

What our family has endured has not lasted even 12 months at this point. I cannot imagine 12 years. But the woman who encountered Jesus on this day had suffered for 12 years. While I do not know her name, her hair color, her family situation or any further details concerning her illness, there may be more commonality between her and our situation at this particular point in our lives.

Twelve years. I wonder how many doctors she had seen. I wonder how many medicines or therapies she had tried. Yet nothing had worked, this we know. I can relate as for about 8 weeks now Micah has had numerous tests performed, received multiple medications and been examined by countless doctors. All which have not at this time brought us any closer to understanding the exact nature of what Micah has that is causing him to be so severely sick. What we see are the symptoms and issues whatever is ailing him is causing.

But consider also what else we see in this passage. The woman who had the hemorrhage of 12 years comes in desperation to find Jesus Christ. Trials, difficulty, problems and illnesses tend to do that to individuals. You've heard it said that bad times make you bitter or better. This is true. Yet it is true that they either cause you to draw nearer to the Lord Jesus Christ or to distance yourself from Him. This woman was desperate. No doctor...no medicines...no therapies had healed her. She had no answers. And she had but one hope. So she came to Him. Sarah and I feel that level of desperation. We are desperate for answers, but mostly for healing of Micah. He's sick; very sick!

When she came, she was not even looking to have a face to face encounter. This woman of desperate heart desired to be just close enough to touch his garment she would find healing. This reveals to me not just her need or desperation, but her confidence. She knew Jesus Christ had the power to heal. So do we. We know, if the Lord wills, He can heal Micah by the medicine or by the supernatural miracle. Regardless, who Christ is provides a confidence that doesn't exist toward anything or anyone else. Though we are grateful for the medicine and the doctors, we most need the Lord and our confidence is in Him alone.

Micah continues to hang in there, but is obviously and desperately sick. When he's awake, he cries. It appears that either his crying is as a result of feeling so poorly and/or pain stemming from somewhere in his body. He has been eating even less, going for several hours without eating anything at all. His platelet count dropped as low as 12,000 (normal is about 140,000 to 150,000). He received platelets twice this afternoon and may receive them again. Tomorrow he is scheduled to have a liver biopsy and endoscopy. His liver levels remain high and the concern is two-fold: Either he is experiencing an episode of rejection or there could be an infection that has made its way into the liver. The biopsy will test the tissue and give a better picture of what is actually taking place. Because a rejection episode is possible, Dr. Berman prescribed Micah to receive a strong steroid in addition to the steroid and anti-rejection medicine he is currently receiving. The endoscopy will hopefully show if anything is going on in his esophagus or stomach which is causing the tar-like stools.

There is a lot taking place physically with Micah. It is uncertain at this point if all of it is interrelated or if there are multiple items/issues occurring together. Again, tomorrow we hope is a day of or closer to answers; not just more questions.

Nevertheless, in our desperation for healing, we have confidence in our Lord and Savior, the mighty God, who is able to heal with a word or with a touch. So we strive to continue focusing our eyes on Him.

Something Lurking

2008-01-15T02:32:00.000-05:00

"For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6).

"There's something obscure lurking in there." Those were the words of the doctor today as we once again took Micah to be admitted to the hospital. Since being discharged on January 4, Micah has not improved. If anything, he has gotten progressively worse. His eating has tapered off to a point that yesterday he may have eaten 10 ounces total during the day. He is restless and doesn't sleep well. There is little activity from him as he lays on the floor, is held in your arms or sleeps.

While Dr. Berman and the plethora of other doctors know there is something ailing Micah, they are all at a loss as to what it could be. He's been on anti-viral, anti-fungal and antibiotics while in the hospital, after he came home and now as he is back in the hospital. But the medicines do not seem to have helped him turn the corner and begin improving in health. The cultures of the fluid from Micah's ears and sinuses which were performed on Friday of last week came back negative. So once again there is nothing showing up in any of the fluids having been tested/cultured.

So here we are...back in the hospital, looking for answers and seeking God's wisdom and knowledge and healing. Certainly the Lord knows what is plaguing Micah. He's known all along and knew before it even occurred. Nevertheless, we seek His intervention in one of two ways. We pray either the Lord heal Micah with a touch even if the doctors (and Sarah and I) never know what it was or that He reveals to the doctors what it is and how to treat it.

I've not seen Micah this sick since just prior to transplant. In some ways, he even appears, and may be, sicker now than he was then. Add to that the absence of knowing what is causing the sickness and the situation is difficult and hard. Therefore, we ask that you pray. Pray, pray, pray!

The last time I fervently asked for prayer was for the liver to begin working just after transplant. Daily the doctors would seem perplexed that the piece of my liver which was transplanted was not functioning. Liver levels seemed to reveal the desired liver function was not taking place. The day after I ask for specific pray that the Lord "massage that liver with His hand in order for it to begin working," the numbers came back and that is exactly what had happened! Coincidence? I think not. Answer to prayer? Absolutely!

So I ask again. This may not be the last time a dire need for prayer is solicited. But I ask it now. Please pray that Micah would be healed once again. But as always, pray most of all that God would be glorified. That He would be made known and known is our desire in and through this.

Thank you.

The Silence of Heaven

2008-01-12T19:58:00.000-05:00

"So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was" (John 11:6).

Has heaven ever seemed to be painfully quiet while you were neck-deep in a painful or difficult situation? I read the account in John 11 and I immediately focus on the fact that Jesus Christ raised Lazarus from the dead. I am, for a moment, transported on the scene. I hear Christ instruct them to roll the stone away. I too gasp as do Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus. They seem to speak what is on my mind. "Lord, by now he stinks." Yep! I with you. But Jesus isn't deterred. And so the stone gets rolled away. By the way, praise God that wasn't the last stone that got rolled away.

So I stand with the crowd gathered to mourn. I watch with amazement as this "madman" speaks with power, authority and passion (for He had even wept over this man's death). But what happened next would make any old bag of bones shout. For when Jesus had prayed to the Father, He cried out, "Lazarus, come forth." At that instant, Lazarus, still donned in grave clothes about his hands and feet and head, came walking out of that tomb like a man who had just gotten up from an afternoon nap. Though too stunned to speak or move, my soul stands up and shouts. Now that's awesome. Question a man's miraculous birth, His lineage or His claims. Yet you cannot dispute there's something different about Him. And moments like these give evidence that His birth, His lineage and His claims are all true.

But hang on for a minute. Go back and read that familiar and powerful account from the human perspective. See it with the eyes you and I would have witnessed it had we been the family members. It isn't hard for Mary and Martha reveal it for us.

When Lazarus got sick, Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus about their brother's illness. Women touched His garment and were instantly healed. Blind men cried out and Jesus stopped, touched them and gave them sight. But friends petition Him to come for their brother and His response in the immediate is...NOTHING! He doesn't go. He doesn't send a reply. Mary and Martha are broken, hurting, scared and desperate. Nevertheless, Jesus did not go. As a matter of fact, He deliberately waited another two days before going and by the time He arrived Lazarus had been dead four days.

My response is their response: "If you had only come earlier, my brother would not have died." Jesus had not come. Jesus had not sent word back to them. Jesus had intentionally delayed coming to them. Sometimes, even in my own difficult and desperate moments, Jesus seems to be painfully quiet. Maybe you know that as well. Is it that He doesn't care? Of course not. For Jesus wept upon arriving at the home of His friends. Is it that He doesn't have the power? Absolutely not. For He would reverse the effects of sin and death and bring Lazarus back to life. Is it that we haven't done something right or that He is punishing us for some sin? I don't think so. Certainly Lazarus, Mary and Martha were imperfect humans. Yet Jesus never chastises them for any sin. Instead, the answer appears to be right there in black and white (or red and white if your Bible highlights Jesus' words).

Jesus said to Martha, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" Shortly thereafter, Jesus gave thanks for the Father always hearing Him and allowing those around Him to see and believe. Then He called Lazarus back to life. Certainly it is painful when heaven is silent and Jesus doesn't seem to run to the rescue when we have sent word, through prayer, making our request known to Him. However, Lazarus' death and Jesus' intentional delay was all part of the incredible plan of God to bring the maximum amount of glory to His name.

In our present situation, this passage gives me comfort. To be brief but as thorough as necessary, Micah has been hospitalized three times beginning November 30 through January 4. The last hospitalization started December 17 and went through January 4. Spending three weeks in the hospital isn't ideal or pleasant even though we knew it was necessary. Spending Christmas in the hospital is even more difficult though it reminded me of the first Christmas. After all, Jesus was born in a barn. Being in a hospital is much better than where He got to spend His first night and first Christmas.

Throughout the three hospitalizations, numerous tests, scans and cultures have been conducted. Doctors believe Micah is battling EBV (Eppstein Bar Virus) and possibly a fungus. However, his fevers continue and he continues to feel bad which has left doctors and Sarah and me bewildered (for lack of a more appropriate word). Even after being discharged on January 4, Micah has been having fevers, not feeling well, sleeping well or eating well. The uncertainty is vast. The doctors are perplexed even to the point that Micah's transplant doctor (who has since moved to Dallas) was called in for consultation to get another mind and perspective on what might be wrong and what might need to be done.

Just about every fluid in his body has been tested, cultured, etc. There has been some fluid in his ears and sinus cavities that Dr. Desai, the transplant doctor, recommended should be tested. We were sent to Dr. Hulka at the Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat Center of North Carolina this past week to have this cultured. The culture didn't reveal much. Therefore, it was recommended by the doctors that a more extensive culture be taken. So on Friday, yesterday, Micah had another surgical procedure. Dr. Hulka removed fluid from both his ears and his sinus cavities for cultures. At the same time, tubes were placed in Micah's ears to alleviate fluid pressure and potentially ward off any future infections since he has a suppressed immune system.

Numerous times throughout these last several weeks I have prayed for God's wisdom and knowledge to be given to doctors. On the other hand, I have prayed God miraculously intervene to the astonishment of all and to Him we will give the praise. Neither have come yet. I feel somewhat like Mary and Martha. The request and word has been sent up several times. I wait for a response. I pray that I am waiting as I should. Waiting in faith, waiting in full confidence of who God is and what He can do and waiting with the knowledge that He does all things well and for His glory.

So for those who have stumbled back by this blog (thank you for not giving up since it is difficult these days to update with so much going on), will you pray God gives wisdom to the doctors to know what is causing Micah to be so sick or to pray God simply touch Him and heal even if we never know what it was? Pray for strength. It's been a weary few weeks. But most of all, pray the Lord be magnified and glorified. He will be. I know this because He was when Lazarus walked out of that tomb!

2007-12-31T02:55:00.000-05:00

"...[P]ray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much" (James 5:16).

The Lord has taught me the power, the value and the great need for continual prayer in the life of every believer over these last 10 months. Many of you have been faithful to pray for us every day or every week since we first learned Micah had a problem with his liver. Before I even speak to Micah's current condition, may I ask you to add an additional name and family to your prayer list.

I recently received word that a friend of mine from the church I served on staff in Tennessee had a major stroke on Christmas Eve. He is only a few months older than me. When I called to check on him, he was trying to eat some food. However, the left side of his body remains paralyzed. Will you please pray for him, his wife Bonnie and their two children (Victoria and Ryan, Jr.)? Pray for God's provision and healing.

As for our family, it's been quite the few weeks. Micah was admitted to the hospital on December 17. He's still there! After multitudes of tests (MRI, Lumbar Puncture, Blood Cultures, Echocardiogram, etc.), we believe the culprit(s) causing all the trouble have been pinpointed. It is believed that Micah has EBV (Epstein Bar Virus) as well as a fungus. He is currently receiving an anti-viral and anti-fungal medication. In the last 48 hours he has certainly started showing signs of feeling better and a more normal disposition. He has also not had a fever for the last 48 hours which is a great sign of potential accuracy in diagnosis and positive progress.

Christmas was quite interesting this year. On one hand, he have yet to celebrate. On the other, we celebrated in what seemed to be a very fitting manner. We are waiting until Micah comes home to open the presents and do our family celebration (although Isaac and Ethan have both opened many presents given by churches and other organizations to children at Duke, as well as from their family). Hopefully Micah will come home by New Year's Day. Yet we do not know as of yet.

While it may not be the Christmas we would have chosen, it will likely go down as the one we remember. On Christmas Eve, I took Isaac and Ethan to the hospital to be with Sarah and Micah. With permission of nurses, Isaac and Ethan would spend the night in Micah's hospital room. Most individuals who learned of this thought Sarah and I were absolutely "out of our mind." That did enter my thoughts, but I could not see another way. So we arrived, ate dinner and then ate our "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, ate our cake and then watched a movie. Isaac didn't last long and was asleep in probably 10 minutes. So Ethan and I climbed into our pullout bed while Sarah and Isaac slept in the hospital bed. Micah snoozed in his small crib and we slept.

The morning of Christmas, Isaac and Ethan piled into the wagon and I pulled them down to the cafeteria to get our Christmas breakfast. It was a far cry from mom or grandma's country Christmas cookin', but our Fruit Loops and bagel sufficed. Afterwards, the boys opened the presents delivered by those organizations or church groups. They had a blast doing so.

In the midst of all this, I thought to myself: Jesus was born in a barn and laid in a feeding trough. I guess Duke Hospital isn't too bad in light of where the Father sent His Son. The smells. The germs. The noises. The inconvenience. I didn't want to be in the hospital. We had plans to travel as usual. We had hopes of a normal kind of Christmas. But Mary and Joseph had a lot to gripe about. Having to travel at all when she was full term just so they could follow the decree of for the census seems burdensome. Not having a proper room to sleep, let alone have a baby, appears to be ridiculous. Realizing God the Father knew and planned it all this way, I am humbled. And most of all, because I know He knew, planned and sent His Son and I was the reason.

So when I began to feel sorry for myself, the Lord sure did remind me of the conditions surrounding His Son on that very first Christmas. And when all was said and done, I may not want to repeat this Christmas, that is repeat a hospital stay and Micah being sick, but it was good in its own way. Considering the first Christmas ever, it almost seemed fitting.

I continue to ask for your prayers. Pray for Micah to be healthy soon and for the wisdom of every doctor whose hands are upon this case. Please continue to pray that Micah will have sustained health over the next several months, especially through the brutal cold and flu season. He will turn a year old in 6 weeks. Praise the Lord for almost a full year of life for our son. There are times we weren't sure he'd even live 10 months. But the Lord is good. Pray for Sarah, Isaac and Ethan during these tough days of separation and unsettled shedules and routines.

Most of all, ask the Father to enable us to give Him glory and to glorify Himself.